Forgive me, faithful readers. I have been "prone to wander" onto several things as of late, leaving me without moments to write. The last two weeks have been a whirlwind of good and bad and ugly and mundane. The next two weeks will be more of the same.
My final grad project is due on Dec. 15, and it will dominate my few open moments. My few open moments are nearly non-existent, as I'm spending 4 nights a week in a gym. If I'm honest, there's no way I'll get to write in the next two weeks.
Therefore, I'm officially declaring a blogging sabbatical until the week of Christmas. I have much to say upon my return, but no time to say it for the next two weeks. I value my readers greatly, and I pray that you'll return around Christmas to check out the blog then once again. I purchased a laptop yesterday, which will hopefully increase my blogging productivity.
Stay with me and be patient. And thank you for your reading and commentary thus far.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
I'm back
For any who are wondering, I believe I've made it back out of the abyss of "here." It was a long journey, and it's the first topic that dominated several consecutive blog posts. One of the biggest things I learned is just how common this experience is. I had so many of you write or call or talk about your own experiences "here." "Here" is a reality - it happens to everyone. There is a season for everything, including a season to feel like crap and mope around about it. It happened to me, and it will happen again. Thought I don't look forward to sitting in a long funk again, the good times do taste much sweeter when compared to the not so good times. And when it comes again, I hope I remember what I've learned about getting out.
Strategy #1: I get by with a little help from my friends.
I got fed up and had a gathering of sorts with some of my close friends from my time at NS-RF high school. I felt like garbage, so I threw a party. We sat around my living room, enjoyed a few beverages, and we laughed. If you want to hear stories, sit in a room with a bunch of teachers and their spouses. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. I did briefly entertain the idea of becoming an X-ray technician (or something like that); but ultimately I came away not with with a career change, but with a great deal of joy. Which was pretty much the goal anyway. Too often I think we wait to celebrate big events. That night, we simply celebrated one of our biggest priorities, which is laughing together. I definitely had no time for self-pity in that environment.
Strategy #2: Be honest to those you trust.
I really hesitated to make any of my feelings public on this blog. I also don't enjoy talking about them openly with others as well. Against my better judgment, I did post it; and I also talked to a current teaching friend at Mason City. Frankly, it helped a lot. With my Mason City colleague, who was feeling the exact same way (especially about our job), we talked ourselves into no longer being the victim. We brought cookies and donuts to improve morale. We committed to telling more jokes between classes. I talked to several others or you, whether through Google chat, the phone, or elsewhere. It helped. 99.9% of people I would never be this honest with; those I trusted, however, proved worthy of that trust.
Strategy #3: Marry a patient spouse.
Although she never verbalized it, I imagine the thoughts going on in my wife's head went something like this: "I don't like you very much right now, but I do love you. At some point, the man I married will return. I hope that happens soon. Until then, I'll love you even though you're absolutely no fun at all." And she did. I hope she feels rewarded for her patience.
Strategy #4: Read wise authors, like MLK Jr.
This quote from King was especially important in the journey out:
"Do your work so well that no one could do it better. Do it so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to say: Here lived a man who did his job as if God Almighty called him at this particular time in history to do it."
I don't have to necessarily like my current situation to do that. And I must act as if I was called at this time and to this place to do my job, because I was. I'm here. And if an Almighty and Sovereign Being exists, He's responsible for that. So suck it up, Dykstra.
I wrote "wise" authors in the strategy as opposed to inspirational, because I found inspirational authors to do nothing for me. Those that usually inspire me did not have the words for me when I was "here." Wisdom was more inspiring than inspiration. Figure that one out. I suppose when the emotion one is most tied to is self-pity, appealing to one's emotions through inspirational talk will have little effect. That was my experience anyway.
Strategy #5: Do what you love.
I never stopped loving teaching. So I kept teaching. I love shooting the bull with other teachers, so I did that. I love my wife and my daughter and my family, so I stuck as closely to them as possible, even when I wasn't in the best of moods. I love coaching, so I got ready for the season. None of it fixed the events that put me in the funk, but doing what I love did make me remember that the little bad things going on that added up into big things ultimately didn't overcome the big positive things already in my life.
So through the grace of God, my friends, and my family, I feel like I'm back. I'm still busy, and I'm still somewhat dissatisfied with aspects of my job. None of that has changed. I'm just out of the abyss. It feels good to be out.
Strategy #1: I get by with a little help from my friends.
I got fed up and had a gathering of sorts with some of my close friends from my time at NS-RF high school. I felt like garbage, so I threw a party. We sat around my living room, enjoyed a few beverages, and we laughed. If you want to hear stories, sit in a room with a bunch of teachers and their spouses. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. I did briefly entertain the idea of becoming an X-ray technician (or something like that); but ultimately I came away not with with a career change, but with a great deal of joy. Which was pretty much the goal anyway. Too often I think we wait to celebrate big events. That night, we simply celebrated one of our biggest priorities, which is laughing together. I definitely had no time for self-pity in that environment.
Strategy #2: Be honest to those you trust.
I really hesitated to make any of my feelings public on this blog. I also don't enjoy talking about them openly with others as well. Against my better judgment, I did post it; and I also talked to a current teaching friend at Mason City. Frankly, it helped a lot. With my Mason City colleague, who was feeling the exact same way (especially about our job), we talked ourselves into no longer being the victim. We brought cookies and donuts to improve morale. We committed to telling more jokes between classes. I talked to several others or you, whether through Google chat, the phone, or elsewhere. It helped. 99.9% of people I would never be this honest with; those I trusted, however, proved worthy of that trust.
Strategy #3: Marry a patient spouse.
Although she never verbalized it, I imagine the thoughts going on in my wife's head went something like this: "I don't like you very much right now, but I do love you. At some point, the man I married will return. I hope that happens soon. Until then, I'll love you even though you're absolutely no fun at all." And she did. I hope she feels rewarded for her patience.
Strategy #4: Read wise authors, like MLK Jr.
This quote from King was especially important in the journey out:
"Do your work so well that no one could do it better. Do it so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to say: Here lived a man who did his job as if God Almighty called him at this particular time in history to do it."
I don't have to necessarily like my current situation to do that. And I must act as if I was called at this time and to this place to do my job, because I was. I'm here. And if an Almighty and Sovereign Being exists, He's responsible for that. So suck it up, Dykstra.
I wrote "wise" authors in the strategy as opposed to inspirational, because I found inspirational authors to do nothing for me. Those that usually inspire me did not have the words for me when I was "here." Wisdom was more inspiring than inspiration. Figure that one out. I suppose when the emotion one is most tied to is self-pity, appealing to one's emotions through inspirational talk will have little effect. That was my experience anyway.
Strategy #5: Do what you love.
I never stopped loving teaching. So I kept teaching. I love shooting the bull with other teachers, so I did that. I love my wife and my daughter and my family, so I stuck as closely to them as possible, even when I wasn't in the best of moods. I love coaching, so I got ready for the season. None of it fixed the events that put me in the funk, but doing what I love did make me remember that the little bad things going on that added up into big things ultimately didn't overcome the big positive things already in my life.
So through the grace of God, my friends, and my family, I feel like I'm back. I'm still busy, and I'm still somewhat dissatisfied with aspects of my job. None of that has changed. I'm just out of the abyss. It feels good to be out.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Self-Pity and and the Art of Potty-Training
My recent foray into self-pity over the past few weeks (or is it months now?) has taught me something. Self-pity is a drug that I abuse. It's drug for several reasons. When I don't want to feel anything else because I'm frustrated or fed up, I turn to self-pity. I turn to it because then it's all about me, all about my comfort. There's a certain high that comes from it initially, but there's a distinct (and longer) downer and hangover period after the fact. It's recreational and social - I love to use it and share it with friends. Seeing friends use it draws me into it even when I'm not originally using it myself. And it's addicting. Oh is it addicting, calling me back to it again and again, creating a binge of weeks (or months) that feels like a fog of time. Self-pity is a drug, and it is a demon.
I've at least figured out part of the source that created the downward spiral into this drug abuse. Like so many other people, it's my job. I'm not having a lot of fun right now, for several reasons. Part of it is I wonder whether or not I'll have my job at the end of the school year. And despite my frustrations, this is a job I want to keep. But a lot of it is the way my school is being run right now. I'll avoid the specifics, but the environment is the worst I've been in during my 8 years of teaching. And the most positive people I work with feel the same way at this point. Last Sunday's sermon at church was about work. I absolutely wanted to avoid that topic at all costs that day, but I did write down something that our pastor quoted in his sermon:
"While the carpenter is building the house, the house is building the carpenter." Unfortunately, I could see the way my work was "building" me, and the result was the drug addiction mentioned above.
Yesterday I was getting frustrated with my daughter. We're in the middle of potty training right now. She's interested in it, and she knows what she's supposed to do. She even cheers loudly for me every time I successfully urinate in the correct spot. She's only successful in finding the right spot at the right time for herself, though, about 1 in 6 or 7 times. I was just shaking my head yesterday. This is a kid who hates being dirty. Our napkin budget has tripled since she's began eating solid food, because she must stay clean. When we carved our pumpkin this year, she helped get the guts of the pumpkin out; but it was with a large spoon from a great distance away. She hates uncleanliness. I can't figure out why, then, she won't just use the toilet consistently. She understands the process. She knows she'll be wet and unhappy if she doesn't. And she's successful when she chooses to be. This doesn't make any sense, I thought to myself.
Then I went on a run and figured something out. I'm doing pretty much the exact same thing she's doing. I hate feeling like crap. I avoid it as much as possible. I know that to avoid extended periods of feeling like this, I must stay connected to God. Yet time and time again, God must look down and shake his head, wondering why I've wet myself all over again. I'm 29 years old, and I still need to wear pull-ups through the night because when things get dark in my life, I forget to use the toilet (figuratively speaking). My daughter's two. What's my excuse?
I've at least figured out part of the source that created the downward spiral into this drug abuse. Like so many other people, it's my job. I'm not having a lot of fun right now, for several reasons. Part of it is I wonder whether or not I'll have my job at the end of the school year. And despite my frustrations, this is a job I want to keep. But a lot of it is the way my school is being run right now. I'll avoid the specifics, but the environment is the worst I've been in during my 8 years of teaching. And the most positive people I work with feel the same way at this point. Last Sunday's sermon at church was about work. I absolutely wanted to avoid that topic at all costs that day, but I did write down something that our pastor quoted in his sermon:
"While the carpenter is building the house, the house is building the carpenter." Unfortunately, I could see the way my work was "building" me, and the result was the drug addiction mentioned above.
Yesterday I was getting frustrated with my daughter. We're in the middle of potty training right now. She's interested in it, and she knows what she's supposed to do. She even cheers loudly for me every time I successfully urinate in the correct spot. She's only successful in finding the right spot at the right time for herself, though, about 1 in 6 or 7 times. I was just shaking my head yesterday. This is a kid who hates being dirty. Our napkin budget has tripled since she's began eating solid food, because she must stay clean. When we carved our pumpkin this year, she helped get the guts of the pumpkin out; but it was with a large spoon from a great distance away. She hates uncleanliness. I can't figure out why, then, she won't just use the toilet consistently. She understands the process. She knows she'll be wet and unhappy if she doesn't. And she's successful when she chooses to be. This doesn't make any sense, I thought to myself.
Then I went on a run and figured something out. I'm doing pretty much the exact same thing she's doing. I hate feeling like crap. I avoid it as much as possible. I know that to avoid extended periods of feeling like this, I must stay connected to God. Yet time and time again, God must look down and shake his head, wondering why I've wet myself all over again. I'm 29 years old, and I still need to wear pull-ups through the night because when things get dark in my life, I forget to use the toilet (figuratively speaking). My daughter's two. What's my excuse?
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Clawing out
I fear the road out of spiritual darkness is a long one. I wrote last time about the "reality of here," and I'm finally getting around to trying to dig myself out. The most embarrassing thing about my writing is that I have nothing to complain about. Currently, I am financially secure, healthy, and comfortable. I have a terrific family and great friends; and both are relatively near to me geographically. I am not sick. I'm not in the middle of a divorce or on my way to one. I don't fear for my safety daily. I have limitless opportunities each day. All this by the grace of God.
Those facts, though, make it ridiculous for me to write about spiritual darkenss when so many I know have real complaints, real tragedies, real obstacles. Do not read this post and the previous one as insults. Personally embarrassing for me, yes. But certainly I have no intent to disrespect those with real problems.
The evidence suggests that I don't have real problems. My state of mind, however, suggests otherwise. So I've begun the digging out process.
I know I've got to start with prayer. Prayer is tough when you're "here." It's like not seeing an acquaintance for about 5 years (mostly because you didn't ever have time to return their phone calls), then running into them. What do you say? Sorry I'm an ass?
I know reading the Bible is key. But that feels like homework right now. 90% of the time reading the Bible feels like sitting down with an old friend. It's better than anything I've read, and I'm a literature teacher who loves what I teach. But right now it's not speaking to me. And a big part of the reason is my focus on all my work piling up on me.
I know I've got to lower my stress. But there's nothing greater (sarcasm, sarcasm) than demanding to a stressful person to knock it off, quit being stressed. Right now!!! Balance would lower stress, I'm sure. But balance would get fewer things done. Fewer things done would create more stress. A beautiful cycle.
I'm trying. I'm clawing. I'm desperate. And as I said to start, all things considered, I'm living a great life. I just can't wait to get out of "here." The journey continues. . .
Those facts, though, make it ridiculous for me to write about spiritual darkenss when so many I know have real complaints, real tragedies, real obstacles. Do not read this post and the previous one as insults. Personally embarrassing for me, yes. But certainly I have no intent to disrespect those with real problems.
The evidence suggests that I don't have real problems. My state of mind, however, suggests otherwise. So I've begun the digging out process.
I know I've got to start with prayer. Prayer is tough when you're "here." It's like not seeing an acquaintance for about 5 years (mostly because you didn't ever have time to return their phone calls), then running into them. What do you say? Sorry I'm an ass?
I know reading the Bible is key. But that feels like homework right now. 90% of the time reading the Bible feels like sitting down with an old friend. It's better than anything I've read, and I'm a literature teacher who loves what I teach. But right now it's not speaking to me. And a big part of the reason is my focus on all my work piling up on me.
I know I've got to lower my stress. But there's nothing greater (sarcasm, sarcasm) than demanding to a stressful person to knock it off, quit being stressed. Right now!!! Balance would lower stress, I'm sure. But balance would get fewer things done. Fewer things done would create more stress. A beautiful cycle.
I'm trying. I'm clawing. I'm desperate. And as I said to start, all things considered, I'm living a great life. I just can't wait to get out of "here." The journey continues. . .
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
The reality of "here"
Tonight I'm going to be more honest than I care to get about myself; but I've got to write something, and I can't fake my way through this one.
Basically, I'd like to reveal reality tonight - the reality of spiritual darkness. When I started this blog, one of my goals was to present real comments from an average guy about spirituality. In order to be most real, I've got to admit that feelings like this exist; and I don't know what to do about it.
I don't feel great right now. I'm fine, but I don't really feel much of anything other than frustration. I've been busy, and I've allowed myself to wander, which shouldn't be shocking based on the title of this blog. Frankly, I've gotten disconnected from God. I've read less and prayed less and been to church less than is absolutely necessary to maintain connectivity. So now I find myself here.
Where is here? Here is where you are when you open up your Bible and realize you don't have the focus or the motivation to keep reading. When you know you're just reading, not feeling and understanding and tasting truth from the pages. Here is where I know I should pray, but I don't have anything to say to God that doesn't sound fake. And I can't be fake. Here is where hymns are just words, a job is a job to endure, and blogs are tough to write because I'm so far from where I was when I wrote earlier posts.
Here is where my wife can't stand to be around me because I'm just not myself. Where I see more problems than possibilities, where I get frustrated at my daughter's first round of whining instead of the fifth, where I have so much to do and don't really want to do any of it because I'm tired and grumpy and the TV is so much easier.
I'm still enjoying life. And I'm still doing my job. I can go have a great weekend with my wife and my family, enjoying every minute of it. But when I get home and am alone, I am here. I can go to work and have great class discussions over literature and have meaningful conversations with kids. Then I leave, and I'm here.
I think we've all been "here." I hate admitting I'm here, and I hate even more that I have no idea how to get out of "here." But I had to write. And I had to be real tonight.
So here I am, being way more honest than I want to be. But if this is going to be a blog about the average man and spirituality, I've got to admit that "here" exists.
Basically, I'd like to reveal reality tonight - the reality of spiritual darkness. When I started this blog, one of my goals was to present real comments from an average guy about spirituality. In order to be most real, I've got to admit that feelings like this exist; and I don't know what to do about it.
I don't feel great right now. I'm fine, but I don't really feel much of anything other than frustration. I've been busy, and I've allowed myself to wander, which shouldn't be shocking based on the title of this blog. Frankly, I've gotten disconnected from God. I've read less and prayed less and been to church less than is absolutely necessary to maintain connectivity. So now I find myself here.
Where is here? Here is where you are when you open up your Bible and realize you don't have the focus or the motivation to keep reading. When you know you're just reading, not feeling and understanding and tasting truth from the pages. Here is where I know I should pray, but I don't have anything to say to God that doesn't sound fake. And I can't be fake. Here is where hymns are just words, a job is a job to endure, and blogs are tough to write because I'm so far from where I was when I wrote earlier posts.
Here is where my wife can't stand to be around me because I'm just not myself. Where I see more problems than possibilities, where I get frustrated at my daughter's first round of whining instead of the fifth, where I have so much to do and don't really want to do any of it because I'm tired and grumpy and the TV is so much easier.
I'm still enjoying life. And I'm still doing my job. I can go have a great weekend with my wife and my family, enjoying every minute of it. But when I get home and am alone, I am here. I can go to work and have great class discussions over literature and have meaningful conversations with kids. Then I leave, and I'm here.
I think we've all been "here." I hate admitting I'm here, and I hate even more that I have no idea how to get out of "here." But I had to write. And I had to be real tonight.
So here I am, being way more honest than I want to be. But if this is going to be a blog about the average man and spirituality, I've got to admit that "here" exists.
Monday, October 26, 2009
I could've been somebody. . .
I read Sandra Cisneros' novel House on Mango Street for my grad class last week. The book is a collection of connected short stories about a young Hispanic-American girl growing up in her neighborhood. Several quotes stood out to me about the book.
1. “I could’ve been somebody, you know? my mother says and sighs.”
I think this is the great fear for everyone in life – to wake up and realize what one could have been and see unrealized potential. I know I fear this on almost a daily basis. However, this mother doesn’t see that she is somebody. She is a wildly successful mother (it seems). She is likely someone who loves her family passionately. She has so much more than many people in life and has accomplished a great deal through her children. This was an important reminder to me, that perhaps what I accomplish with my family is so much more important than fulfilling professional potential.
2. “They always told us that one day we would move into a house, a real house that would be ours for always so we wouldn’t have to move each year. And our house would have running water and pipes that worked. And inside it would have real stairs, not hallway stairs, but stairs inside like the houses on T.V. . . . This was the house Papa talked about when he held a lottery ticket and this was the house Mama dreamed up in the stories she told us before we went to bed.”
“I knew then I had to have a house. A real house. One I could point to. But this isn’t it. The house on Mango Street isn’t it. For the time being, Mama says. Temporary, says Papa. But I know how those things go.”
To me, this is a great picture of real life. On one side, you have the dream. This is what you hope for, this is what you’ve been told is within your reach as part of the American Dream. On the other side is reality. There is a disappointment when reality doesn’t match the dream. But the author knows “how those things go.” It’s life.
Also, this "Promised Land" approach to life is one of the most dangerous approaches to happiness that attacks the daily lives of so many individuals. It’s the “I’ll be happy when. . .” mindset, or the “If I can just get through this. . .” approach. The bottom line that people need to figure out (and that I need to remind myself of often) is that happiness is more of a choice and less of a product of circumstances. I won’t be happier when my graduate degree is complete. Things won’t calm down once I get through this grading period. If I’m not able to be content in all circumstances, I probably won’t be able to be content in any.
Also, these “promised land” dreams are what leads to a great deal of disappointment in life. It’s so easy to build up in our heads a perfect picture of what something will be like – first job, marriage, kids. And it’s rarely if ever how you picture it. Even the realities of the politics involved in being an educator are something that weren’t part of the grand picture I had in my head when dreaming of being a teacher. When expectations don’t meet reality, it’s easy to get down. (I know this sounds like a contradiction to my comments about dreaming big in an earlier post. Perhaps it is. But I'm okay with that)
A few other quotes that caught my eye, but that I'll let speak for themselves:
- “People who live on hills sleep so close to the stars they forget those of us who live too much on earth. They don’t look down at all except to be content to live on hills.”
- “All brown all around, we are safe. But watch us drive into a neighborhood of another color and our knees go shakity-shake and our car windows get rolled up tight and our eyes look straight. Yeah. That is how it goes and goes.”
- “Until then I am a red balloon, a balloon tied to an anchor.”
1. “I could’ve been somebody, you know? my mother says and sighs.”
I think this is the great fear for everyone in life – to wake up and realize what one could have been and see unrealized potential. I know I fear this on almost a daily basis. However, this mother doesn’t see that she is somebody. She is a wildly successful mother (it seems). She is likely someone who loves her family passionately. She has so much more than many people in life and has accomplished a great deal through her children. This was an important reminder to me, that perhaps what I accomplish with my family is so much more important than fulfilling professional potential.
2. “They always told us that one day we would move into a house, a real house that would be ours for always so we wouldn’t have to move each year. And our house would have running water and pipes that worked. And inside it would have real stairs, not hallway stairs, but stairs inside like the houses on T.V. . . . This was the house Papa talked about when he held a lottery ticket and this was the house Mama dreamed up in the stories she told us before we went to bed.”
“I knew then I had to have a house. A real house. One I could point to. But this isn’t it. The house on Mango Street isn’t it. For the time being, Mama says. Temporary, says Papa. But I know how those things go.”
To me, this is a great picture of real life. On one side, you have the dream. This is what you hope for, this is what you’ve been told is within your reach as part of the American Dream. On the other side is reality. There is a disappointment when reality doesn’t match the dream. But the author knows “how those things go.” It’s life.
Also, this "Promised Land" approach to life is one of the most dangerous approaches to happiness that attacks the daily lives of so many individuals. It’s the “I’ll be happy when. . .” mindset, or the “If I can just get through this. . .” approach. The bottom line that people need to figure out (and that I need to remind myself of often) is that happiness is more of a choice and less of a product of circumstances. I won’t be happier when my graduate degree is complete. Things won’t calm down once I get through this grading period. If I’m not able to be content in all circumstances, I probably won’t be able to be content in any.
Also, these “promised land” dreams are what leads to a great deal of disappointment in life. It’s so easy to build up in our heads a perfect picture of what something will be like – first job, marriage, kids. And it’s rarely if ever how you picture it. Even the realities of the politics involved in being an educator are something that weren’t part of the grand picture I had in my head when dreaming of being a teacher. When expectations don’t meet reality, it’s easy to get down. (I know this sounds like a contradiction to my comments about dreaming big in an earlier post. Perhaps it is. But I'm okay with that)
A few other quotes that caught my eye, but that I'll let speak for themselves:
- “People who live on hills sleep so close to the stars they forget those of us who live too much on earth. They don’t look down at all except to be content to live on hills.”
- “All brown all around, we are safe. But watch us drive into a neighborhood of another color and our knees go shakity-shake and our car windows get rolled up tight and our eyes look straight. Yeah. That is how it goes and goes.”
- “Until then I am a red balloon, a balloon tied to an anchor.”
Monday, October 19, 2009
Preaching to myself, the deer
I'm working my way through a series of sermons by John Piper about the book of Psalms. The great thing about the Psalms is that they are poetry - raw, immediate, emotional responses to a range of life situations. Sometimes I find solace reading the words of someone living thousands of years ago who felt exactly like I do. More often, however, I read what I wish I were feeling.
The sermon I recently listened to was about Psalm 42, about a man in spiritual depression (to download sermon, go to http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/BySeries/84/2806_Spiritual_Depression_in_the_Psalms/). What struck me were two of the six responses by this writer.
One of them is that the writer preaches to his own soul. Piper called it crucial that we learn to preach the truth to ourselves. Piper quotes Martin Lloyd-Jones:
"Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself? Take those thoughts that come to you the moment you wake up in the morning. You have not originated them but they are talking to you, they bring back the problems of yesterday, etc. Somebody is talking. Who is talking to you? Your self is talking to you. . ."
I find it exceptionally common to be in a situation in which I know the truth but I don't feel the truth. I don't forget the realities of God; I would just prefer to listen to myself stay focused on how I feel I'm being cheated or wronged. In those times I must preach to myself.
The other thing that stood out regarded a well-known verse from this Psalm: "As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God" (verse 1). What stands out here is that despite the depression and turmoil being dealt with, the writer doesn't say that he thirsts for relief from his circumstances. He doesn't thirst for escape from his enemies. He certainly wants these things. But more important to him is God Himself. He wants God. And if enduring these storms brings him closer, then he will endure these storms.
Seek God, and preach to myself. I'll add that to not being strongly moved on my to-do list for the week. I've got a lot of work to do.
The sermon I recently listened to was about Psalm 42, about a man in spiritual depression (to download sermon, go to http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/BySeries/84/2806_Spiritual_Depression_in_the_Psalms/). What struck me were two of the six responses by this writer.
One of them is that the writer preaches to his own soul. Piper called it crucial that we learn to preach the truth to ourselves. Piper quotes Martin Lloyd-Jones:
"Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself? Take those thoughts that come to you the moment you wake up in the morning. You have not originated them but they are talking to you, they bring back the problems of yesterday, etc. Somebody is talking. Who is talking to you? Your self is talking to you. . ."
I find it exceptionally common to be in a situation in which I know the truth but I don't feel the truth. I don't forget the realities of God; I would just prefer to listen to myself stay focused on how I feel I'm being cheated or wronged. In those times I must preach to myself.
The other thing that stood out regarded a well-known verse from this Psalm: "As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God" (verse 1). What stands out here is that despite the depression and turmoil being dealt with, the writer doesn't say that he thirsts for relief from his circumstances. He doesn't thirst for escape from his enemies. He certainly wants these things. But more important to him is God Himself. He wants God. And if enduring these storms brings him closer, then he will endure these storms.
Seek God, and preach to myself. I'll add that to not being strongly moved on my to-do list for the week. I've got a lot of work to do.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Notes from today
Some notes from today:
1. One writing assignment I gave to my Modern American Lit. students was to write down what they believed about God and how they came to that belief. I told them to include both what they are sure of and what they think they know. But I asked them to tell me their personal beliefs, not those of their family. It's a pre-reading prompt for the text The Color Purple.
I think this is a worthy question for all of us. If you can't answer the question and feel good about the answer, you probably don't know what you believe. And if you don't know what you believe, you have no world-view directing your decisions and actions. Very dangerous.
I love teaching this book because the author's message is one I deplore. I disagree whole-heartedly with the ideas the author suggests about God in the book. It's a challenge, therefore, to love the literature but hate the message. And the reward is that I get to hear teenager reaction to the book. I get to see them being forced to stretch their initial image (or lack thereof) of God and justify or change that belief. I think many people are scared to death to read texts about ideas they disagree with. In reality, I know of no better way to solidify one's beliefs than by allowing them to be challenged by someone who stands in very different shoes.
2. I read what I consider to be one of the greatest lines in all of the Psalms tonight. David writes in Psalm 62:
"He is my defense;
I shall not be greatly moved."
I want this to be true of myself more than just about anything right now. I would love to build a reputation of someone who shall not be greatly moved. I shouldn't be greatly moved (worked up, upset, complaining, agitated, etc.) by many of the trivialities in life. When things are tough, if I truly believe what I say I believe, I should stand strong, unfliching. I shouldn't feel my blood pressure boil when silly people say silly things, or when situations I can't control prevent me from my own illusion of being in complete control. And I shouldn't let the number of things on my "To-do list" move me away from patience, from prayer, and from focus on my priorities.
I know of no greater challenge to myself right now than to not be greatly moved. I seek to stand strong; because when I don't, I reveal how little I truly believe God is.
1. One writing assignment I gave to my Modern American Lit. students was to write down what they believed about God and how they came to that belief. I told them to include both what they are sure of and what they think they know. But I asked them to tell me their personal beliefs, not those of their family. It's a pre-reading prompt for the text The Color Purple.
I think this is a worthy question for all of us. If you can't answer the question and feel good about the answer, you probably don't know what you believe. And if you don't know what you believe, you have no world-view directing your decisions and actions. Very dangerous.
I love teaching this book because the author's message is one I deplore. I disagree whole-heartedly with the ideas the author suggests about God in the book. It's a challenge, therefore, to love the literature but hate the message. And the reward is that I get to hear teenager reaction to the book. I get to see them being forced to stretch their initial image (or lack thereof) of God and justify or change that belief. I think many people are scared to death to read texts about ideas they disagree with. In reality, I know of no better way to solidify one's beliefs than by allowing them to be challenged by someone who stands in very different shoes.
2. I read what I consider to be one of the greatest lines in all of the Psalms tonight. David writes in Psalm 62:
"He is my defense;
I shall not be greatly moved."
I want this to be true of myself more than just about anything right now. I would love to build a reputation of someone who shall not be greatly moved. I shouldn't be greatly moved (worked up, upset, complaining, agitated, etc.) by many of the trivialities in life. When things are tough, if I truly believe what I say I believe, I should stand strong, unfliching. I shouldn't feel my blood pressure boil when silly people say silly things, or when situations I can't control prevent me from my own illusion of being in complete control. And I shouldn't let the number of things on my "To-do list" move me away from patience, from prayer, and from focus on my priorities.
I know of no greater challenge to myself right now than to not be greatly moved. I seek to stand strong; because when I don't, I reveal how little I truly believe God is.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Ideas this week
A few assorted ideas I’ve come across in the past few days:
1. Never pray for something unless you’re willing to be part of the answer.
- Grant Osborne
Our associate pastor included this as part of his sermon last Sunday. It’s a challenging concept. His context: Christ viewed the people of the world as A)sheep without a shepherd who were both harassed and helpless, and B) the harvest (souls to save). His followers have the command to see people in the same way, and to be as desperate as a harvester is to get in the crop before it spoils. I can pray all I want for this “harvest”; but if I’m not actively doing anything about it, it’s an empty request.
2. What you want has a massive impact on what you’ll allow yourself to believe.
This one came from a recent John Piper sermon I listened to tonight while working out. I fear the number of truths I hold on to because I simply want them to be true, or because it would be inconvenient if they weren’t. And I don’t know how one would be able to see these faulty trughts without the help of a friend. Readers – if you see me believing anything foolish out of convenience or out of an empty desire, I beg you to call me on it.
3. Having dinner with characters.
At the English teachers conference I was at last weekend, one of the questions that teachers pondered was which literary character would they most like to have dinner with. They provided a list of common characters, and from the list I picked Atticus Finch. I think the question goes deeper than who is your favorite character, and I’m at a loss to answer the question as I’ve pondered it from an unlimited bank of possibilities. I also have thought about which person from the Bible (other than Christ, obviously) I’d most like to have dinner with, So many to choose from, but so many flaws as well. I don’t have an answer for either, but I’m really curious what my readers have to say on this. If you’ve got any thoughts on this matter, post a comment.
1. Never pray for something unless you’re willing to be part of the answer.
- Grant Osborne
Our associate pastor included this as part of his sermon last Sunday. It’s a challenging concept. His context: Christ viewed the people of the world as A)sheep without a shepherd who were both harassed and helpless, and B) the harvest (souls to save). His followers have the command to see people in the same way, and to be as desperate as a harvester is to get in the crop before it spoils. I can pray all I want for this “harvest”; but if I’m not actively doing anything about it, it’s an empty request.
2. What you want has a massive impact on what you’ll allow yourself to believe.
This one came from a recent John Piper sermon I listened to tonight while working out. I fear the number of truths I hold on to because I simply want them to be true, or because it would be inconvenient if they weren’t. And I don’t know how one would be able to see these faulty trughts without the help of a friend. Readers – if you see me believing anything foolish out of convenience or out of an empty desire, I beg you to call me on it.
3. Having dinner with characters.
At the English teachers conference I was at last weekend, one of the questions that teachers pondered was which literary character would they most like to have dinner with. They provided a list of common characters, and from the list I picked Atticus Finch. I think the question goes deeper than who is your favorite character, and I’m at a loss to answer the question as I’ve pondered it from an unlimited bank of possibilities. I also have thought about which person from the Bible (other than Christ, obviously) I’d most like to have dinner with, So many to choose from, but so many flaws as well. I don’t have an answer for either, but I’m really curious what my readers have to say on this. If you’ve got any thoughts on this matter, post a comment.
Stories = Life
"The language of stories is the language of life."
This idea is one I intend to explore further later; but for now, the short version. The conference I attended last weekend was the Iowa Council of Teachers of English Fall Conference. It was great to be with a room full of people who also love literature. The above idea was a statement at some point during the conference (and a statement I've read from many authors as well), and one of the speakers took it another step further. She contends that many individuals believe their story is already written. They buy into a certain story, and they expect their life to follow that story. When the real story doesn't go according to the imagined story's expectations, people experience disappointment.
When I think about this, it certainly is in the realm of truth. I hate when I get disappointed by a bad ending in a book or film. If I'm expecting something completely different, I'm not happy. The same is true of life. Many of us are expecting certain endings to the various stories we are involved in. We believe that "happily ever after" and all the romanticized morals from fables apply specifically to us, that the story is already written and we exist only to experience the ending. It's easy to lose our way and get disillusioned when we realize we have no editorial control. It's a real kick in the teeth, actually.
I see this in relation to Christianity in two ways. My first thought is my theory that Christians (or those who profess to be Christians) get lost or doubt their faith when they listen to the wrong story. They believe that being a Christian guarantees them an easy or comfortable life. The frustrating thing to me is that they believe it because that story is so pervasive in Christian environments. The message seems to be that, "If you'll accept Jesus into your heart right here and now by listening to the words that I'm praying right now, everything will be great." I've heard this message over and over. I've heard many testimonies talking about how terrible life was, then the individual remembered who God was, and then all was immediately well. I'm happy for that person, but I think it's a dangerous message.
The story Christ tells is an entirely different one. The world will hate you, He says. The meek will inherit the earth. Your job is to serve. You will be persecuted, and perhaps even killed. I can require your life or anyone else's at any minute of any day. There must be a death of your worldy desires. Give and love sacrificially.
My only point here is that when the wrong message is believed, it will ultimately lead to individuals feeling let down. It will lead to doubt. When the story doesn't end the way they thought it would, they will seek another story.
The other relation to Christianity comes from a Zig Ziglar speech I was listening to in my truck on the way to the conference. He talked about an especially tense Dallas Cowboys football game in which everyone who watched was on the edge of their seat, teetering on the edges of all sorts of emotions during a particularly close and important game. He said he was calm the entire time he was watching. Then he explained why - he watched the game on tape after he already knew the outcome. His point: Biblically-speaking, we know the outcome. It isn't a life of comfort, but it is an eternity of joy. It is fulfillment and purpose and a conquering of death. It is a victory in the only contests that matter. To know the outcome is a much easier way to live.
This idea is one I intend to explore further later; but for now, the short version. The conference I attended last weekend was the Iowa Council of Teachers of English Fall Conference. It was great to be with a room full of people who also love literature. The above idea was a statement at some point during the conference (and a statement I've read from many authors as well), and one of the speakers took it another step further. She contends that many individuals believe their story is already written. They buy into a certain story, and they expect their life to follow that story. When the real story doesn't go according to the imagined story's expectations, people experience disappointment.
When I think about this, it certainly is in the realm of truth. I hate when I get disappointed by a bad ending in a book or film. If I'm expecting something completely different, I'm not happy. The same is true of life. Many of us are expecting certain endings to the various stories we are involved in. We believe that "happily ever after" and all the romanticized morals from fables apply specifically to us, that the story is already written and we exist only to experience the ending. It's easy to lose our way and get disillusioned when we realize we have no editorial control. It's a real kick in the teeth, actually.
I see this in relation to Christianity in two ways. My first thought is my theory that Christians (or those who profess to be Christians) get lost or doubt their faith when they listen to the wrong story. They believe that being a Christian guarantees them an easy or comfortable life. The frustrating thing to me is that they believe it because that story is so pervasive in Christian environments. The message seems to be that, "If you'll accept Jesus into your heart right here and now by listening to the words that I'm praying right now, everything will be great." I've heard this message over and over. I've heard many testimonies talking about how terrible life was, then the individual remembered who God was, and then all was immediately well. I'm happy for that person, but I think it's a dangerous message.
The story Christ tells is an entirely different one. The world will hate you, He says. The meek will inherit the earth. Your job is to serve. You will be persecuted, and perhaps even killed. I can require your life or anyone else's at any minute of any day. There must be a death of your worldy desires. Give and love sacrificially.
My only point here is that when the wrong message is believed, it will ultimately lead to individuals feeling let down. It will lead to doubt. When the story doesn't end the way they thought it would, they will seek another story.
The other relation to Christianity comes from a Zig Ziglar speech I was listening to in my truck on the way to the conference. He talked about an especially tense Dallas Cowboys football game in which everyone who watched was on the edge of their seat, teetering on the edges of all sorts of emotions during a particularly close and important game. He said he was calm the entire time he was watching. Then he explained why - he watched the game on tape after he already knew the outcome. His point: Biblically-speaking, we know the outcome. It isn't a life of comfort, but it is an eternity of joy. It is fulfillment and purpose and a conquering of death. It is a victory in the only contests that matter. To know the outcome is a much easier way to live.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
My notes: adversity
I've struggled to keep my head above water this week, so I've got no topics to write about tonight and no energy to create. I want this blog to keep moving, though; and I don't see a writing opportunity until this weekend since I'm leaving for a conference tomorrow morning. Due to that fact, what I'm going to do (and plan to do from time to time) is post some notes I've taken over the past few years on a certain topic. I've taken to the habit of having a notebook with me when I'm reading or when I'm in a position to learn something so that I can revisit what I've learned. Occasionally I'll compile those notes and organize them into topics.
This week I've posted below some random notes and quotes regarding dealing with adversity:
1. “No society has ever developed tough men during times of peace.” (John C. Maxwell, The Winning Attitude)
-attack problems w/eyes on the benefits, not the barriers
2. From The Complete Works of Oswald Chambers, p. 37:
- Being a Believer means that I hang to the fact that God is true no matter what happens
- “The problems of life get hold of a man and make it difficult for him to know whether in the face of these things he really is confident in Jesus Christ.”
3. Other thoughts I've jotted down:
- My challenge is to love those I am frustrated with (not criticize behind their back); what do I gain by criticizing?
- Make sure that all confrontation is loving and for the purpose of helping the other (not in retaliation or to prove that I am right)
- I must get to the point where I truly believe I can lose everything, yet have Christ, and all will be well
This week I've posted below some random notes and quotes regarding dealing with adversity:
1. “No society has ever developed tough men during times of peace.” (John C. Maxwell, The Winning Attitude)
-attack problems w/eyes on the benefits, not the barriers
2. From The Complete Works of Oswald Chambers, p. 37:
- Being a Believer means that I hang to the fact that God is true no matter what happens
- “The problems of life get hold of a man and make it difficult for him to know whether in the face of these things he really is confident in Jesus Christ.”
3. Other thoughts I've jotted down:
- My challenge is to love those I am frustrated with (not criticize behind their back); what do I gain by criticizing?
- Make sure that all confrontation is loving and for the purpose of helping the other (not in retaliation or to prove that I am right)
- I must get to the point where I truly believe I can lose everything, yet have Christ, and all will be well
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Conference Reflections: Part 3
It's difficult to believe it's now been one week since I've been at the conference. The day was full of inspiration and optimism, and it's so easy to go back to drudgery and pessimism. It's unfortunate, but that drudgery and pessimism is simply more comfortable. Likely because I focus more on the world's effects on me instead of the potential of my effect on the world.
Before too much time passes, there are a few more ideas I want to share with all of you from the conference:
1. From Terry Bradshaw: "Everything you do in life should be for fun."
Bradshaw was the most dynamic speaker there. He held the whole audience in the palm of his hand, and he was absolutely on fire for the entire speech. He was funny and unpredictable, but more than anything else he was passionate. For 30 minutes, I wanted to be him. He looked like he was having fun doing exactly what he was made to do, and he was impacting people in the process. That's all I've ever wanted for my professional career. And that was kind of his focus. He kept saying that you have to find what your "it" is - whatever "it" is that you were made to do and that allows you to be passionate and have fun.
He also suggested a better strategy for getting out of bed in the morning than grumbling about the alarm clock. Instead, do three things:
1. Recognize that you're alive and that's a good thing
2. Be ready to say thank you to somebody, because no matter who you are or what you've done, you haven't done it alone.
3. Smile, because your day and the day of those around you will be so much better.
Cheesy advice, but sound. Waking up with gratitude and joy (regardless of circumstance) shouldn't be a revolutionary idea. But I know on the few days I begin in this mindset, I have a ten thousand times better chance at having fun and being effective.
2. From Zig Ziglar: "Build a Homecourt Advantage."
By Homecourt Advantage, what he meant was placing your home life as your top priority. It will be difficult to be truly effective at anything if that isn't true.
3. From Rudy Guliani: "Wedding discretionary, funeral necessary."
He said to imagine you have to choose between going to a wedding of a best friend or a funeral of a parent of a best friend. If you ever have to choose, choose the funeral. At a funeral, people need you more. As a leader, you should be where people need you, not where you're most likely to have fun. People need you more when things are wrong than when things are right. This philosophy should guide your time management: where do people most need me? If you know the answer to that, you know where you can be most effective.
Before too much time passes, there are a few more ideas I want to share with all of you from the conference:
1. From Terry Bradshaw: "Everything you do in life should be for fun."
Bradshaw was the most dynamic speaker there. He held the whole audience in the palm of his hand, and he was absolutely on fire for the entire speech. He was funny and unpredictable, but more than anything else he was passionate. For 30 minutes, I wanted to be him. He looked like he was having fun doing exactly what he was made to do, and he was impacting people in the process. That's all I've ever wanted for my professional career. And that was kind of his focus. He kept saying that you have to find what your "it" is - whatever "it" is that you were made to do and that allows you to be passionate and have fun.
He also suggested a better strategy for getting out of bed in the morning than grumbling about the alarm clock. Instead, do three things:
1. Recognize that you're alive and that's a good thing
2. Be ready to say thank you to somebody, because no matter who you are or what you've done, you haven't done it alone.
3. Smile, because your day and the day of those around you will be so much better.
Cheesy advice, but sound. Waking up with gratitude and joy (regardless of circumstance) shouldn't be a revolutionary idea. But I know on the few days I begin in this mindset, I have a ten thousand times better chance at having fun and being effective.
2. From Zig Ziglar: "Build a Homecourt Advantage."
By Homecourt Advantage, what he meant was placing your home life as your top priority. It will be difficult to be truly effective at anything if that isn't true.
3. From Rudy Guliani: "Wedding discretionary, funeral necessary."
He said to imagine you have to choose between going to a wedding of a best friend or a funeral of a parent of a best friend. If you ever have to choose, choose the funeral. At a funeral, people need you more. As a leader, you should be where people need you, not where you're most likely to have fun. People need you more when things are wrong than when things are right. This philosophy should guide your time management: where do people most need me? If you know the answer to that, you know where you can be most effective.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Conference Reflections: Part 2
Rick Belluzo, former president of Microsoft, spoke as well about strategies for success. I share that advice below, paraphrased by me. I follow each piece of advice with my own brief commentary in italics.
1. You must see every day as an opportunity to have a lasting impact. Every job and every assignment matters, because you come into contact with others who could be potentially impacted by your actions.
I often find this exceptionally difficult as a teacher. There are many days I don't want to approach one of my English classes as if it has lasting significance. There are certainly a majority of professional development hoops to jump through that I don't want to believe matter. But I'm around people constantly. My actions speak about me daily, as do all of yours. I have little control over which actions will be remembered by which kid, parent, or co-worker. Every day, therefore, must be excellent. Because when my impact ceases to matter to me, I cease to be relevant. To say, "I could care less what other people think" is a cop out.
2. Take on tough assignments. Tough assignments will provide opportunities for personal growth.
Too many days I don't want to grow. I want to be comfortable. But I also want to be seen as an irreplacable commodity. Those two desires can't co-exist.
3. Be self-aware - seek to find what you're bad at. Don't be oblivious to what's going on around you or to how people see you.
I know very few people who are good at this. I am embarrassed for the ones who don't know their weaknesses, and I have huge respect for those who do. It's exceptionally difficult to be honest about our own weaknesses or to care enough to ask others what they are. But when I think about the frustration I feel when in the midst of those who are oblivous, I see the necessity of developing this skill.
4. The key to perseverance: knowing where you're going. You must have a clearly defined, worthwhile goal that is the reason for overcoming obstacles. Without knowing where you're going, overcoming obstacles simply won't be worth it.
5. Maintain integrity by being hard-headed and soft-hearted. Be hard-headed with your priorities and values, but be soft-hearted with people.
Numbers 4 & 5 go hand in hand. Know your priorities and values. Allow them to guide you daily in what you do/don't do, overcome/abandon, and your interactions with people. I see myself as hard-headed. Perhaps the beginning of my weakness-seeking is the understanding that I lack soft-heartedness.
Just some ideas to share with you. More to come later in the week.
1. You must see every day as an opportunity to have a lasting impact. Every job and every assignment matters, because you come into contact with others who could be potentially impacted by your actions.
I often find this exceptionally difficult as a teacher. There are many days I don't want to approach one of my English classes as if it has lasting significance. There are certainly a majority of professional development hoops to jump through that I don't want to believe matter. But I'm around people constantly. My actions speak about me daily, as do all of yours. I have little control over which actions will be remembered by which kid, parent, or co-worker. Every day, therefore, must be excellent. Because when my impact ceases to matter to me, I cease to be relevant. To say, "I could care less what other people think" is a cop out.
2. Take on tough assignments. Tough assignments will provide opportunities for personal growth.
Too many days I don't want to grow. I want to be comfortable. But I also want to be seen as an irreplacable commodity. Those two desires can't co-exist.
3. Be self-aware - seek to find what you're bad at. Don't be oblivious to what's going on around you or to how people see you.
I know very few people who are good at this. I am embarrassed for the ones who don't know their weaknesses, and I have huge respect for those who do. It's exceptionally difficult to be honest about our own weaknesses or to care enough to ask others what they are. But when I think about the frustration I feel when in the midst of those who are oblivous, I see the necessity of developing this skill.
4. The key to perseverance: knowing where you're going. You must have a clearly defined, worthwhile goal that is the reason for overcoming obstacles. Without knowing where you're going, overcoming obstacles simply won't be worth it.
5. Maintain integrity by being hard-headed and soft-hearted. Be hard-headed with your priorities and values, but be soft-hearted with people.
Numbers 4 & 5 go hand in hand. Know your priorities and values. Allow them to guide you daily in what you do/don't do, overcome/abandon, and your interactions with people. I see myself as hard-headed. Perhaps the beginning of my weakness-seeking is the understanding that I lack soft-heartedness.
Just some ideas to share with you. More to come later in the week.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Conference Reflections: Part 1
I spent much of the last week involved in a field trip I finally got approved to take students to a "Get Motivated" seminar in Des Moines. Speakers at the conference included Laura Bush, Collin Powell, Terry Bradshaw, Rudy Guliani, Rick Belluzo, Zig Ziglar, Robert Schuller, and others. I was ecstatic to finally get permission, and so were the kids. The trip was on Thursday, and I'm just now sitting down to review some of the notes I wrote down. Today's blog will be a reflection on the conference, and I anticipate several more posts to come regarding this.
The first speaker was Robert Schuller, a pastor, author, and inspirational speaker. One idea that I remember him emphasizing was to get the word "impossible" out of your vocabulary. Mostly this was in reference to creating a dream. He also said that the dreams that seem impossible are most likely from God, because "With man it is not possible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:24).
Essentially, the idea is to dream big. Don't settle for comfortable dreams. Dream big, persevere, and believe that God is big enough to help you accomplish goals He deems worthy.
I've always loved listening to people talk about the need for vision in your life or for whatever group you are leading. It's inspirational to hear stories of people who believed in something huge, and then they accomplished it after much work and determination. But I always walk away frustrated at the end. The bottom line is this - I just don't know what to dream.
This is probably more honest than I feel like being today, but I've written it so I'll continue. I hate this about myself, because I often see it as a glaring weakness. Any individual goal I've set out to achieve I've ultimately achieved in my lifetime, but how many of them were grand, bold dreams? As a fickle teenager seeking approval from the world, I sought to become an effective athlete. This was perhaps my biggest dream considering the sheer lack of athleticism and ability I began with. I accomplished the goal. In college I wanted to have the top grades in my classes and become exceptionally marketable. Mission accomplished. Then I wanted a graduate degree and to obtain National Board Certification. Done and done. I wanted to run a marathon and hike to the top of Pike's Peak. I got to the finish line both times. And here I am, going after another degree. I look at this list, and it's nice, but does any of it really matter?
I'm stuck not knowing what grand dream to give my life to. Part of the problem is that I know that there is a cost to all dreams. Mostly, I'm afraid of it costing me time with my wife and daughter. And because I enjoy having time to sit on my porch steps blowing bubbles with my daughter or sit next to my wife on the couch watching "The Office" episodes, I don't feel like I'm wasting my life away.
But it's bothersome to not have a dream. John C. Maxwell defines a dream as "an inspiring picture of the future that energizes your mind, will, and emotion, empowering you to do everything you can to achieve it." I have no picture. I have nothing I am seeking to ultimately achieve.
I have priorities that suggest what my daily actions should be. I've at least got those to guide me, to help me evaluate how I spend my time. I don't feel like I'm wasting my life or leading a pointless existence. I feel good most of the time about what I do day to day (my Nutty Bar addiction aside). I just don't have that grand vision. And I fear the ability to accomplish great things without it.
The first speaker was Robert Schuller, a pastor, author, and inspirational speaker. One idea that I remember him emphasizing was to get the word "impossible" out of your vocabulary. Mostly this was in reference to creating a dream. He also said that the dreams that seem impossible are most likely from God, because "With man it is not possible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:24).
Essentially, the idea is to dream big. Don't settle for comfortable dreams. Dream big, persevere, and believe that God is big enough to help you accomplish goals He deems worthy.
I've always loved listening to people talk about the need for vision in your life or for whatever group you are leading. It's inspirational to hear stories of people who believed in something huge, and then they accomplished it after much work and determination. But I always walk away frustrated at the end. The bottom line is this - I just don't know what to dream.
This is probably more honest than I feel like being today, but I've written it so I'll continue. I hate this about myself, because I often see it as a glaring weakness. Any individual goal I've set out to achieve I've ultimately achieved in my lifetime, but how many of them were grand, bold dreams? As a fickle teenager seeking approval from the world, I sought to become an effective athlete. This was perhaps my biggest dream considering the sheer lack of athleticism and ability I began with. I accomplished the goal. In college I wanted to have the top grades in my classes and become exceptionally marketable. Mission accomplished. Then I wanted a graduate degree and to obtain National Board Certification. Done and done. I wanted to run a marathon and hike to the top of Pike's Peak. I got to the finish line both times. And here I am, going after another degree. I look at this list, and it's nice, but does any of it really matter?
I'm stuck not knowing what grand dream to give my life to. Part of the problem is that I know that there is a cost to all dreams. Mostly, I'm afraid of it costing me time with my wife and daughter. And because I enjoy having time to sit on my porch steps blowing bubbles with my daughter or sit next to my wife on the couch watching "The Office" episodes, I don't feel like I'm wasting my life away.
But it's bothersome to not have a dream. John C. Maxwell defines a dream as "an inspiring picture of the future that energizes your mind, will, and emotion, empowering you to do everything you can to achieve it." I have no picture. I have nothing I am seeking to ultimately achieve.
I have priorities that suggest what my daily actions should be. I've at least got those to guide me, to help me evaluate how I spend my time. I don't feel like I'm wasting my life or leading a pointless existence. I feel good most of the time about what I do day to day (my Nutty Bar addiction aside). I just don't have that grand vision. And I fear the ability to accomplish great things without it.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Lesson from Larry Littlebird
The course I'm taking this semester for my masters degree is called "Teaching Ethnic Literature." The unit we're on right now is Native American Lit, so I'm working through an anthology of short writings from Native Americans. In it I ran across an autobiographical essay in which the author, Larry Littlebird, recalls anticipating his first hunt with the tribe. The thing he wanted above all else was to kill a deer and prove himself worthy as a man in the tribe. He was in the hunting party, but he himself did not kill a deer. He then writes this:
“Killing a deer isn’t everything to hunting,” my uncles say. “Fasting and praying, a man works hard giving his self to the spirit the deer belongs to. We are only human, we cannot say what our giving should bring. Yes, we want badly to bring home that big buck; we can only work truthfully at doing that. The Creator will see our honesty; we must believe our reward will come about. There should be no disappointment.”
This stood out to me immdediately. I immediatley recognized the disappointment the author describes, because I've felt that disappointment. I also saw the rational advice I’ve been trying to get through my head and heart the past few years. I am only human, and I cannot control the gift I have to contribute. I can only work truthfully and with integrity, and I must believe my reward comes from that. It is not my place to harbor disappointment about my situation, but rather to do all I can where I am.
One of the things that the Bible teaches that I have a real hard time with is the fact that God doesn't need me. I've wanted so badly to earn my worth as a Christian by doing a job that only I could do. But that's not real. An omnipotent God doesn't need my work. God needs my devotion, something far more difficult to offer. It's also a blow to the ego, because essentially, I want to believe that I am of exceptional importance to the world. I want to believe society needs what I have to offer. I even want the pressure and responsibility of knowing that if I don't get done what God has called me to do, that job won't get done. But none of it's true.
I have the opportunity to do whatever of God's work is laid in front of me. The greatest benefit comes to me: I get to learn closeness to God. A secondary benefit is that hopefully I've made someone else's situation better in some way (whether it's through knowledge I share as a teacher, money I donate, help I provide, etc.). But it's not my job to tell God what I feel like doing or what I believe I would be good at. Moses tried that, and then I imagine he almost wet himself when God appeared in a flaming bush. Jonah tried that, and he became fish vomit. Peter tried it, and Christ referred to him as Satan.
Live well, serve well, and stay connected to the Creator. The lesson taught in those words and in this text as a whole is one that is not only applicable to me, but to all people of all worldviews. Do your work well. Passionately pursue the goals you’ve defined. Many times they will work out. Sometimes, however, they won’t. And when they don’t, you have to be prepared to embrace the quality of your work instead of the results.
“Killing a deer isn’t everything to hunting,” my uncles say. “Fasting and praying, a man works hard giving his self to the spirit the deer belongs to. We are only human, we cannot say what our giving should bring. Yes, we want badly to bring home that big buck; we can only work truthfully at doing that. The Creator will see our honesty; we must believe our reward will come about. There should be no disappointment.”
This stood out to me immdediately. I immediatley recognized the disappointment the author describes, because I've felt that disappointment. I also saw the rational advice I’ve been trying to get through my head and heart the past few years. I am only human, and I cannot control the gift I have to contribute. I can only work truthfully and with integrity, and I must believe my reward comes from that. It is not my place to harbor disappointment about my situation, but rather to do all I can where I am.
One of the things that the Bible teaches that I have a real hard time with is the fact that God doesn't need me. I've wanted so badly to earn my worth as a Christian by doing a job that only I could do. But that's not real. An omnipotent God doesn't need my work. God needs my devotion, something far more difficult to offer. It's also a blow to the ego, because essentially, I want to believe that I am of exceptional importance to the world. I want to believe society needs what I have to offer. I even want the pressure and responsibility of knowing that if I don't get done what God has called me to do, that job won't get done. But none of it's true.
I have the opportunity to do whatever of God's work is laid in front of me. The greatest benefit comes to me: I get to learn closeness to God. A secondary benefit is that hopefully I've made someone else's situation better in some way (whether it's through knowledge I share as a teacher, money I donate, help I provide, etc.). But it's not my job to tell God what I feel like doing or what I believe I would be good at. Moses tried that, and then I imagine he almost wet himself when God appeared in a flaming bush. Jonah tried that, and he became fish vomit. Peter tried it, and Christ referred to him as Satan.
Live well, serve well, and stay connected to the Creator. The lesson taught in those words and in this text as a whole is one that is not only applicable to me, but to all people of all worldviews. Do your work well. Passionately pursue the goals you’ve defined. Many times they will work out. Sometimes, however, they won’t. And when they don’t, you have to be prepared to embrace the quality of your work instead of the results.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
issues of morality
Sorry for the weeklong absence. I had a houseful of people for Labor Day weekend, and my daughter's birthday was yesterday. I'm back to what I hope is a regular routine of writing. Tonight I touch on the issue of morality as it has come up in the last week.
I held a class discussion with my Modern American Literature course last week regarding a Mark Twain essay in which Twain criticizes humankind for their evil behavior by comparing them unfavorably to the actions of other animals. The class is comprised of juniors and seniors, and they are often eager to be honest. The conversation was one about morality and the inherent goodness of people. I heard several interesting statements.
Perhaps one of the most common and surprising things I heard from these students is that they routinely do things they know are morally wrong. They admitted to commonly going against their morals in order to gain personally. Many even said there is a certain emotional rush or “high” from doing something wrong and getting away with it.
Their end conclusion from the discussion is that humans are selfish and greedy. They weren’t, however, ready to say that those two qualities were evil. Many felt very comfortable stating that the only responsibility anyone has is to themselves.
Today I had a colleague suggest that I take a sick day to do something I wanted to do that I couldn't get approval for from my bosses. I replied that morally I couldn't tell my daughter that lying is wrong if I was willing to engage in the behavior myself. She felt that while lying is usually wrong, in this case, the ends justified the means. If my bosses were going to be irrational, I had a right to do as I pleased. She also suggested that a lot of people are doing far worse things in the world.
In both of these scenarios, the only driving factor when individuals make "moral" choices seems to be self-interest. Right and wrong fits neatly around personal desires. Tonight, President Obama referred to his health care reform as a "moral" issue. I fear, if he's the same as the rest of us, that simply means it's an issue in which he seeking his own personal or political gain. Just as Republicans have for so many years by claiming to have a monolopy on issues of "morality."
All of this leads me to a greater faith in a Christian worldview. Man is by nature evil. The only redemption that can occur is through a Savior. And through Christ we not only gain salvation, but we also gain the ability to care more about seeking truth and purity in morality than we do in self-preservation.
To the best of my understanding, the explanation for the existence of a concience and the idea of morality from those who believe there is no God is that it evolved as a way of furthering the species. My problem with that is I just don't see a great desire in most humans to further the species - I see a great desire to further personal comfort. Right and wrong is arbitrary based on what an individual wants, not on how to better mankind.
A final word on morality from my reading tonight. King David is a man put on a pedestal in most Christian circles. David, however, had one major selfish, immoral act recorded in Scripture. David had a man killed because he wanted to get with his wife. Then he got called out on it. The prophet Nathan informed him that despite his best efforts to hide this black deed, God had seen it. Most of us, when called out about a wrongdoing, have a quick response of defensiveness or excuses. David did not. David wrote:
"Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners shall be converted to you."
He didn't say: "Others have done worse. I'm a good person. I'll be forgiven." He said, "I need you to fix this dirt in my sinful nature. And while you're at it, God, use this ugly sin to convert other sinners like myself to you, my source of joy."
I have many black deeds on my own record. I pray for all of us the purity and strength David requested.
I held a class discussion with my Modern American Literature course last week regarding a Mark Twain essay in which Twain criticizes humankind for their evil behavior by comparing them unfavorably to the actions of other animals. The class is comprised of juniors and seniors, and they are often eager to be honest. The conversation was one about morality and the inherent goodness of people. I heard several interesting statements.
Perhaps one of the most common and surprising things I heard from these students is that they routinely do things they know are morally wrong. They admitted to commonly going against their morals in order to gain personally. Many even said there is a certain emotional rush or “high” from doing something wrong and getting away with it.
Their end conclusion from the discussion is that humans are selfish and greedy. They weren’t, however, ready to say that those two qualities were evil. Many felt very comfortable stating that the only responsibility anyone has is to themselves.
Today I had a colleague suggest that I take a sick day to do something I wanted to do that I couldn't get approval for from my bosses. I replied that morally I couldn't tell my daughter that lying is wrong if I was willing to engage in the behavior myself. She felt that while lying is usually wrong, in this case, the ends justified the means. If my bosses were going to be irrational, I had a right to do as I pleased. She also suggested that a lot of people are doing far worse things in the world.
In both of these scenarios, the only driving factor when individuals make "moral" choices seems to be self-interest. Right and wrong fits neatly around personal desires. Tonight, President Obama referred to his health care reform as a "moral" issue. I fear, if he's the same as the rest of us, that simply means it's an issue in which he seeking his own personal or political gain. Just as Republicans have for so many years by claiming to have a monolopy on issues of "morality."
All of this leads me to a greater faith in a Christian worldview. Man is by nature evil. The only redemption that can occur is through a Savior. And through Christ we not only gain salvation, but we also gain the ability to care more about seeking truth and purity in morality than we do in self-preservation.
To the best of my understanding, the explanation for the existence of a concience and the idea of morality from those who believe there is no God is that it evolved as a way of furthering the species. My problem with that is I just don't see a great desire in most humans to further the species - I see a great desire to further personal comfort. Right and wrong is arbitrary based on what an individual wants, not on how to better mankind.
A final word on morality from my reading tonight. King David is a man put on a pedestal in most Christian circles. David, however, had one major selfish, immoral act recorded in Scripture. David had a man killed because he wanted to get with his wife. Then he got called out on it. The prophet Nathan informed him that despite his best efforts to hide this black deed, God had seen it. Most of us, when called out about a wrongdoing, have a quick response of defensiveness or excuses. David did not. David wrote:
"Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners shall be converted to you."
He didn't say: "Others have done worse. I'm a good person. I'll be forgiven." He said, "I need you to fix this dirt in my sinful nature. And while you're at it, God, use this ugly sin to convert other sinners like myself to you, my source of joy."
I have many black deeds on my own record. I pray for all of us the purity and strength David requested.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
To fret, or not to fret
Today I am learning about frustration.
For the past 2 weeks, I feel as if I've been given the runaround by my adminstration regarding a conference I've requested permission to attend. I feel I've been knowingly deceived. The issue culminated in an email I received this evening, which further offended me as a professional. I'm not going to lie - it's 10:20 PM and I'm full of anger right now. It will be difficult to go to sleep after feeling like this so late into the night.
The thing is, in the whole scheme of things, I realize that this is not that big of deal. Me not going to the conference will not bring about Armaggedon, and me being deceived is not exactly new. I feel a little guilty spending this much emotion on this (it's been building all day), when I know that I'm healthy and have everything in the world that I could need.
However, I think I know where the emotion comes from. I've felt it before. It has nothing to do with the size and scale of what I'm not being allowed to do. It has everything to do with being let down, with being told that something you thought was possible in an area of your life that is a huge priority for you is no longer possible.
I felt this way the first time I learned that many decisions made in education are based on politics, convenience, and punishments, not on common sense. When going through teacher education programs, we're all filled with romantic nonsense about how education is a magical land of elevated morals, a noble profession full of noble decisions. And so I, like so many other young teachers I'm sure, poured myself into the professional whole-heartedly. The day the curtain came crashing down on that idealistic world was a day of huge disappointment.
Whatever event pushed me over the edge into a place where I could see reality I'm sure wasn't a matter of life and death. But it was a matter of death to the idea I had for the possibilities of our education system. Education is a system run by humans, all of whom are flawed. And you can't know that until several events beat that reality into you.
I feel the same way today. Yes, I've been reminded that the educational hierarchy is broken. But my disappointment more comes from not being able to believe that I can have an open relationship with some of the people I work for. It comes from no longer believing that I should pursue a loftier vision for my work environment.
None of this makes education bad. If it were bad, I wouldn't be in it. I love teaching. But I can love teaching without believing things are as they should be.
I remember a few days ago I read in one of the Psalms the command, "Do not fret - it only causes harm." I've got no problem obeying and embracing most Biblical commands. This one hasn't been going so well this week. I've been fretting all over the place, about this and other things. I'm not sure it's done me any good.
Tomorrow I must go and serve students, not my anger. I am a professional, which is why I can do that. And I profess to follow Christ, which is why I must do that.
For the past 2 weeks, I feel as if I've been given the runaround by my adminstration regarding a conference I've requested permission to attend. I feel I've been knowingly deceived. The issue culminated in an email I received this evening, which further offended me as a professional. I'm not going to lie - it's 10:20 PM and I'm full of anger right now. It will be difficult to go to sleep after feeling like this so late into the night.
The thing is, in the whole scheme of things, I realize that this is not that big of deal. Me not going to the conference will not bring about Armaggedon, and me being deceived is not exactly new. I feel a little guilty spending this much emotion on this (it's been building all day), when I know that I'm healthy and have everything in the world that I could need.
However, I think I know where the emotion comes from. I've felt it before. It has nothing to do with the size and scale of what I'm not being allowed to do. It has everything to do with being let down, with being told that something you thought was possible in an area of your life that is a huge priority for you is no longer possible.
I felt this way the first time I learned that many decisions made in education are based on politics, convenience, and punishments, not on common sense. When going through teacher education programs, we're all filled with romantic nonsense about how education is a magical land of elevated morals, a noble profession full of noble decisions. And so I, like so many other young teachers I'm sure, poured myself into the professional whole-heartedly. The day the curtain came crashing down on that idealistic world was a day of huge disappointment.
Whatever event pushed me over the edge into a place where I could see reality I'm sure wasn't a matter of life and death. But it was a matter of death to the idea I had for the possibilities of our education system. Education is a system run by humans, all of whom are flawed. And you can't know that until several events beat that reality into you.
I feel the same way today. Yes, I've been reminded that the educational hierarchy is broken. But my disappointment more comes from not being able to believe that I can have an open relationship with some of the people I work for. It comes from no longer believing that I should pursue a loftier vision for my work environment.
None of this makes education bad. If it were bad, I wouldn't be in it. I love teaching. But I can love teaching without believing things are as they should be.
I remember a few days ago I read in one of the Psalms the command, "Do not fret - it only causes harm." I've got no problem obeying and embracing most Biblical commands. This one hasn't been going so well this week. I've been fretting all over the place, about this and other things. I'm not sure it's done me any good.
Tomorrow I must go and serve students, not my anger. I am a professional, which is why I can do that. And I profess to follow Christ, which is why I must do that.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
An early grade for myself
I've been at work now in the school year for two weeks, and it's time for some reflection. I began the year with lofty goals in terms of my approach and perspective, and I must look inward consistently if I am to intentional about accomplishing those goals. Looking back, here's what I've noticed about myself:
1. The busier I get, the more me-centered I get in my perspective. Everything seemed to happen at once over the last two weeks. School started, taking up 8 hours of my day. My grad class started, and I finally saw my course syllabus indicating a harsh workload over the next 4 months. I agreed to take on a position of organizing Sunday School for high school students at our church. None of this is bad. But I spent the last two weeks feeling busy, and I fear I allow myself to be more critical of temporal things and less grateful for eternal gifts when that happens. In short, my perspective began to suck. I've got to adjust that in some way.
2. My best hours go to my job. That means my wife and daughter get whatever leftover energy I have. I don't like that at all, and I don't know how to fix that.
3. I've done a better job up to this point of reaching out to my co-workers, especially those with whom I've traditionally disagreed. I'm less likely to avoid people with whom I have no relationship (or worse, a bad one).
4. I've done a poor job of thinking well of my bosses when I disagree with them.
5. I've been too tired to keep myself spiritually and physically healthy. This week, I worked out zero times (goal is 4 a week). I got zero blog posts written (hoping for 2-3 a week). I read the Bible and formally prayed on one evening (should be daily). I was encouraged last night, though, listening to a fellow teacher talk at a party. She said it's just like getting yourself back into shape for a sports season. You're not in game shape right away; that takes awhile. I love the analogy, and I think it's true. I'm definitely not in game shape right now, but I'll get there. In the mean time, it will be a challenge (but a necessity) to stay healthy.
The journey continues tomorrow. . .
1. The busier I get, the more me-centered I get in my perspective. Everything seemed to happen at once over the last two weeks. School started, taking up 8 hours of my day. My grad class started, and I finally saw my course syllabus indicating a harsh workload over the next 4 months. I agreed to take on a position of organizing Sunday School for high school students at our church. None of this is bad. But I spent the last two weeks feeling busy, and I fear I allow myself to be more critical of temporal things and less grateful for eternal gifts when that happens. In short, my perspective began to suck. I've got to adjust that in some way.
2. My best hours go to my job. That means my wife and daughter get whatever leftover energy I have. I don't like that at all, and I don't know how to fix that.
3. I've done a better job up to this point of reaching out to my co-workers, especially those with whom I've traditionally disagreed. I'm less likely to avoid people with whom I have no relationship (or worse, a bad one).
4. I've done a poor job of thinking well of my bosses when I disagree with them.
5. I've been too tired to keep myself spiritually and physically healthy. This week, I worked out zero times (goal is 4 a week). I got zero blog posts written (hoping for 2-3 a week). I read the Bible and formally prayed on one evening (should be daily). I was encouraged last night, though, listening to a fellow teacher talk at a party. She said it's just like getting yourself back into shape for a sports season. You're not in game shape right away; that takes awhile. I love the analogy, and I think it's true. I'm definitely not in game shape right now, but I'll get there. In the mean time, it will be a challenge (but a necessity) to stay healthy.
The journey continues tomorrow. . .
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Dangerous Words of Inclusion
I didn't plan on writing two posts today, but then I read the Des Moines Register and found some of the most dangerous and reckless words I think are possible. (see article: http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20090823/NEWS/908230354/1001&theme=/apps/pbcs.dll/oversikt?Dato=20090823Kategori=NEWS)
The article is about the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America's national assembly voting to allow sexually active homosexuals to be clergy in the church. And I want to begin this post by saying this isn't a post about homosexuality or gay marriage or culture wars. This post is about passionate faith.
The article quoted leaders and other members of the ELCA in support of this, and this is where I find the troubling statements:
1) "We have to acknowledge there are a variety of ways to interpret Scripture. Where we get in trouble is when someone says their's is the only way."
2) "The way that I interpret Scripture. . ."
3) "I just feel we need to be inclusive. . . It's about equality and honoring all people."
To number 1 & 2 above:
There are not a variety of ways to interpret Scripture. You can read it and decide it's true, or you can dismiss it. There is no responsible way to be in between. The Bible specifically discusses active homosexuality as a sin. To choose to ignore that part is effectively creating God in the image an individual wants God. You simply cannot pick and choose based on what you like. If you are a Christian (definition: Christ-follower), the Bible is fact. It is not to be altered. If you don't want to follow all of it, don't call yourself a Christian. Be a Buddhist, a Muslim, an atheist, or create your own title for what you are. But you can't have it both ways.
Are there difficult parts of the Bible? Absolutely. There are parts I didn't like for the longest time. No sex outside of marriage, for instance. Or the fact that God is sovereign, and that means he allows some awful things to happen to people when he could prevent it. Or the whole, "Love your enemy / Turn the other cheek / Forgive 70 times 7 times" idea. There are days I want to hold onto my hate, get even, or at the very least, complain to whoever will listen. Even homosexuality as a sin is burdensome. Wouldn't it be so much more convenient and easier to get people to follow Christ if they were allowed to live however they wanted?
But when I decided that Christ is in fact God, then the Bible became fact to me. I developed a passion and love for its words, even the parts I didn't understand or didn't like. Anything else would be lukewarm, convenient faith. And that would be a tragedy, for every individual, regardless of what they believe. I pray that those reading believe Christ or would come to believe Christ. But if you don't, don't carry around the title of Christian.
In Response to Number 3:
Inclusive? Really? Christ was anything but inclusive. Christ was demanding towards those who claimed they wanted to follow him. Therefore, I really don't think that the best place for "inclusion" is in choosing leaders for the church.
This is not a gay/straight issue. This is a sin issue. I don't believe anyone knowingly and remorselessly engaging in sin is fit to lead a congregation. If a man is not passionately seeking to love his wife sacrificially every day, I don't think he's fit to lead. Same with an individual who isn't married but is having sex. Same with someone driven by pride, regardless of how much good comes from the work from which they seek to put themselves on a platform. There are no perfect people. But a leader of a church should be repentant of the sin in their life and working towards Christ-likeness. A leader should be seeking to eradicate any way their life isn't Biblical. Is this demanding? Absolutely. And leadership should be demanding.
I pray I am writing this in humility and in reverence to the text I hold dearer than any other. I'm not trying to win an argument. I just don't believe lukewarm faith in anything is good for anyone. And I especially think it's dangerous for those who claim Christ.
The article is about the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America's national assembly voting to allow sexually active homosexuals to be clergy in the church. And I want to begin this post by saying this isn't a post about homosexuality or gay marriage or culture wars. This post is about passionate faith.
The article quoted leaders and other members of the ELCA in support of this, and this is where I find the troubling statements:
1) "We have to acknowledge there are a variety of ways to interpret Scripture. Where we get in trouble is when someone says their's is the only way."
2) "The way that I interpret Scripture. . ."
3) "I just feel we need to be inclusive. . . It's about equality and honoring all people."
To number 1 & 2 above:
There are not a variety of ways to interpret Scripture. You can read it and decide it's true, or you can dismiss it. There is no responsible way to be in between. The Bible specifically discusses active homosexuality as a sin. To choose to ignore that part is effectively creating God in the image an individual wants God. You simply cannot pick and choose based on what you like. If you are a Christian (definition: Christ-follower), the Bible is fact. It is not to be altered. If you don't want to follow all of it, don't call yourself a Christian. Be a Buddhist, a Muslim, an atheist, or create your own title for what you are. But you can't have it both ways.
Are there difficult parts of the Bible? Absolutely. There are parts I didn't like for the longest time. No sex outside of marriage, for instance. Or the fact that God is sovereign, and that means he allows some awful things to happen to people when he could prevent it. Or the whole, "Love your enemy / Turn the other cheek / Forgive 70 times 7 times" idea. There are days I want to hold onto my hate, get even, or at the very least, complain to whoever will listen. Even homosexuality as a sin is burdensome. Wouldn't it be so much more convenient and easier to get people to follow Christ if they were allowed to live however they wanted?
But when I decided that Christ is in fact God, then the Bible became fact to me. I developed a passion and love for its words, even the parts I didn't understand or didn't like. Anything else would be lukewarm, convenient faith. And that would be a tragedy, for every individual, regardless of what they believe. I pray that those reading believe Christ or would come to believe Christ. But if you don't, don't carry around the title of Christian.
In Response to Number 3:
Inclusive? Really? Christ was anything but inclusive. Christ was demanding towards those who claimed they wanted to follow him. Therefore, I really don't think that the best place for "inclusion" is in choosing leaders for the church.
This is not a gay/straight issue. This is a sin issue. I don't believe anyone knowingly and remorselessly engaging in sin is fit to lead a congregation. If a man is not passionately seeking to love his wife sacrificially every day, I don't think he's fit to lead. Same with an individual who isn't married but is having sex. Same with someone driven by pride, regardless of how much good comes from the work from which they seek to put themselves on a platform. There are no perfect people. But a leader of a church should be repentant of the sin in their life and working towards Christ-likeness. A leader should be seeking to eradicate any way their life isn't Biblical. Is this demanding? Absolutely. And leadership should be demanding.
I pray I am writing this in humility and in reverence to the text I hold dearer than any other. I'm not trying to win an argument. I just don't believe lukewarm faith in anything is good for anyone. And I especially think it's dangerous for those who claim Christ.
More on Sports
I watched the film Gridiron Gang on Friday night. It's a film that I thought looked a little too cheesy in spots when I saw the previews, but thanks to the invention of Netflix, I can give films like that a shot with little loss. Former professional wrestler The Rock stars as a juvenile detention center worker who decides to create a football team with the "inmates" to try to teach them life skills. And it is cheesy in spots - my guess is The Rock had to really hold in his laughter during some of his "inspirational" pep talks. It was entertaining, though, and certainly worth my weekly Netflix choice. Also, it reminded me of what I now consider the most important truth about life I learned from playing sports.
That vital idea is the importance of shared life experience in building relationships. The concept is not found only in athletics; it's just the first place I learned it. Through sports, especially football, I grew close to people who were nothing like me and who I never would have picked as friends. Because we spent days going through difficult practices together, and our Friday nights were spent fighting for the same goal, we became close. We developed relationships. I still have many of them today.
That idea has continued to prove itself throughout my life. The people I've developed close relationships with have been people with whom I've shared a signficant amount of life experiences. As I look at those people, I realize that a majority of them don't agree with me on a number of things. Over half have a significantly different worldview and believe very different things about God (or his absence in the world).
The application of this idea for adults now, especially for those who claim Christianity and the goal of showing the love and power of God to those who don't see it, is that we will have a much bigger chance to have that impact through shared life experience. And I'm not sure Christians have a great reputation for seeking shared experiences with non-Christians. Christ did.
I believe there is also a great deal to be gained from those who think differently, especially an understanding of their perspective. Too often those with whom we disagree are the enemy, and we attempt to have a contest about who can shout the loudest (usually through newspapers, media, or in one-sided conversations in which we mock this "enemy" where they won't hear and won't get a chance to respond).
I don't want to sound like I believe "inclusion" is an answer for Christians. I'll write more on that in my next post. I simply believe what a lifetime of experience (especially in athletics as both a coach and player) has taught me - deep relationships come from intense shared life experiences.
That vital idea is the importance of shared life experience in building relationships. The concept is not found only in athletics; it's just the first place I learned it. Through sports, especially football, I grew close to people who were nothing like me and who I never would have picked as friends. Because we spent days going through difficult practices together, and our Friday nights were spent fighting for the same goal, we became close. We developed relationships. I still have many of them today.
That idea has continued to prove itself throughout my life. The people I've developed close relationships with have been people with whom I've shared a signficant amount of life experiences. As I look at those people, I realize that a majority of them don't agree with me on a number of things. Over half have a significantly different worldview and believe very different things about God (or his absence in the world).
The application of this idea for adults now, especially for those who claim Christianity and the goal of showing the love and power of God to those who don't see it, is that we will have a much bigger chance to have that impact through shared life experience. And I'm not sure Christians have a great reputation for seeking shared experiences with non-Christians. Christ did.
I believe there is also a great deal to be gained from those who think differently, especially an understanding of their perspective. Too often those with whom we disagree are the enemy, and we attempt to have a contest about who can shout the loudest (usually through newspapers, media, or in one-sided conversations in which we mock this "enemy" where they won't hear and won't get a chance to respond).
I don't want to sound like I believe "inclusion" is an answer for Christians. I'll write more on that in my next post. I simply believe what a lifetime of experience (especially in athletics as both a coach and player) has taught me - deep relationships come from intense shared life experiences.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Today's thoughts on HS athletics
Last night was a rewarding night for me. Three players that I coached when I was a head coach two years ago stopped by my house to see me before they went to college. They left for the University of Iowa today. I didn't coach them or teach them in their final two years of high school, but we've maintained a relationship in the interim. I'm not sure what they learned from me in the two years I coached them and had them in the classroom; but at the very least I think they learned that they could trust me to talk to and treat them like real people, and that they could do the same with me. We didn't talk about anything important last night; but we were talking, and I think that's the important thing.
I'm having fewer and fewer of these conversations now that I'm not a head coach. And I miss them. As a freshman coach now, I only get to have the athletes for one season. Many of them I don't ever teach in the classroom. Whatever lessons I have for them (or trust I try to build) is limited to a 4 month time period. I have some players from my time here at Mason City who have made it a point to voluntarily converse with me, but the number is smaller than it was when I had the influence of a head coach.
I spoke with a football coaching friend of my this week. He's a head coach, and he's got a plan. He's tired of seeing some of the attitudes he often faces with high school athletes, and he realizes he has a voice as their head coach. He's created a list of around 10 life skills that he wants to emphasize this year with his players. Things like accountability, respect, leadership, etc. And he's really going to teach them. He's not going to post them on a wall as window dressing. He's not going to mention them one day and hope it sinks in. Because he realizes that coaches only get what they emphasize, he plans to take practice time each day to focus on one of these traits and how to improve it. He also wants to spread this to the junior high and elementary students in the district, providing their teachers with short lesson plans for class on Friday's for them to discuss the character trait being emphasized that week by the football players.
I've become a bit disillusioned by high school sports as of late. Maybe even for the past couple of years. That's likely surprising coming from a high school coach, but it's true. Often it's tough to see what the payoff is for kids or adults. I see kids being taught to love personal glory and love the cheers of people they don't know. I see adults pouring out emotion in fairly unhealthy ways in an attempt to see wins. I see tons of money influencing so many aspects of athletics. I see athletes (of all ages) being asked to spend hundreds of hours year round focusing on their sport. All for what? What's the payoff? In the scheme of things, what is being gained?
I'm jealous of the football coach mentioned above, because he is getting to produce some real gains in people. He has that opportunity. He's got a lot of similar ideas to what I've done or wanted to do as a head coach, and he's doing them. He's making it worthwhile for the adults involved, for the players, and for the community. He's making sports matter. I miss that job a lot.
I don't know why I don't get to be a head coach right now. It's tough to believe I can have as much influence without the opportunities that position afforded me. As a believer in an omnipotent and sovereign God, I've got to believe there is a reason. That doesn't mean I have to like it. I can only go about seeking excellence (as discussed in an earlier post) in the situations I'm granted now.
I've reread what I've written above twice now, and I can't seem to find a conclusion to write. Maybe that's because there is none. It's tough to have a nice neat ending to a writing about real life. Especially in a writing that meanders as much as this post. I guess the conclusion is I do believe sports can be important, and I do believe that responsibility and opportunity is often mismanaged at many levels. And right now I have no idea what my place is in any of it.
I'm having fewer and fewer of these conversations now that I'm not a head coach. And I miss them. As a freshman coach now, I only get to have the athletes for one season. Many of them I don't ever teach in the classroom. Whatever lessons I have for them (or trust I try to build) is limited to a 4 month time period. I have some players from my time here at Mason City who have made it a point to voluntarily converse with me, but the number is smaller than it was when I had the influence of a head coach.
I spoke with a football coaching friend of my this week. He's a head coach, and he's got a plan. He's tired of seeing some of the attitudes he often faces with high school athletes, and he realizes he has a voice as their head coach. He's created a list of around 10 life skills that he wants to emphasize this year with his players. Things like accountability, respect, leadership, etc. And he's really going to teach them. He's not going to post them on a wall as window dressing. He's not going to mention them one day and hope it sinks in. Because he realizes that coaches only get what they emphasize, he plans to take practice time each day to focus on one of these traits and how to improve it. He also wants to spread this to the junior high and elementary students in the district, providing their teachers with short lesson plans for class on Friday's for them to discuss the character trait being emphasized that week by the football players.
I've become a bit disillusioned by high school sports as of late. Maybe even for the past couple of years. That's likely surprising coming from a high school coach, but it's true. Often it's tough to see what the payoff is for kids or adults. I see kids being taught to love personal glory and love the cheers of people they don't know. I see adults pouring out emotion in fairly unhealthy ways in an attempt to see wins. I see tons of money influencing so many aspects of athletics. I see athletes (of all ages) being asked to spend hundreds of hours year round focusing on their sport. All for what? What's the payoff? In the scheme of things, what is being gained?
I'm jealous of the football coach mentioned above, because he is getting to produce some real gains in people. He has that opportunity. He's got a lot of similar ideas to what I've done or wanted to do as a head coach, and he's doing them. He's making it worthwhile for the adults involved, for the players, and for the community. He's making sports matter. I miss that job a lot.
I don't know why I don't get to be a head coach right now. It's tough to believe I can have as much influence without the opportunities that position afforded me. As a believer in an omnipotent and sovereign God, I've got to believe there is a reason. That doesn't mean I have to like it. I can only go about seeking excellence (as discussed in an earlier post) in the situations I'm granted now.
I've reread what I've written above twice now, and I can't seem to find a conclusion to write. Maybe that's because there is none. It's tough to have a nice neat ending to a writing about real life. Especially in a writing that meanders as much as this post. I guess the conclusion is I do believe sports can be important, and I do believe that responsibility and opportunity is often mismanaged at many levels. And right now I have no idea what my place is in any of it.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
My great challenge
I don’t want to come off in this post sounding like I hate being around people. I love being around people. I just love controlling which people I’m around. Meeting new people is not something I’m great at or excited about, and I’m almost obsessive at times about controlling my environment when at all possible. I enjoy being around others, I really do – they just have to be ones who are just like me or who I find to be interesting. (That’s sound awful as I write it, but it is what it is. I didn’t start this blog to be politically correct, but to be honest.)
Having said that, tomorrow marks a great challenge for me. For the past two and a half months, I really haven’t had to see any people that I didn’t voluntarily want to see. June, July and August are major perks for teachers. Ninety percent of my energy over that period of time has been spent with my soon to be two year old daughter.
Highlights have included:
- several visits to YouTube for videos of Kermit, Cookie Monster, Ernie and Elmo hopping, eating, counting, singing, and dancing on the moon
- blowing bubbles, lots of blowing bubbles
- hiking with Coach, our yellow lab
- napping
- reading about Spot the dog, some very excited hippos, a cat that can’t seem to stay out of trouble, and many farm animals making noise.
It’s been one of the best summers of my life. Also, I’ve found more peace than in years past. I’ve read and studied a lot, written some, and I feel like I’ve got as good of perspective on life as I have had in a while. Tomorrow I find out how solid of a foundation that peace and perspective is standing on.
Tomorrow the school year starts for me. That means people. Lots and lots of people. People who don’t love we with the same passion that my wife and daughter and dog do. People who aren’t looking for ways to make my life better. And many people I don’t agree with. It’s easy to maintain a loving, Christ-like attitude towards others when you don’t have to be around them. Tomorrow I actually have to be around them.
Most challenging for me, as I’m sure it is for many of you, is showing love to those who have wronged me in some way. Or those whose actions I don’t respect. Especially those in positions of authority or leadership. And there are some in positions of authority to me who I feel have been deceptive and reckless.
Teachers are excellent at complaining, especially with other teachers. And I am no different. In fact, I’ve had a couple of conversations with fellow educators in the weeks leading up to the beginning of the school year, and I’ve already found myself falling into a “Shannon must be comfortable”-centered attitude in those discussions. It is a trait, if I believe any of the things I say I believe, that must be changed.
In a sermon I heard recently by John MacArthur (http://www.gty.org/Resources/Sermons/42-87), he explains that in a world full of different religions and many who don’t believe in any God, perhaps the best way for Christians to gain credibility is through love. But it’s got to be supernatural, God-inspired and strengthened love. The entire world loves those who are nice to them, those who agree with them. The calling for Christ-followers is to be different. That calling is to deal with being wronged or disagreed with or just plain annoyed as a part of living in the world and as an opportunity to display a different kind of love. But it must be a real love, not a love motivated by the desire to be a “good Christian,” whatever that is.
Tomorrow the year begins. It’s like New Years Day for educators, and I’ve got a long list of resolutions. How effective will I be? I’ll keep you posted.
Having said that, tomorrow marks a great challenge for me. For the past two and a half months, I really haven’t had to see any people that I didn’t voluntarily want to see. June, July and August are major perks for teachers. Ninety percent of my energy over that period of time has been spent with my soon to be two year old daughter.
Highlights have included:
- several visits to YouTube for videos of Kermit, Cookie Monster, Ernie and Elmo hopping, eating, counting, singing, and dancing on the moon
- blowing bubbles, lots of blowing bubbles
- hiking with Coach, our yellow lab
- napping
- reading about Spot the dog, some very excited hippos, a cat that can’t seem to stay out of trouble, and many farm animals making noise.
It’s been one of the best summers of my life. Also, I’ve found more peace than in years past. I’ve read and studied a lot, written some, and I feel like I’ve got as good of perspective on life as I have had in a while. Tomorrow I find out how solid of a foundation that peace and perspective is standing on.
Tomorrow the school year starts for me. That means people. Lots and lots of people. People who don’t love we with the same passion that my wife and daughter and dog do. People who aren’t looking for ways to make my life better. And many people I don’t agree with. It’s easy to maintain a loving, Christ-like attitude towards others when you don’t have to be around them. Tomorrow I actually have to be around them.
Most challenging for me, as I’m sure it is for many of you, is showing love to those who have wronged me in some way. Or those whose actions I don’t respect. Especially those in positions of authority or leadership. And there are some in positions of authority to me who I feel have been deceptive and reckless.
Teachers are excellent at complaining, especially with other teachers. And I am no different. In fact, I’ve had a couple of conversations with fellow educators in the weeks leading up to the beginning of the school year, and I’ve already found myself falling into a “Shannon must be comfortable”-centered attitude in those discussions. It is a trait, if I believe any of the things I say I believe, that must be changed.
In a sermon I heard recently by John MacArthur (http://www.gty.org/Resources/Sermons/42-87), he explains that in a world full of different religions and many who don’t believe in any God, perhaps the best way for Christians to gain credibility is through love. But it’s got to be supernatural, God-inspired and strengthened love. The entire world loves those who are nice to them, those who agree with them. The calling for Christ-followers is to be different. That calling is to deal with being wronged or disagreed with or just plain annoyed as a part of living in the world and as an opportunity to display a different kind of love. But it must be a real love, not a love motivated by the desire to be a “good Christian,” whatever that is.
Tomorrow the year begins. It’s like New Years Day for educators, and I’ve got a long list of resolutions. How effective will I be? I’ll keep you posted.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
more on motivation
When I started working at a new school once again two years ago (my 3rd school in 6 years), I was determined to build a solid reputation early through my actions. I wanted to be impressive from the get-go. I had a high level of respect in my previous two teaching positions, and that level of respect allowed me a great deal of freedom in the way I taught. Also, I had always been a head coach. When I took the job with my current school (Mason City), the only available basketball coaching position was that of freshman coach. While I was thankful for many aspects of my new job, the two things it lacked that I wanted were the freedom and respect I had gained in my other jobs and a head coaching position.
I went in with the attitude that if I could be impressive, eventually I could obtain these things. If I could make myself known as a talented, hard-working teacher and coach, my time would come. It seemed like a good idea. Looking back, this approach was dead wrong.
I realized this in church on Sunday morning this week. Part of our pastor's sermon included reference to Titus 2: 9-10: "Exhort bondservants to be obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back, not pilfering, but showing all good fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things."
And there it is, in the section I've bolded. Paul is writing to Titus, a young leader, about what to tell to servants/slaves. He says to tell them to be impressive. Be honorable and dependable and one heck of a worker. But the motivation isn't so that they wouldn't get beaten or that they would be treated better. It wasn't so that they would get trusted with more or given their freedom. The message was to be impressive and honorable and dependable so that "they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things." Or in another translation: "so that in every way they will make known the teaching about God our Savior."
Getting rewarded for your work isn't bad. Look at the Old Testament Joseph and how important it was for his people that he be rewarded for his devotion as a servant. But if the reward is my motivation, my heart is in the wrong place. And so is my treasure.
I believe at this point I have some respect, a little bit of freedom, and no head coaching position. But I don't care quite as much about those anymore. This year, I seek to be impressive in all that I do so that I might adorn the doctrine of God in all things.
I went in with the attitude that if I could be impressive, eventually I could obtain these things. If I could make myself known as a talented, hard-working teacher and coach, my time would come. It seemed like a good idea. Looking back, this approach was dead wrong.
I realized this in church on Sunday morning this week. Part of our pastor's sermon included reference to Titus 2: 9-10: "Exhort bondservants to be obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back, not pilfering, but showing all good fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things."
And there it is, in the section I've bolded. Paul is writing to Titus, a young leader, about what to tell to servants/slaves. He says to tell them to be impressive. Be honorable and dependable and one heck of a worker. But the motivation isn't so that they wouldn't get beaten or that they would be treated better. It wasn't so that they would get trusted with more or given their freedom. The message was to be impressive and honorable and dependable so that "they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things." Or in another translation: "so that in every way they will make known the teaching about God our Savior."
Getting rewarded for your work isn't bad. Look at the Old Testament Joseph and how important it was for his people that he be rewarded for his devotion as a servant. But if the reward is my motivation, my heart is in the wrong place. And so is my treasure.
I believe at this point I have some respect, a little bit of freedom, and no head coaching position. But I don't care quite as much about those anymore. This year, I seek to be impressive in all that I do so that I might adorn the doctrine of God in all things.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
evolution in schools
I've grown weary of the seemingly never-ending debate going on about evolution and creationism being taught in science classrooms in public schools. The discussion started after Des Moines Register columnist Rekha Basu wrote a piece about some in the Spencer school district trying to inject opposition to Darwinism and a course on the Bible into the curriculum (see article here: http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20090712/OPINION01/907120306/1001/NEWS).
The Opinion page has been buzzing with letters in response from both Christians and non-Christians. Today was no exception, with four letters printed criticizing a previous letter. The back and forth continues.
I do get tired of some of the mindless commentary made by those attacking Christians (though much of it is not mindless and illogical); however, that's not my concern. You can hardly blame someone without the Holy Spirit in them to not be offended by those suggesting God exists. My commentary today is for the Christians in the midst of the debate.
One thing that needs to be made clear is that we're usually talking about what gets taught in a science classroom. The basis of science is that it is an attempt to explain the natural world. Scientists ask what physical explanations can be made for something happening, and they go about suggesting and testing ideas. By definition, they cannot factor in God in their explanation. God is beyond the natural world. I think we need to get less worked up about the absence of God in the science classroom curriculum. Science doesn't deal in that realm.
If we were to begin including God in the exlanation of how things work, science textbooks would need to only include one word: God. Why is the sky blue? God. Why do things fall to the ground? God. How did that leg heal? God. There are many Christian scientists, many of whom believe God is responsible for Creation. But that is not a scientific response. I think it's time to let this one die. Sure, I'd love for every kid to be exposed to the idea that God created the universe. But that doesn't belong in a science classroom.
Perhaps we should stop asking our science teachers to go out of their sphere of influence to talk about how glorious God is and how his glory shines through the creation, and instead we should start relying on Christians to stay in our biblically commanded sphere of influence, our calling to reveal these things to all the world.
And to reveal them with the motivation of saving souls, not of proving that we are right.
The Opinion page has been buzzing with letters in response from both Christians and non-Christians. Today was no exception, with four letters printed criticizing a previous letter. The back and forth continues.
I do get tired of some of the mindless commentary made by those attacking Christians (though much of it is not mindless and illogical); however, that's not my concern. You can hardly blame someone without the Holy Spirit in them to not be offended by those suggesting God exists. My commentary today is for the Christians in the midst of the debate.
One thing that needs to be made clear is that we're usually talking about what gets taught in a science classroom. The basis of science is that it is an attempt to explain the natural world. Scientists ask what physical explanations can be made for something happening, and they go about suggesting and testing ideas. By definition, they cannot factor in God in their explanation. God is beyond the natural world. I think we need to get less worked up about the absence of God in the science classroom curriculum. Science doesn't deal in that realm.
If we were to begin including God in the exlanation of how things work, science textbooks would need to only include one word: God. Why is the sky blue? God. Why do things fall to the ground? God. How did that leg heal? God. There are many Christian scientists, many of whom believe God is responsible for Creation. But that is not a scientific response. I think it's time to let this one die. Sure, I'd love for every kid to be exposed to the idea that God created the universe. But that doesn't belong in a science classroom.
Perhaps we should stop asking our science teachers to go out of their sphere of influence to talk about how glorious God is and how his glory shines through the creation, and instead we should start relying on Christians to stay in our biblically commanded sphere of influence, our calling to reveal these things to all the world.
And to reveal them with the motivation of saving souls, not of proving that we are right.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Psalm 34
I'm bad at prayer. Always have been. I was so bad that a couple of years ago I devoted one of my precious summers to studying prayer with the hope of understanding it better. I do, and I've been better since then, but I still think I fall into the "hopelessly mediocre" category of pray-ers. I also have a couple of hang-ups on issues concerning prayer that I'm sure will get brought out sooner or later in this blog.
I read in Psalm 34 today why I shouldn't be bad. I knew all these things before I read that Psalm today, but they were all piled together in a beautiful sort of poetic format. David has a way of doing that. Anyway, here I found a list of promises for those who trust in God through prayer. It's a staggering list. I want to share it today, because it makes me feel like a fool for every time I haven't prayed. I think it's great motivation, and I hope it makes me and others struggling better at this awe-inspiring and necessary activity. So here's the list:
Promises from Ps. 34 for those trusting in God through prayer:
- delivered from all fears
- will be radiant after looking to Him
- not ashamed
- heard by the Lord and saved
- the angel of the Lord is near
- able to taste and see that the Lord is good
- blessed
- will have no want
- shall not lack any good thing
- eyes of the Lord are on you
- will have many afflictions, but will be delivered by the Lord from all of them
I read in Psalm 34 today why I shouldn't be bad. I knew all these things before I read that Psalm today, but they were all piled together in a beautiful sort of poetic format. David has a way of doing that. Anyway, here I found a list of promises for those who trust in God through prayer. It's a staggering list. I want to share it today, because it makes me feel like a fool for every time I haven't prayed. I think it's great motivation, and I hope it makes me and others struggling better at this awe-inspiring and necessary activity. So here's the list:
Promises from Ps. 34 for those trusting in God through prayer:
- delivered from all fears
- will be radiant after looking to Him
- not ashamed
- heard by the Lord and saved
- the angel of the Lord is near
- able to taste and see that the Lord is good
- blessed
- will have no want
- shall not lack any good thing
- eyes of the Lord are on you
- will have many afflictions, but will be delivered by the Lord from all of them
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Doing the Expected
I'm now in the middle of reading East of Eden by John Steinbeck. It was another book I wanted to get done with before the end of summer, and now I regret not starting sooner because it's a 600 page book. I'm almost 200 pages through, and Steinbeck has written some beautiful things.
One thing I came across today is the idea of acting how one is expected to act. The story is set around 1900, and at this point in the book is in the Salinas Valley in California. At this particular point in the story, an educated Chinese American reveals to one of the main characters that he is, in fact, educated and can speak formal English. To all others, however, he speaks broken English and succumbs to common Chinese immigrant stereotypes. The main character (Sam Hamilton), a deep thinking, hard-working, kind Irish immigrant, asks him why. Lee, the Chinese character, tells that it's what people expect from him. Life is easier for him if he does what others expect him to do instead of breaking out of that.
Hamilton sees this in himself as well, commenting that he tells a lot of jokes to visitors to his farm because people come to his farm expecting that. "I try to be funny for them even when the sadness is on me," comments Hamilton.
This is a truth I see a lot of in high school students. Some continue to fail classes because their peers expect them to put forth little effort. Others are constantly making one-liners because they are expected to provide entertainment. Looking back, I see a lot of that behavior in my self as well in high school. And I'm sure it's common in the adult world as well. Once people expect something from you, it's easier to maintain that expectation rather than rock the boat and change.
There are a million things to be said about this topic, but when I first read this section this morning, I wondered about what is expected of me when people come and see me, especially where I work. I'm not sure I've come up with an answer, but what has bothered me is what didn't come as an answer. I'm not sure that what people expect of me when they come to see me is a God-centered approach to all areas of my conversations. I'm just not sure if people immediately think, "That is a guy who is really connected with God in everything he does and says."
I had that reputation once, at least to a certain extent. While working a summer camp in Pennsylvania when I was 21, a few weeks into the job a friend of mine approached me and asked if we could talk. He had a question concerning religion in his relationship with a girl, and he prefaced the conversation with, "I know you're a religious guy. . ."
I don't really have people start conversations with me like that much anymore. Perhaps that was a different environment where I was closer to a lot of the people I worked with. The staff was younger, and we worked hard all day together, played hard at night together, and spent our days off together.
Whatever the reason, the same way people come to Hamilton in East of Eden for both help and laughter, I pray that soon people will come to me with an expectation of being around someone God-centered in all he does.
One thing I came across today is the idea of acting how one is expected to act. The story is set around 1900, and at this point in the book is in the Salinas Valley in California. At this particular point in the story, an educated Chinese American reveals to one of the main characters that he is, in fact, educated and can speak formal English. To all others, however, he speaks broken English and succumbs to common Chinese immigrant stereotypes. The main character (Sam Hamilton), a deep thinking, hard-working, kind Irish immigrant, asks him why. Lee, the Chinese character, tells that it's what people expect from him. Life is easier for him if he does what others expect him to do instead of breaking out of that.
Hamilton sees this in himself as well, commenting that he tells a lot of jokes to visitors to his farm because people come to his farm expecting that. "I try to be funny for them even when the sadness is on me," comments Hamilton.
This is a truth I see a lot of in high school students. Some continue to fail classes because their peers expect them to put forth little effort. Others are constantly making one-liners because they are expected to provide entertainment. Looking back, I see a lot of that behavior in my self as well in high school. And I'm sure it's common in the adult world as well. Once people expect something from you, it's easier to maintain that expectation rather than rock the boat and change.
There are a million things to be said about this topic, but when I first read this section this morning, I wondered about what is expected of me when people come and see me, especially where I work. I'm not sure I've come up with an answer, but what has bothered me is what didn't come as an answer. I'm not sure that what people expect of me when they come to see me is a God-centered approach to all areas of my conversations. I'm just not sure if people immediately think, "That is a guy who is really connected with God in everything he does and says."
I had that reputation once, at least to a certain extent. While working a summer camp in Pennsylvania when I was 21, a few weeks into the job a friend of mine approached me and asked if we could talk. He had a question concerning religion in his relationship with a girl, and he prefaced the conversation with, "I know you're a religious guy. . ."
I don't really have people start conversations with me like that much anymore. Perhaps that was a different environment where I was closer to a lot of the people I worked with. The staff was younger, and we worked hard all day together, played hard at night together, and spent our days off together.
Whatever the reason, the same way people come to Hamilton in East of Eden for both help and laughter, I pray that soon people will come to me with an expectation of being around someone God-centered in all he does.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Excellence Defined
I wrote down a definition of excellence a few weeks ago from the Compassion International blog that I'd like to share today. If you're not familiar with Compassion, it's a great charity. I won't go deep into what they do here, but they are certainly worth looking into.
Anyway, on their blog they listed what they are aiming at when they say they are pursuing excellence. I've read a ton of leadership and personal growth books, and I like this definition the best. It will be on my classroom wall once school starts in the Fall. There are 5 points, and each one deserves individual attention in order to be fully understood.
Excellence. . .
1. is answering God's call to the best of our abilities with the gifts and resources He has given us.
2. is carrying out God's work with an attitude of enjoyment.
3. is exceeding the expectations of the world and striving to meet God's standards.
4. honors God.
5. requires a grounding in Christ, the source of all strength.
While goal-setting is good, as is having a vision for where one wants to go, the more I study, the more I realize that if one is living a God-centered life, success comes in the journey. I will never "arrive" or accomplish success. I can live each day successfully if I am pursuing excellence as it is defined above.
I can become teacher of the year, acquire another graduate degree, or go undefeated as a coach. None of that, however, would be successful or fulfilling. They are only good if I go about reaching those goals each day with excellence in mind.
Anyway, on their blog they listed what they are aiming at when they say they are pursuing excellence. I've read a ton of leadership and personal growth books, and I like this definition the best. It will be on my classroom wall once school starts in the Fall. There are 5 points, and each one deserves individual attention in order to be fully understood.
Excellence. . .
1. is answering God's call to the best of our abilities with the gifts and resources He has given us.
2. is carrying out God's work with an attitude of enjoyment.
3. is exceeding the expectations of the world and striving to meet God's standards.
4. honors God.
5. requires a grounding in Christ, the source of all strength.
While goal-setting is good, as is having a vision for where one wants to go, the more I study, the more I realize that if one is living a God-centered life, success comes in the journey. I will never "arrive" or accomplish success. I can live each day successfully if I am pursuing excellence as it is defined above.
I can become teacher of the year, acquire another graduate degree, or go undefeated as a coach. None of that, however, would be successful or fulfilling. They are only good if I go about reaching those goals each day with excellence in mind.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Reflections from today's Bible reading, Part 2
Reflection 2: A warning from Ezekiel to those rich in faith, knowledge, or money. The verse, “For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required (Luke 12:48) is one commonly cited, but God takes it to the next level with Ezekiel. In Ezekiel 3, God lets Ezekiel know that if he doesn’t tell the rebellious in Israel God’s warnings against their actions, “[their] blood I will require at your hand.” Ezekiel is given great knowledge and vision and access to the words of God Almighty. He is expected to use it. Without any attempt at boasting, I have lived a privileged life in terms of parentage, money, and education. Much is expected. . .
Reflection 3: I’ve read and heard about Christ’s healings in the gospels hundreds of times, and they often end with the statement, “Your faith has made you well.” Only today did I consider that he meant the word “well” to mean much more than physically well. Luke 17 describes the cleansing of the ten lepers, and only one comes back to thank Jesus. And Jesus says to him, “Your faith has made you well.” The others were physically well, unless the text is leaving out some major recurrence of leprosy down the road due to their self-centeredness. But the one who came back immediately glorified God. He recognized his true treasure and the source of complete joy for his life. He was not just physically well. His faith had made him spiritually well, a condition more necessary for his eternal well-being.
Reflection 3: I’ve read and heard about Christ’s healings in the gospels hundreds of times, and they often end with the statement, “Your faith has made you well.” Only today did I consider that he meant the word “well” to mean much more than physically well. Luke 17 describes the cleansing of the ten lepers, and only one comes back to thank Jesus. And Jesus says to him, “Your faith has made you well.” The others were physically well, unless the text is leaving out some major recurrence of leprosy down the road due to their self-centeredness. But the one who came back immediately glorified God. He recognized his true treasure and the source of complete joy for his life. He was not just physically well. His faith had made him spiritually well, a condition more necessary for his eternal well-being.
Reflections from today's Bible reading, Part 1
I noticed a couple of things in my Scripture reading from today that I wanted to share, but I’ll do so in pieces.
Reflection #1
I’m someone who analyzes decisions to death, agonizing over whether or not I should do something or not, or whether or not it is “God’s will” for me to do something. Right now, getting another masters degree falls in that category. I found a better way to approach decision-making in 1 Chronicles today. In I Chron. 19, Israel’s army is facing an intimidating battle. Joab, the man David has placed in charge of the army, has made a tactical decision. This decision has life or death consequences for thousands, a decision much more consequential than the ones I agonize over. His statement before the battle (verse 13) reveals a better way to approach decision-making: “Be of good courage, and let us be strong for our people and for the cities of our God. And may the Lord do what is good in His sight.”
The man is able to act with conviction. First, he says, “Be of good courage,” a statement in the Bible that is almost always followed with, “. . . for the Lord your God is with you.” Next, he speaks of motive: “. . . be strong for our people and for the cities of our God.” The action comes down to motive. If the action taken is done for the betterment of one’s family and one’s church family, the motives are in the right place. If my decision can bring glory to God through improving my family’s situation or the situation of some in the family of God, it is an action worth taking. If it is an action for the sake of pride, it is wrong. The same action/decision can be good or bad depending on the motive of the individual.
Joab ends by recognizing God’s sovereignty: “And may the Lord do what is good in His sight.”
Bottom line – I can act with conviction and confidence knowing that the Lord is with me if my motives are proper and I am working for the glory of God. It may or may not work out how I want; the Lord will do what is good in His sight. But the end result is nothing in comparison to the glory given to God in the process.
Though it will not be easy, I think I need to simplify my decision-making process to look more like Joab’s.
Reflection #1
I’m someone who analyzes decisions to death, agonizing over whether or not I should do something or not, or whether or not it is “God’s will” for me to do something. Right now, getting another masters degree falls in that category. I found a better way to approach decision-making in 1 Chronicles today. In I Chron. 19, Israel’s army is facing an intimidating battle. Joab, the man David has placed in charge of the army, has made a tactical decision. This decision has life or death consequences for thousands, a decision much more consequential than the ones I agonize over. His statement before the battle (verse 13) reveals a better way to approach decision-making: “Be of good courage, and let us be strong for our people and for the cities of our God. And may the Lord do what is good in His sight.”
The man is able to act with conviction. First, he says, “Be of good courage,” a statement in the Bible that is almost always followed with, “. . . for the Lord your God is with you.” Next, he speaks of motive: “. . . be strong for our people and for the cities of our God.” The action comes down to motive. If the action taken is done for the betterment of one’s family and one’s church family, the motives are in the right place. If my decision can bring glory to God through improving my family’s situation or the situation of some in the family of God, it is an action worth taking. If it is an action for the sake of pride, it is wrong. The same action/decision can be good or bad depending on the motive of the individual.
Joab ends by recognizing God’s sovereignty: “And may the Lord do what is good in His sight.”
Bottom line – I can act with conviction and confidence knowing that the Lord is with me if my motives are proper and I am working for the glory of God. It may or may not work out how I want; the Lord will do what is good in His sight. But the end result is nothing in comparison to the glory given to God in the process.
Though it will not be easy, I think I need to simplify my decision-making process to look more like Joab’s.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Reputation
One of the things I repeat almost daily to both my students and my basketball players is that every day they are building a reputation. Every day counts, and their actions that day will determine what they as individuals (and in basketball, us as a team) are known for. Because everyone is known for something. I emphasize this in my teaching and coaching because I believe it matters, almost certainly more so than comma usage or a jump shot.
I was listening to a sermon the other day about the life of Jonathan Edwards, icon of the Christian faith from the 18th century. His biography is interesting, especially the amount of strife he often faced in his own church. What is most memorable to me, though, is a statement the speaker made about Edwards' reputation amongst some in the his community. Many said of him, "He's too heavenly-minded to be of any earthly good."
What a ridiculous statement, and what an honorable reputation. I can only hope to be "criticized" in that way at some point in my life.
I was listening to a sermon the other day about the life of Jonathan Edwards, icon of the Christian faith from the 18th century. His biography is interesting, especially the amount of strife he often faced in his own church. What is most memorable to me, though, is a statement the speaker made about Edwards' reputation amongst some in the his community. Many said of him, "He's too heavenly-minded to be of any earthly good."
What a ridiculous statement, and what an honorable reputation. I can only hope to be "criticized" in that way at some point in my life.
Friday, July 24, 2009
My sermon in a barn: It's not me
I posted this on the church website that I'm trying to get going - thought it might be worthwhile here. A little lengthy, but certainly an edifying journey. I've pasted it below. . .
My wife's family had a family reunion this past weekend. This reunion occurs every other year, and it is a major event. It lasts for 3 days, and this year we had 70 people attend. Some people complain about family reunions - not this family. And I have loved being a part of it the past several years.
The reunion ends on Sunday morning with church in the barn. The reunion is on my in-law's farm, and we go up to the hay mow and have church on Sunday morning. We carry chairs, an electric keyboard, hymnals, and whatever else is needed up there. Two years ago, my father-in-law used the bucket of his tractor as a makeshift "elevator" up to the window of the hay mow for those unable to climb the steps. It's pretty crazy, and no one would miss it for the world. It's very special.
A few months ago, Emily's parents asked if I would give the message. It was a very intimidating task, but one I took up. The service went very well, and I hope my message was worthwhile. God certainly was with us in that barn, and I thank Him for allowing us the opportunity to worship together.
For anyone interested, I've included the sermon below:
The Scripture text read before the message was Philippians 4:1, 4:4 – 9, but the message was based on Philippians 3:17 – 4:9.
As I was thinking about what to talk about today, the most intimidating thing is that I’ve got so much less life experience than most of the people here. What do I possibly have to offer you in terms of words of wisdom? In just about everyone’s job or experience, you’ve encountered some young hot shot who tried to impart all their wisdom on you about how to do things better. Nobody likes that. I don’t want to be that. But I also couldn’t miss the opportunity to talk about God this morning. So what I’ve come up with is less of me saying let me show you how to do things, and more of me saying, “Look at what I’ve done – and learn from my mistakes.”
As I was writing my notes for this, I kept referring to my theme as a thesis statement. As a teacher of writing, I know all things must start with a statement that will guide the speech, and I want to start with that. Once we get past that, we can talk about how I’ve often missed this truth, and why this truth is so important.
There are two parts to my thesis statement, and I don’t think many of you will debate the first part. Most people in the world don’t debate the first part. My thesis statement begins with the words, “There is a God.” That’s the easy part. The second part is more complicated. It’s the part I’ve gotten wrong over and over and over, and every time I do I limit the possibilities in my life – the professional possibilities, the relational possibilities, and mostly the possibility for immense joy. The second part is simply this – “It’s not me.” So there it is: There is a God, and it’s not me. The question is, do I embrace that and live accordingly, or do I ignore it? And which is a better way to live?
The writer Blaise Pascal wrote this:
“All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The case of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will never takes the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every man.”
This is one of the truest statements I’ve ever read. Think about it. The motivation for everything we do is our own happiness. Some of you work very hard for your children’s happiness, but that’s because it makes you happy. Some of you hate your job, but you work hard at it to make money with the hope that you can use that money to bring you more happiness by paying the bills, taking care of your family, taking a trip, or seeing a movie. Some of you here even find happiness by voluntarily sitting on some frozen piece of lake in the dead of winter looking for fish, which I have yet to understand. We all want happiness and work endlessly to get it. The problem is that people like me shortchange themselves over and over and over again.
We shortchange ourselves every time we forget that there is a God, and it’s not me. You simply cannot have the same level of joy when you forget that you’re not God. You can certainly have brief moments of pleasure; but you will be missing deep, intense, lasting joy. Why would we ever settle for the brief?
This happens to me because so often, my focus is constantly on me. And the difficult and ugly truth of the matter is that when my focus is on me instead of God, I have made myself a God. My actions say, “There is a God, and it’s me.” For instance, there were a lot of days this spring when I struggled. When the alarm clock went off, I began the day grumpy. There were many questionable decisions made by the leadership of the high school where I work. I also felt I had been treated unfairly and disrespectfully in some ways. And when I woke up in the morning, I began by counting the ways I thought I had been wronged, and I then moved to predicting what moronic decisions would get made that day by those in charge. Needless to say, my day didn’t have a chance to be successful from the minute my alarm clock went off. And the reason is because I didn’t see God. I saw myself. I believed in God, but my actions and attitude showed that I believed that it was me. And it’s a sad mistake I’ve made over and over and over again in my life.
In the first book of Proverbs, Solomon writes, “Widsom calls aloud outside. . . ‘How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity?’” It hurts me to read that. How long will I love simplicity, love seeing only myself, attempt to live in a way that ignores that God exists? And when watching the rest of the world, I see this is a common problem. Watch people’s actions on a daily basis, and they seem to constantly be saying, “Look at me! Look at what I did!” They don’t do this because it feels great, but because it doesn’t. They have to continue to search for happiness, and they have yet to look elsewhere other than the empty, self-serving, thirst for attention. This is silly. We don’t need attention from others. God clearly notices us – and that’s easy to see when we look around at all the gifts he’s given us instead of how other people in the world have wronged us.
There is a God, and it’s not me. When you recognize that, you live differently. You live better. One way you live better is in your relationship with others.
Oswald Chambers is another of my favorite authors, and he wrote this: “If we believe in Jesus Christ we will determine to make our relationship to men what Jesus Christ was to us.” The quote doesn’t say that if we believe in Christ, we should act like Christ to other men. It says we will. What do your actions to others say about your belief in God?
If I believe that there is a God, and it’s not me; then I won’t let pride and anger get in the way of my relationships with others. I will love them sacrificially. Those we love the most often hurt us the most. Do you act like Christ in that situation, or do you act like you are God? When you believe that there is a God, and it’s not me, you quit counting up the number of things you’ve done for your spouse or your significant other or your friend today, and instead you ask yourself what else you can do to love them sacrificially. You don’t seek to avoid the person at work who annoys you, because you know that you can’t show them the love of God if you’re nowhere near them. And you don’t hold long grudges, regardless of how badly you were treated. Instead you take the first step towards reconciliation. The happiness we all seek will be multiplied many times over if we will just take this approach.
That doesn’t make confrontation with others bad. That doesn’t make arguments bad. Those happen, and they are necessary. The question when confrontation occurs, however, is one of motive. In this argument, is my goal to help the individual and our relationship, or is my goal to prove to them that I am God?
Another way you live better is when hard times come. And hard times most definitely come. I don’t have to tell you guys that. And hard times don’t change the fact that there is a God, and it’s not me. God is not in the business of providing my self-indulgent pleasures. He wants way more for me than that. Following God does not guarantee comfort, because in the end comfort will provide us with less joy and will convince us further that we ourselves are God.
Oswald Chambers wrote that suffering or real loss often puts us face to face with God. This is because the world is a tragic place, and evil does exist. That’s why we need God, the only source of redemption in this fallen world. We forget that in comfortable times, unfortunately. Later Chambers includes this quote: “When a man is at his wits’ end it is not a cowardly thing to pray, it is the only way he can get in touch with reality.” When I make myself a God when difficult times come, I complain to whoever will listen. I beat my brains out trying to figure out how I’ll make it, or what I can do to fix things. I give myself an excuse to treat others poorly. When I focus on God, I get God’s peace. I get to feel close to the One Sovereign Creator of all the world. It seems like a simple choice.
I said earlier that suffering puts us face to face with God. Frankly, so does celebration. God felt celebration to be so important that there are several commanded celebrations in the Bible. Events just like this one – this weekend. Celebrations like this give us some of the most memorable pictures of God. This has been a great weekend. The question is, do you see it as just that – a great weekend; or do you see God? Do you see just one weekend out of your life that happened to be positive and fun and full of good food and nice conversation? Or will you remember seeing the face of God and feeling his embrace of blessings each and every moment you got to be here and celebrate this family? Celebrations are wonderful. But you limit the immense joy available to you if you forget that there is a God, and it’s not me. You limit the experience when you forget that you were given this experience so that you might see Him.
Since we were little kids, we’ve been taught that sin is bad, that we should avoid sin. That instruction is usually followed by a list of “don’ts.” What people tend to not realize, though, is that sin isn’t wrong doing. Sin is wrong being. Regardless of what you do or don’t do, sin is doing without God. Regardless how good an act, it is sin if we forget that we aren’t God. Regardless how many “bad” things we don’t do, we have not avoided sin if we live a shallow, self-serving life.
The world screams to us that this is not true, that we are our own gods. The world tells us to serve ourselves and buy as much self-focused joy as possible. There is a huge market for this message because the same people remain unsatisfied by the same things over and over and over. They, and I, often forget where true joy comes from.
My challenge to myself, then, and to you today, is to live each day with actions that exhibit your true belief. And if there is a God that isn’t me, then each day is a gift. It may be and most likely will be difficult at times, but it is a gift. And it is an opportunity. No one, at the end of a day, says, “Man, it felt good being stagnant and dull today. I was lucky to do without God today. It was wonderful to just survive! I’m so happy! I’m so glad I’m holding grudges. I’m so glad I feel wronged. I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.” Those people don’t sing. They don’t sing “Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!” The don’t sing, “It is well, it is well, with my soul.” They don’t sing “Great is they faithfulness, Oh God my Father. . . Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.” And they don’t sing it because they don’t have it. There is no strength for today, and there is no hope for tomorrow.
When we look to God each day, we get to sing it. And it brings tears to our eyes, because we know it’s true. When we do the things Paul suggested in his letter to the Phillipians – rejoice in the Lord always, let your gentleness be known, be anxious for nothing, pray, focus on what is good – then we get what he promised: the peace of God.
Look around this room. Look at the quality of people we have in here. It’s not by accident. So many of them are what they are because their actions are a daily testimony to the fact that there is a God, and it’s not them. When I’m with this family, with these people, I get to see God. Why would we choose to be anything less?
Thank you for listening today, and thank you to the many of you who show me the love of God every time I see you.
My wife's family had a family reunion this past weekend. This reunion occurs every other year, and it is a major event. It lasts for 3 days, and this year we had 70 people attend. Some people complain about family reunions - not this family. And I have loved being a part of it the past several years.
The reunion ends on Sunday morning with church in the barn. The reunion is on my in-law's farm, and we go up to the hay mow and have church on Sunday morning. We carry chairs, an electric keyboard, hymnals, and whatever else is needed up there. Two years ago, my father-in-law used the bucket of his tractor as a makeshift "elevator" up to the window of the hay mow for those unable to climb the steps. It's pretty crazy, and no one would miss it for the world. It's very special.
A few months ago, Emily's parents asked if I would give the message. It was a very intimidating task, but one I took up. The service went very well, and I hope my message was worthwhile. God certainly was with us in that barn, and I thank Him for allowing us the opportunity to worship together.
For anyone interested, I've included the sermon below:
The Scripture text read before the message was Philippians 4:1, 4:4 – 9, but the message was based on Philippians 3:17 – 4:9.
As I was thinking about what to talk about today, the most intimidating thing is that I’ve got so much less life experience than most of the people here. What do I possibly have to offer you in terms of words of wisdom? In just about everyone’s job or experience, you’ve encountered some young hot shot who tried to impart all their wisdom on you about how to do things better. Nobody likes that. I don’t want to be that. But I also couldn’t miss the opportunity to talk about God this morning. So what I’ve come up with is less of me saying let me show you how to do things, and more of me saying, “Look at what I’ve done – and learn from my mistakes.”
As I was writing my notes for this, I kept referring to my theme as a thesis statement. As a teacher of writing, I know all things must start with a statement that will guide the speech, and I want to start with that. Once we get past that, we can talk about how I’ve often missed this truth, and why this truth is so important.
There are two parts to my thesis statement, and I don’t think many of you will debate the first part. Most people in the world don’t debate the first part. My thesis statement begins with the words, “There is a God.” That’s the easy part. The second part is more complicated. It’s the part I’ve gotten wrong over and over and over, and every time I do I limit the possibilities in my life – the professional possibilities, the relational possibilities, and mostly the possibility for immense joy. The second part is simply this – “It’s not me.” So there it is: There is a God, and it’s not me. The question is, do I embrace that and live accordingly, or do I ignore it? And which is a better way to live?
The writer Blaise Pascal wrote this:
“All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The case of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will never takes the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every man.”
This is one of the truest statements I’ve ever read. Think about it. The motivation for everything we do is our own happiness. Some of you work very hard for your children’s happiness, but that’s because it makes you happy. Some of you hate your job, but you work hard at it to make money with the hope that you can use that money to bring you more happiness by paying the bills, taking care of your family, taking a trip, or seeing a movie. Some of you here even find happiness by voluntarily sitting on some frozen piece of lake in the dead of winter looking for fish, which I have yet to understand. We all want happiness and work endlessly to get it. The problem is that people like me shortchange themselves over and over and over again.
We shortchange ourselves every time we forget that there is a God, and it’s not me. You simply cannot have the same level of joy when you forget that you’re not God. You can certainly have brief moments of pleasure; but you will be missing deep, intense, lasting joy. Why would we ever settle for the brief?
This happens to me because so often, my focus is constantly on me. And the difficult and ugly truth of the matter is that when my focus is on me instead of God, I have made myself a God. My actions say, “There is a God, and it’s me.” For instance, there were a lot of days this spring when I struggled. When the alarm clock went off, I began the day grumpy. There were many questionable decisions made by the leadership of the high school where I work. I also felt I had been treated unfairly and disrespectfully in some ways. And when I woke up in the morning, I began by counting the ways I thought I had been wronged, and I then moved to predicting what moronic decisions would get made that day by those in charge. Needless to say, my day didn’t have a chance to be successful from the minute my alarm clock went off. And the reason is because I didn’t see God. I saw myself. I believed in God, but my actions and attitude showed that I believed that it was me. And it’s a sad mistake I’ve made over and over and over again in my life.
In the first book of Proverbs, Solomon writes, “Widsom calls aloud outside. . . ‘How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity?’” It hurts me to read that. How long will I love simplicity, love seeing only myself, attempt to live in a way that ignores that God exists? And when watching the rest of the world, I see this is a common problem. Watch people’s actions on a daily basis, and they seem to constantly be saying, “Look at me! Look at what I did!” They don’t do this because it feels great, but because it doesn’t. They have to continue to search for happiness, and they have yet to look elsewhere other than the empty, self-serving, thirst for attention. This is silly. We don’t need attention from others. God clearly notices us – and that’s easy to see when we look around at all the gifts he’s given us instead of how other people in the world have wronged us.
There is a God, and it’s not me. When you recognize that, you live differently. You live better. One way you live better is in your relationship with others.
Oswald Chambers is another of my favorite authors, and he wrote this: “If we believe in Jesus Christ we will determine to make our relationship to men what Jesus Christ was to us.” The quote doesn’t say that if we believe in Christ, we should act like Christ to other men. It says we will. What do your actions to others say about your belief in God?
If I believe that there is a God, and it’s not me; then I won’t let pride and anger get in the way of my relationships with others. I will love them sacrificially. Those we love the most often hurt us the most. Do you act like Christ in that situation, or do you act like you are God? When you believe that there is a God, and it’s not me, you quit counting up the number of things you’ve done for your spouse or your significant other or your friend today, and instead you ask yourself what else you can do to love them sacrificially. You don’t seek to avoid the person at work who annoys you, because you know that you can’t show them the love of God if you’re nowhere near them. And you don’t hold long grudges, regardless of how badly you were treated. Instead you take the first step towards reconciliation. The happiness we all seek will be multiplied many times over if we will just take this approach.
That doesn’t make confrontation with others bad. That doesn’t make arguments bad. Those happen, and they are necessary. The question when confrontation occurs, however, is one of motive. In this argument, is my goal to help the individual and our relationship, or is my goal to prove to them that I am God?
Another way you live better is when hard times come. And hard times most definitely come. I don’t have to tell you guys that. And hard times don’t change the fact that there is a God, and it’s not me. God is not in the business of providing my self-indulgent pleasures. He wants way more for me than that. Following God does not guarantee comfort, because in the end comfort will provide us with less joy and will convince us further that we ourselves are God.
Oswald Chambers wrote that suffering or real loss often puts us face to face with God. This is because the world is a tragic place, and evil does exist. That’s why we need God, the only source of redemption in this fallen world. We forget that in comfortable times, unfortunately. Later Chambers includes this quote: “When a man is at his wits’ end it is not a cowardly thing to pray, it is the only way he can get in touch with reality.” When I make myself a God when difficult times come, I complain to whoever will listen. I beat my brains out trying to figure out how I’ll make it, or what I can do to fix things. I give myself an excuse to treat others poorly. When I focus on God, I get God’s peace. I get to feel close to the One Sovereign Creator of all the world. It seems like a simple choice.
I said earlier that suffering puts us face to face with God. Frankly, so does celebration. God felt celebration to be so important that there are several commanded celebrations in the Bible. Events just like this one – this weekend. Celebrations like this give us some of the most memorable pictures of God. This has been a great weekend. The question is, do you see it as just that – a great weekend; or do you see God? Do you see just one weekend out of your life that happened to be positive and fun and full of good food and nice conversation? Or will you remember seeing the face of God and feeling his embrace of blessings each and every moment you got to be here and celebrate this family? Celebrations are wonderful. But you limit the immense joy available to you if you forget that there is a God, and it’s not me. You limit the experience when you forget that you were given this experience so that you might see Him.
Since we were little kids, we’ve been taught that sin is bad, that we should avoid sin. That instruction is usually followed by a list of “don’ts.” What people tend to not realize, though, is that sin isn’t wrong doing. Sin is wrong being. Regardless of what you do or don’t do, sin is doing without God. Regardless how good an act, it is sin if we forget that we aren’t God. Regardless how many “bad” things we don’t do, we have not avoided sin if we live a shallow, self-serving life.
The world screams to us that this is not true, that we are our own gods. The world tells us to serve ourselves and buy as much self-focused joy as possible. There is a huge market for this message because the same people remain unsatisfied by the same things over and over and over. They, and I, often forget where true joy comes from.
My challenge to myself, then, and to you today, is to live each day with actions that exhibit your true belief. And if there is a God that isn’t me, then each day is a gift. It may be and most likely will be difficult at times, but it is a gift. And it is an opportunity. No one, at the end of a day, says, “Man, it felt good being stagnant and dull today. I was lucky to do without God today. It was wonderful to just survive! I’m so happy! I’m so glad I’m holding grudges. I’m so glad I feel wronged. I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.” Those people don’t sing. They don’t sing “Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!” The don’t sing, “It is well, it is well, with my soul.” They don’t sing “Great is they faithfulness, Oh God my Father. . . Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.” And they don’t sing it because they don’t have it. There is no strength for today, and there is no hope for tomorrow.
When we look to God each day, we get to sing it. And it brings tears to our eyes, because we know it’s true. When we do the things Paul suggested in his letter to the Phillipians – rejoice in the Lord always, let your gentleness be known, be anxious for nothing, pray, focus on what is good – then we get what he promised: the peace of God.
Look around this room. Look at the quality of people we have in here. It’s not by accident. So many of them are what they are because their actions are a daily testimony to the fact that there is a God, and it’s not them. When I’m with this family, with these people, I get to see God. Why would we choose to be anything less?
Thank you for listening today, and thank you to the many of you who show me the love of God every time I see you.
The Sun Also Rises
I just finished Hemingway's novel The Sun Also Rises this morning. I've been working on it off and on for about 3 weeks. I woke up this morning at 5, and unable to go back to sleep , I decided to be productive and finish the book off. I teach Hemingway in my Modern American Literature course, and I thought I'd teach him better after reading what many consider to be his most important novel. Maybe I'll be better, maybe I won't. Either way, I think Hemingway is dead on.
Hemingway spent a lot of time in Paris with other writers and artists. They were known as the Expatriates, and they were influenced heavily by a woman named Gertrude Stein. She called the Americans there the "Lost Generation." They were "lost" because they had become disillusioned about life. The American Dream wasn't producing joy. The first World War had exposed them to awful realities. They figured out life was meaningless, and they didn't know what to do about it. In The Sun Also Rises, they mostly get drunk and watch bullfights. Hemingway is notorious for including autobiographical elements in his writing.
Shockingly, the characters never find happiness. If you've never read Hemingway, you keep waiting for the happy ending to occur. If you've read a lot of him, you know from the beginning that it probably never will. Hemingway sought to write about life as it is, not as it should be. And he, as well as many others in his generation, didn't see much hope in life. They didn't see much as worthwhile. Hemingway's biography shows a man who was a relentless adventurer who sought a celebrity lifestyle. Then he committed suicide.
Two pages from the end of The Sun Also Rises, the main character is in a conversation about finding happiness with the women whom he will always want but will never get. He mentions that some people have found God and seem to be happy about it. Her response is that "He never really worked very well for me." And then the subject changes, and two pages later, the book ends, with no one happy. (Sorry if you haven't read it. It's still a worthwhile read, despite the fact that you know going in that no one really gets what they want).
As I said, I finished that this morning. When I think about it, it sounds a lot like today. A lot like several current generations. Lots of money out there. Lots of toys and gadgets. Lot of luxuries, despite all the "Great Recession" news. Lot of people trying to barhop their way to happiness, or work their way to happiness, or date their way to happiness, or even play softball in an attempt for happiness (I just came from a slow-pitch game I played in: it often amazes me how much pride often gets in the way of a good time in these games).
Perhaps we are the new "Lost Generation." Or perhaps every generation has been this, just lost in something different, finding some other way to acknowledge God for one line out of 250 pages, and wondering why things just don't work out. Or maybe I'm reading too much into a novel.
Hemingway - I'm sorry you went through life feeling this empty. And I'm sorry so many others are destined for this fate. May God save us all from living a life this devoid of meaning.
Hemingway spent a lot of time in Paris with other writers and artists. They were known as the Expatriates, and they were influenced heavily by a woman named Gertrude Stein. She called the Americans there the "Lost Generation." They were "lost" because they had become disillusioned about life. The American Dream wasn't producing joy. The first World War had exposed them to awful realities. They figured out life was meaningless, and they didn't know what to do about it. In The Sun Also Rises, they mostly get drunk and watch bullfights. Hemingway is notorious for including autobiographical elements in his writing.
Shockingly, the characters never find happiness. If you've never read Hemingway, you keep waiting for the happy ending to occur. If you've read a lot of him, you know from the beginning that it probably never will. Hemingway sought to write about life as it is, not as it should be. And he, as well as many others in his generation, didn't see much hope in life. They didn't see much as worthwhile. Hemingway's biography shows a man who was a relentless adventurer who sought a celebrity lifestyle. Then he committed suicide.
Two pages from the end of The Sun Also Rises, the main character is in a conversation about finding happiness with the women whom he will always want but will never get. He mentions that some people have found God and seem to be happy about it. Her response is that "He never really worked very well for me." And then the subject changes, and two pages later, the book ends, with no one happy. (Sorry if you haven't read it. It's still a worthwhile read, despite the fact that you know going in that no one really gets what they want).
As I said, I finished that this morning. When I think about it, it sounds a lot like today. A lot like several current generations. Lots of money out there. Lots of toys and gadgets. Lot of luxuries, despite all the "Great Recession" news. Lot of people trying to barhop their way to happiness, or work their way to happiness, or date their way to happiness, or even play softball in an attempt for happiness (I just came from a slow-pitch game I played in: it often amazes me how much pride often gets in the way of a good time in these games).
Perhaps we are the new "Lost Generation." Or perhaps every generation has been this, just lost in something different, finding some other way to acknowledge God for one line out of 250 pages, and wondering why things just don't work out. Or maybe I'm reading too much into a novel.
Hemingway - I'm sorry you went through life feeling this empty. And I'm sorry so many others are destined for this fate. May God save us all from living a life this devoid of meaning.
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