I'm back

For any who are wondering, I believe I've made it back out of the abyss of "here." It was a long journey, and it's the first topic that dominated several consecutive blog posts. One of the biggest things I learned is just how common this experience is. I had so many of you write or call or talk about your own experiences "here." "Here" is a reality - it happens to everyone. There is a season for everything, including a season to feel like crap and mope around about it. It happened to me, and it will happen again. Thought I don't look forward to sitting in a long funk again, the good times do taste much sweeter when compared to the not so good times. And when it comes again, I hope I remember what I've learned about getting out.

Strategy #1: I get by with a little help from my friends.
I got fed up and had a gathering of sorts with some of my close friends from my time at NS-RF high school. I felt like garbage, so I threw a party. We sat around my living room, enjoyed a few beverages, and we laughed. If you want to hear stories, sit in a room with a bunch of teachers and their spouses. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. I did briefly entertain the idea of becoming an X-ray technician (or something like that); but ultimately I came away not with with a career change, but with a great deal of joy. Which was pretty much the goal anyway. Too often I think we wait to celebrate big events. That night, we simply celebrated one of our biggest priorities, which is laughing together. I definitely had no time for self-pity in that environment.

Strategy #2: Be honest to those you trust.
I really hesitated to make any of my feelings public on this blog. I also don't enjoy talking about them openly with others as well. Against my better judgment, I did post it; and I also talked to a current teaching friend at Mason City. Frankly, it helped a lot. With my Mason City colleague, who was feeling the exact same way (especially about our job), we talked ourselves into no longer being the victim. We brought cookies and donuts to improve morale. We committed to telling more jokes between classes. I talked to several others or you, whether through Google chat, the phone, or elsewhere. It helped. 99.9% of people I would never be this honest with; those I trusted, however, proved worthy of that trust.

Strategy #3: Marry a patient spouse.
Although she never verbalized it, I imagine the thoughts going on in my wife's head went something like this: "I don't like you very much right now, but I do love you. At some point, the man I married will return. I hope that happens soon. Until then, I'll love you even though you're absolutely no fun at all." And she did. I hope she feels rewarded for her patience.

Strategy #4: Read wise authors, like MLK Jr.
This quote from King was especially important in the journey out:
"Do your work so well that no one could do it better. Do it so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to say: Here lived a man who did his job as if God Almighty called him at this particular time in history to do it."

I don't have to necessarily like my current situation to do that. And I must act as if I was called at this time and to this place to do my job, because I was. I'm here. And if an Almighty and Sovereign Being exists, He's responsible for that. So suck it up, Dykstra.

I wrote "wise" authors in the strategy as opposed to inspirational, because I found inspirational authors to do nothing for me. Those that usually inspire me did not have the words for me when I was "here." Wisdom was more inspiring than inspiration. Figure that one out. I suppose when the emotion one is most tied to is self-pity, appealing to one's emotions through inspirational talk will have little effect. That was my experience anyway.

Strategy #5: Do what you love.
I never stopped loving teaching. So I kept teaching. I love shooting the bull with other teachers, so I did that. I love my wife and my daughter and my family, so I stuck as closely to them as possible, even when I wasn't in the best of moods. I love coaching, so I got ready for the season. None of it fixed the events that put me in the funk, but doing what I love did make me remember that the little bad things going on that added up into big things ultimately didn't overcome the big positive things already in my life.


So through the grace of God, my friends, and my family, I feel like I'm back. I'm still busy, and I'm still somewhat dissatisfied with aspects of my job. None of that has changed. I'm just out of the abyss. It feels good to be out.