Free Will is Harder Than It Sounds

As I indicated in my last post, uncertainty and change for me brings fear. The fear usually comes because uncertainty and change often offer a choice. Having choices can be good, but more often than not I'd prefer that choices just left me alone. Choices invade my comfortable existence, my steady day to day, and offer me either "this," or "that," or perhaps even another "this'; but the known is no longer one of the options.

I'm paralyzed in fear at these times because I don't want to screw up. As long as the choices don't exist, I know I'm doing the right thing. Offer options, though, and all of a sudden "two roads diverged in a yellow wood," and my choice will make all the difference ages and ages hence.

As many Christians are fond of saying, it is at this point that I begin "seeking God's will for me" and "His guidance." I "wait patiently for the Lord" and submit to "His timing." This is all well and good, when it's real. But sometimes those phrases are gigantic cop-outs that allow me to put off taking action. When used poorly, they can be fake faith - a faith that needs no God to rely on.

Of course the engraved invitation from God would be great, a postcard in the mail or a text message sent randomly with God's preferred action for my life falling gently into my lap to lead me danger-free through tulips and puppies and rainbows into the life of my dreams. I've sought that message many times through prayer.

My thinking has changed a bit on this, though. I think instead of God wanting to make our lives easier by providing direct answers, God would prefer that we trust that He is enough regardless of the path that we take. An easy life where we're sure of the path in front of us requires little faith or daily connection to The Almighty. As much pressure as I can put on myself to make the right choices for me and my family, that pressure reflects a faith only in my decision-making, not on His all-sustaining nature whether I choose wisely or not. It shows I assume control, which is folly.

As my thoughts on this post have taken shape over the past week, two blogs I follow have had some timely words that I share here. The first if from the Storyline blog: 
"Whatever it is, at times it seems overwhelming and impossible to change. In these situations the problem is often that we have come to prefer the familiar over the unfamiliar. In other words, we exchange what we desperately need, for the secure feeling of being in control. Just like Adam and Eve, deep down you and I prefer independence, with its loneliness, over the love and fulfillment of absolute dependence on God. 

"Fear often clouds our thinking into trying the same things over and over. Usually it takes the failure of all we know to ease great pain, before clarity comes. Loss of what is familiar, even against our will, brings us to surrender . . . surrender to a God who wants to give us more than we can ask or dream."

The other is from Justin Taylor's blog: "We do well to seek advice. This is wisdom. But there's something to being at your wits' end that begs for more than instruction. Psalm 107 illustrates a season in the storm. Men in ships doing business on great waters are literally struck by a tempest. Scripture says, 'They reeled and staggered like drunken men and were at their wits' end' (v. 27). Their response to being completely helpless was to cry out to the Lord. No how-tos, no cute preservers, but just an honest and urgent pleas to be delivered from a situation that was more than they could navigate."

Fear is a natural response to choices. But lasting fear, and paralyzing fear, indicate a desire to rest in a spot that has no faith. Instead of worrying about which choice is best, choose faith.