March's Mission

In my step-by-step, month-by-month list of personal improvements for the year, I've decided March is the month to tackle my goal of "praying big."

Realistically, I should probably simplify the goal this month from "pray big" to just "pray." That would be a huge step in the right direction. My life isn't devoid of prayer - I pray with my family at the table and before bed - it's just lacking focused prayer. This may be, in my mind, my greatest spiritual weakness. Prayer has been a years long struggle for me as I've attempted to understand it. Fellow Christians ask me to pray for certain problems in their lives, and I want to ask them, "Are you sure? Do you know how bad I am at this?" And as I rail against the idea of not living out one's beliefs, in the back of my head I know that I'm talking about me and my lack of prayer.

But I will not diminish the goal. I said I needed to start praying big, so that's exactly what I'm going to do. I don't need to baby-step this one with some sort of gradual nicotine-patch approach to my prayer life. I've already baby-stepped this one enough: despite the fact that I realize how big of a weakness this is for me, I've left it until now because I knew it just wouldn't be a successful attempt during basketball season. I basically admitted to myself that I wouldn't make time, so I should just wait until March. So here I am, with no where else to hide and no more excuses to use.

I made a list the other night of big prayer items in my life. Miracles, basically. I've got broken relationships, lost souls, hopeless scenarios, and pie in the sky dreams written on that list. I'm carrying the list with me so that as more come to me I can write them down. I've committed to praying through the list this month. My goal is to pray every day about a couple of items on the list. I've already missed one day this month because I fell asleep on the couch at 9:15, but I hope that's an anomaly.

I don't know what I'll achieve through this journey. I did acquire unexpected gains from January and February's focused efforts, though, so I'm curious what will happen in March. If nothing else, I'll certainly be praying again.