If At First You Don't Succeed. . .

My month-long challenge of praying big has ended with mixed results. I did get back into the routine of praying regularly once again, which is a huge plus. I also came to some realizations, including the power of prayer in gaining perspective and peace. It was a good month - I made progress on this goal.

I'm not ready to move on yet, though. For one, my numbers weren't great. I ended up actually sitting down at the keyboard to pray 19 out of 31 days. I know that prayer can still "count" (as if God is keeping score) if I'm not at my computer, but it's just not the same. If I'm typing, I'm focused and purposeful. The prayer isn't an afterthought. And despite the fact that I did pray for everything on my "Pray Big List" over the month, I only got in front of that screen for the purpose of praying just over 60% of the days.

Weekends were killers. That's counterintuitive; but for whatever reason, the days with no prayers were primarily Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. I need to find a way to make that less of a pattern.

Bottom line is that I'm simply not where I want to be, so I can't move on. I can't push my focus onto something new without the proper progress on prayer for fear of losing these gains in my spiritual journey. If I commit to another month (and make that public here), it'll allow myself to be held accountable once again.

I also want to take the month and make plans on how to act on my requests. I fully believe God can do whatever he wants, but I also believe it's my responsibility to care about my "pray big list" more than by simply praying. If I can act, I should act. I must go to God, but I also can't absolve myself of responsibility. I intend on finding ways to be a more active participant in making these gigantic faith leap goals possible.

I have another goal as well. I still have a ton of unanswered questions about prayer. Frankly, it's lazy of me not to pursue answers. It's not like they're going to fall out of the sky into my lap. Often knowledge requires work, especially knowledge worth having.

One question I have concerns the purpose, appropriateness, effectiveness, and Biblical basis for corporate prayer. Why do we have a couple hundred people bow their heads in church so that someone else can pray a prayer for them, just because they have the microphone? If God values authenticity, and the words being prayed are not my own, what's the point? Has this become a basic tradition in church, a way to pass from point B to point C in the schedule printed in the bulletin? That one has bugged me for years.

I have other questions as well, and I'd like to create a list for me to work on over the next several weeks. I'm asking for help from my readers: What questions do you have about prayer? What knowledge can I seek out for you, for us? It's not easy to believe in the power of something one doesn't understand. I hope for us to come to a better understanding together. Please send me your questions in either the comment box or by email @ shannondykstra@gmail.com.