Conflict is Coming

Somewhere along the line of human history, people in general have come to fear conflict. It's awkward, and we tend to avoid it if possible; and that seemed to make perfect sense to me until recently. My pastor noted something interesting in a sermon a few weeks back that stuck with me:

"This side of heaven, there will always be conflicts."

He's right, and that thought has stayed with me for a while. Humanity is fallen and selfish; the world is not a perfect place. Therefore, conflict will, and must occur. It's a fact of life. What's so striking about this is how shocked and frustrated I (and I assume most others) get when conflict pops up.

If I really think about it, I probably haven't encountered a conflict free day at school in a long, long time. I work with people, so it's inevitable. I am routinely in conflict with students, staff, parents, administration, or our "technology"; more often than not, it's some combination of all of it. Yet every time I get edgy or indignant. My sarcasm rises, and I seek out people to tell me that I'm right. Most ridiculously, I feel shocked that someone would dare come into conflict with me.

Recognizing the truth that conflict is inevitable on this side of heaven pushes me to be ready for conflict and not react poorly. Instead of responding with righteous indignation, a battle-plan for victory, witty retorts, or back-handed commentary, I could just seek reconciliation. I imagine that would be much more productive than running around screaming, "You're not going to believe what _____________ just said. . ."

By saying reconciliation, I'm not advocating just laying down and letting people walk all over me. There are many ideas, causes, and situations worth fighting for. Reconciliation isn't avoidance, and it's not becoming a doormat. No, some conflict is definitely worth engaging in.

All I'm saying is that some ways of entering into conflict are more effective than others. Shock is certainly not one of the effective ways. Instead, preparation, expectation, and direct discussion with the source all provide a better chance at ending (instead of avoiding) that conflict.

Someone is going to make both you and I angry tomorrow. Maybe even before that first cup of coffee. Let's be ready.