Tiger God

I read an interesting article in Time Magazine this week entitled "Tiger Mom" about a book written about parenting that's causing a lot of stir. In it, an American of Chinese descent recounts her "Chinese" parenting strategies that go against typical parenting behavior in the U.S. I'll leave my opinions regarding her controversial book aside, but one quote from the book that appeared in the article really stood out to me: "(Chinese parents) assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently." Her theory, which is backed by psychological research, is that if you treat kids as if they can handle difficult tasks (as opposed to sheltering them from adversity), they will approach those tasks with much more confidence and skill. She has high expectations for her children; however, those high expectations communicate a great confidence in them as well.

I think she's right about this. And I think that if people listened to God (the ultimate Father figure) more, they would in turn have higher confidence to achieve great things in their lives as well. Biblically speaking, God approaches us with high expectations and high confidence. For example:

• Christians are referred to as "holy" and "chosen." The Bible doesn't say we should act holy; it says we are holy, so we should act like it.
• We are told we have an essential calling as part of the Church body; and if we don't perform, the body will suffer greatly.
• We are told to be Christlike, and we are assured we have everything we need to accomplish that mind-boggling task.
• We are told that to whom much has been given, much will be expected.
• It is demanded that we not be lukewarm: don't be casual (especially with God), be passionate.
• We are commanded to love sacrificially, especially our enemies.
• We are guaranteed we will face trials, often unfair ones; but we are assured that we have the strength to persevere and that we will be better and happier if we do.

At no point does God say, "It would be cool if you could accomplish some of these, but I know I'm asking a lot." They are commands. If only we were listening more, perhaps we'd have the confidence in ourselves that God displays in us.

The article spent some time talking about just how unpopular in the U.S. many of author's methods are. In our helicopter parent, don't keep score for fear of hurting feelings, low grades harm self-esteem culture, of course higher expectations aren't going to be embraced. You can't be your kid's "buddy" if you're telling them that mediocre isn't good enough, that they can do better. Perhaps that's why these commands from Christ aren't so popular either. In America we don't necessarily want those demands on ourselves; we prefer a "Buddy Jesus" and a smiling George Carlin pastor (from the film Dogma) letting us know that "I'm okay, you're okay."

But that's not reality. Reality is a loving Father who says, "I love you too much to demand any less of you than your total joy." We can either pay attention and find that joy and confidence, or we can smile and quietly nod our head on Sunday and go out and survive another lukewarm week.