Parting Words for My Graduating Seniors (And Probably for the Rest of Us)

I've decided to sit down and write to you despite the fact that I don't feel like it right now. It's something I want to have done; however, getting started has proven difficult. And now it's 8:30 PM and I just want to fall asleep in my chair with a book. But I'm here and I'm writing because I feel compelled by our relationship to have some parting words. Or at least my vision of our relationship, one which I hope is driven by mutual respect and my need to squeeze something out of every possible minute I have to influence you because you were gracious enough to sign up for my class. As you are likely reading this during some of your last minutes in here, and because of that allegiance to your time with me, I am compelled to get down some words.

It is that word "compel" that I want to emphasize today. It is not a word that gets much attention. I don't hear many kids running around saying "I want to be compelled when I grow up!" and I certainly can't find any inspirational graduation cards with trite quotes about finding that which "compels" you as you head off to your next journey. No, in our self-reliant, self-promoting, self-satisfying culture, we rarely stop and think about finding that which we allow to compel us in our lives.

Of course we don't. The word originates from the Latin "compellere" meaning to drive together like cattle, or to force someone into something. It indicates that motivation for an act has come from the outside, as if any who are compelled are slaves, merely doing another's bidding out of fear or guilt or bribery. Synonyms include "force, pressure, press, push, urge." Haven't you earned the right, now that you've done the bidding of parent and teacher and director and coach for 18 long years, to just do whatever it is you want to do?

Sure, you have that right. You've had it for a long time already; some of us were just slow to let you in on that secret. But I hope you want more for yourself that the "freedom" to do as you wish, when you wish, for yourself.

For the best work of my life has been that which I've felt compelled to do.

I am compelled daily by the most fantastic, devoted, caring woman that I could ever imagine. I am compelled by my love for her to pick up my socks when I don't want to, to be wiser that I ever thought possible, and to put the needs of my family above my personal wants. I am compelled to wash dishes some times, vacuum the floors most times, and consider ways to make her smile all times. I have not yet been compelled to believe in Valentine's Day, of course; but she hasn't tried to drive me that way either.

My parents compelled me to avoid a lot of stupid mistakes that I desperately wanted to commit in my youth. My friends compelled me to get out of my own way, to see the world through the eyes of those with significantly different worldviews, and to try many things that I was hesitant to try. Like Chinese food. Or actually talking to girls. My grandparents compelled me to embrace where I came from.

I have been compelled by books. Stacks and stacks of books. Some required by coursework I didn't feel like completing, others recommended by friends or authors, still others mere accidents. But they drove me. They pushed and pressured and demanded in ways I wanted desperately to go and ways I never thought I would.

Teachers have compelled me. Teachers I've liked, teachers I've hated, and even teachers I've forgotten made me go where I didn't want to go. Grazing, cattle-like, I instead was herded into philosophies that I now cling to.

I was compelled by a pompous, bombastic Humanities professor and his atheistic badgering to actually dig in, commit myself to knowing the Bible if I was going to profess it, and purposefully mature in a faith I could barely call active, despite the fancy Jesus fish on the back of my car.

Now I am compelled by God, both through my head and my heart, to live sacrificially, to grow consistently, to love my enemy, and to crave truth desperately. And every day, when I fail in some way, I am compelled all over again.

And I am compelled right now, by duty, by love, and by respect to type these words and offer them in a last-ditch effort to compel you.

Some people are self-starters. They can muster up the motivation to be more than they are right now all on their own. If that's you, I envy you. It's not me. And my experience tells me that I'm not alone. Left to myself, to do as I please, when I please, I would have decades of regret tugging at my soul.

To be compelled is to make something else more important. To get outside of yourself. To submit. It is a reminder that you are not a god. Trust me, you will need that reminder.

So I urge you to put yourself in positions to be compelled by worthy "drivers." That will require many that you don't agree with. Or like. That will require you to personally seek out opportunities to be compelled, and it will require you to keep your eyes open and simply say yes when a compeller finds you. Most of all, to be compelled is to make the decision that something else, or someone else, is more important than yourself today.

Go forth, to your classrooms and workplaces and peer groups and new communities and old communities and families and strangers. Allow them to compel you.

And feel free, whenever the need arises, to compel me to serve you once again.