Risk Anyway

When you speak plans or desires out loud, you risk the result of failure. Risk anyway.

I've always been an advocate for having something on the line that you care about. It's one of the reasons I like coaching, and it's also a theme I teach students through literature. Life is better lived when you care about something enough that you have something to lose, when you have to walk around with that proverbial pit in your stomach because you've put in time, effort, and love to something and you want it to work out. Risking enough to feel that way about a person, a job, a performance, etc. can be taxing and hurtful when it doesn't go the way you want it to. You put yourself out there for significant loss. But you do that because there's so much to gain as well; and playing to win is so much more rewarding than sitting on the sidelines, surviving, merely getting by each day long enough to go to bed, wake up, and get through the next one.

I realized another reason this week that caring and risking big is a better way to live.

For the most part I've avoided the topic on this blog, but I'm currently chasing a position that I want. I've known for about 4 months that there would be a week sometime in the spring where I'd find out if I was going to get what I wanted. This is that week. I've got something I want, something I've put thousands of hours into, something that will hurt if I lose.

This week I've walked around exhausted, tossing and turning through sleepless nights, mass-consuming coffee and jostling that pit in the corner of my stomach, working hard not to vomit. I've put myself in as good of a position as possible, but the risk is very real. Maybe tomorrow, maybe a couple of days after, the verdict will be returned.

Wednesday was interview day, and I wrestled my nerves and my desire and my fatigue all day. But it was a good day, regardless of the news I get. It was a good day because through this experience, through having something on the line that mattered, I got a good picture of the people in my life who are for me. Scattered throughout the week were notes and emails and quick conversations of encouragement, well-wishes, and prayers. Those messages will not affect the final outcome, but they will affect what happens after the outcome.

After the outcome, whatever it may be, I know I've still got that support. I know I'll have those people in my life, and I'll know that the next big thing that I chase, the next goal or challenge that really matters and that I risk time and energy and emotion into, they'll be there for that too. I might not have received that reminder without the angst of the chase.

Risk big, and you'll find out who's with you. And find out what the important people in your life are risking today too; they'll want to know you're with them now, in the process, before the verdict is ever returned.