March Review

I committed to reporting out my progress on 3 major goals for 2013. While the month of March is not quite over, I don't see much progress coming over the last few days of the month. It's time to report out.

Goal 1: Read 25 books.
I got two more read this month. Not great reads, but a lot of good pieces that will be useful. I'm at 7 for the year, so I'm still on track.

Goal 2: Write 75 blog posts.
This is post number 6, which is exactly what I need. I thought I might get a few more in, but it just didn't happen with being gone for a week of Spring Break. My favorites for the month are "Not I" and "Shave Your Vacation Beard." I've got 20 posts for the year and a plan for several posts in April. Good to go.

Goal 3: Write 25 letters.
I wrote two so far. I wanted to write three. Hopefully I'll sneak one more in by the end of the month. I'm at five for the year.

Big Wins for the Month:
One big win was the Dancing for the Dream charity event that Emily and I danced at. It was a big risk for me and definitely took me out of my comfort zone. Preparing to do something (foxtrotting) that one is bad at in front of a couple hundred people can be quite daunting. After a lot of practice, we performed well on game day and had a fun night with friends and family. It was a very rewarding experience.

Another big win was our family's Spring Break trip. Our first major vacation as a family went off without a hitch. Again, good people = great time.

Challenges that Lie Ahead:
As if the foxtrot weren't out of my comfort zone enough, I've committed to coaching 5-6 year old girls youth soccer. I know nothing about soccer. Or 5-6 year old girls. It's time to go to work.

Memorable Quotes from the month:

• "The real measure of our wealth is how much we'd be worth if we lost all our money." - John Henry Jowett
• "Our churches are filled with Christians who are idling in intellectual neutral. As Christians, their minds are going to waste. One result of this is an immature, superficial faith. People who simply ride the roller coaster of emotional experience are cheating themselves out of a deeper and richer Christian faith by neglecting the intellectual side of that faith." - William Lane Craig
• "We know we understand an opposing view only when we are able to articulate it and receive the affirmation of our opponent that we have accurately represented his position. Only then can we proceed to argue against it. - Robert Booth
• "No verse of Scripture yields its meaning to lazy people." - A.W. Pink

Interesting Links:

• Jealousy and Regret Are Great Teachers
• Two Sets of Wants
• Astonishing Message . . .

Thanks for a great March. Many, many blessings, and many more to come.

Real Rest

At some point in every day, I complain about how tired I am. At some point in every day, somebody complains to me about how tired they are. Everybody is tired. We're tired from not enough sleep, from too much work, from too much play, etc. Some nights I don't sleep enough because there's too much worry running through my head. Other nights I don't sleep because I have young children. Some nights I stay up late getting work done; others, I stay up too late watching TV. I get tired of my job, tired of checking papers, tired of attitudes, tired of the same old-same old, tired of battling, of dealing with difficult people, of my alarm clock, of cleaning my house, and on and on and on. Some of my coaching friends have even invented an entire fatigue sub-category: when a season is going particularly tough, they are fond of saying, "I'm the kind of tired that sleep won't fix." Exhaustion is everywhere. With more money, more technology, more caffeine, and more privilege than any other time in history, why can't we find rest?

Perhaps we're looking for rest in all the wrong places. I know I am an awful lot. Brain-blurry, I often collapse on my couch after the girls are in bed and convince myself I "deserve" some TV time. Yet I've never felt refreshed or rested after an evening of TV. Or I check Facebook or Twitter, trying to escape the fatigue in front of me. At least then I'm reading about how tired other people are. I attempt to escape mental fatigue through activity like exercise. I go to bed sooner and command my body and brain to fall asleep - NOW! - Do it! Futile.

I've forgotten the promises of real rest.

"There remains therefore a rest for the people of God. For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased from his works as God did from His. Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest. . ." (Hebrews 4:9-11)

"Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

"The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside still waters.
He restoreth my soul." (Psalm 23)

It will be easy this week, this Holy Week, to be too busy to realize this and  too tired to care. We are all weary, burdened, heavy-laden, exhausted, beaten down, and just done. All of us, in some way. Look to the cross, then, where the real Source of rest is waiting to restore your soul.

"Not I," Said the Blogger

In one of my favorite childhood stories, the Little Red Hen wants to make some bread (or pizza, as is the case in my kids' newer, hipper version). At every step, that motivated hen is looking for some help, and at every step, every barnyard animal says one at a time, "Not I." The Little Red Hen presses on, unflappable, and makes the bread anyway. She doesn't complain or anything. I would have laid a serious guilt trip on the cat and duck who were too busy, but that Little Red Hen just does her thing. Pretty inspirational, if you ask me.

I came across another place where the phrase, "Not I," plays a prominent role. When Jesus is sitting at the Last Supper, he mentions to the disciples that not only will he be betrayed, it will be by one of them. They each respond, "Surely not I, Lord?" (Matt. 26:22)

A recent sermon (Scott Davis) got me to see this passage in a new light. I never really recognized the doubt in their voices until now. These are his disciples, the ones who have spent the most time with him, the ones he has groomed to work after His death, and they're not entirely sure it won't be them that does the betraying. Each didn't think it was them. Each didn't want it to be them. But each still had to ask the question. What they seem to be saying is, "I wouldn't do that. Would I?" And perhaps they realize, deep down in the corners of their sin that they've suppressed in public but not in private, that they are each indeed capable of a betrayal of that scale.

Later in Matthew (26 & 27) we see the sins and failures of three prominent figures as the events of the crucifixion pass. It is easy to sit back and judge their failures, pointing out their weaknesses as instruction for "the lost."

The first is Caiphas, the high priest. This dude asks Jesus if He is the Messiah. Jesus responds that he is, and Caiphas screams out in disbelief. He asked a question that he had already decided the answer to. His sin is that of a closed heart. He already has his mind made up about Jesus, and he stands in firm unbelief, his only goal to affirm what he already had decided was true. Surely not I, Lord? says the blogger. Or perhaps I am capable. Haven't I chosen to hold to aspects of faith and only afterward attempted to find "proof" that I was right? Haven't I at times sought people I knew would agree with me, who would not challenge my belief? Haven't I at times stood confident in my "knowledge" of Jesus, ceasing to seek to know and understand more?

Then there's poor Judas, the one who did betray. Judas' failure in this passage is not, however, the betrayal. By this point he has realized what he has done and is remorseful, attempting to "fix" it by throwing the 30 pieces of silver into the temple. What does this show us? A man with a self-consumed heart, who looked only at his own appearance and at his own action. He attempted to hide the external evidence (the silver) and then hanged himself, effectively trying to take his own action to fix the unfixable. Surely not I, Lord? says the blogger. But wasn't that me trying to "atone" for mistakes, trying to behave my way out of the guilt of my sin? Or hiding the external evidence of my heart with a smile and proper behavior? Or being so consumed with fixing me through self-improvement and effort that I forgot to focus on God?

And let's not forget Peter, he of the weak heart, of the triple denial. Peter, the one with great confidence in safe places, crumbles under pressure. Who would possibly deny Christ mere hours after being with him, after years of walking with him? Surely not I, Lord? says the blogger. But wasn't that me, who when asked why I moved out to Sutherland, Nebraska, was hesitant to explain that it was because God said so? Or my weak faith that didn't really believe God was capable of healing my friend's body and heart, chalking it up to too ridiculous to pray for? Or my thoughtful words in Sunday School class that crumbled into angry epithets under the pressure of coaching?

In every miscue made by every figure in the Bible, I want it to not be true of me. Yet there I am. Lest I make Judas' mistake of self-focus once again, however, I take this Lent season to look to the cross, to the One who washed away all that Caiphas, Judas, Peter, and I did out of weakness in one terrible, wonderful day.

He died? For me? Surely not I, Lord? Yes, absolutely, 100% for me.

Shave Your Vacation Beard, and Other Spring Break Lessons

I just got back from a week-long Spring Break journey with Emily and the girls to Kansas City - Oklahoma City - Austin. Some thoughts I picked up about traveling (and life) along the way:

1. Underpromise. Overdeliver.
After 6 frustrating hours in the car on day 2, all my girls were looking forward to was going nuts in the hotel pool. We'd been selling that as the end goal, as their prize after a day of peaceful co-existence locked in the Stratus. When we got to the hotel, they jumped out of the car and basically started stripping their clothes off the second we got into the hotel room. Only one problem - the pool was closed for repairs. Serious, serious dive in morale among the troops. They had been promised this. They had packed swimsuits and kickboards solely for this. For nothing.

I refused to promise anything the rest of the trip. We arranged for a swimming day once we got to Austin, but I didn't tell them anything until we got to the facility. I kept a zoo trip and a visit to a TV station to see Aunt Aly do her morning set secret till the day of. I was hero on those days.

2. Expect setbacks. Have a Target nearby.
The only way to overcome the desperate situation of no pool was to buy my children's affections. Target was 5 miles away, so we offered the despairing duo of daughters the chance to pick out a toy at Target to play with in the hotel. No remorse. We now have a meowing, walking cat named Brinkley and new art stampers with ink that got us through most of Kansas.

Another day, Leah got carsick. A lot. All over her seat. Target to the rescue! One new booster seat later, we weren't battling vomit smells, and everybody was happily on their way to the zoo.

3. Stay simple. Play simple.
Our goal was not so much to see places, but people. It was a good goal. We stayed with Emily's sister, my sister, and some college friends. We laughed a lot, shared good stories, and made some new ones. Had some great homemade lasagna and buttermilk pancakes. We grilled. I spent two afternoons hitting a bucket of baseballs with my friend. And we dutifully followed Ben Franklin's maxim about fish and visitor's smelling after three days. We really had very little agenda other than spending time with good people. I wouldn't change a thing.

4. Chase life goals.
Elise indicated to us that it was her "life goal" to see elephants in person. Another time when we overpromised was when we went to the Omaha zoo and told her elephants would be there. A week before we left, we read a press release on their website indicating that the elephants were gone. Once we hit the zoo in OKC, we were on a mission. We allowed no distractions; we were adamant about making this happen, and we did. That's what vacations should be about - chasing life goals. It's time to write down some new ones.

5. Suckers save the day.
Every time a situation got a little tense - Elise skinned a knee, Leah skinned her ego in a backseat brawl, Emily asked, "Who wants a sucker?" Immediate peace, joy, and happiness. My attitude in traffic even improved with a tasty, Watermelon-flavored dum-dum.

6. Shave your vacation beard.
It's pretty much my policy not to shave on vacation. I just don't feel like it. But eventually we came home, and it was time to get back to reality. The escape of a vacation is great and often necessary; however, when it's time to be home, be home. I shaved the vacation beard, shoveled the snow, and cleaned the house. The vacation is done and it's time to get back to the day-to-day. Vacation improves reality; lingering on vacation too long cheapens reality. Also, I was starting to look homeless. The beard is gone, and I'm ready to teach on Monday.

2200 miles and good people will teach you a lot. Thanks to all along the way for making our first big family trip a good one.

Save the World; Save Yourself - Michael Scott's Win, Win, Win

In its Michael Scott heyday, the TV show The Office was really, really good. One of my favorite clips from an early episode is when Michael coins the phrase, "Win-Win-Win." Rather than just two people winning on some sort of compromise of inter-office politics, this was the ultimate victory for everybody involved. Of course, comedic irony (as you can see in the clip) usually determined that the win-win-win was actually the most ridiculous of options. Still, it sounded good and was quite entertaining.

In my Bible reading today, I came across a realistic win-win-win.

First, I think it's safe to say that we all want joy in our lives. Given the option between joy and pain, or even joy and just fine, most sane people are going to choose joy. Joy is what we chase on a daily basis. Sometimes we're dead wrong about how to obtain it, but it is what we want. Joy is good, but it's not just good for ourselves. Writes Paul in Philemon:

"Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints." (1:7)

The lesson here is that joy multiplies. When you have joy in your life, you share that joy - you "refresh the hearts" of the saints around you. Your joy brings them joy. Their joy brings joy to more still. Joy multiplies. Who is best to be around first thing in the morning? Someone with joy, or someone with complaints? Which makes your day better? Which helps you help others make their day better? Be joyful for you, but also be joyful for others. It's a win-win-win.

Later, in Hebrews, Paul writes, "But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." (3:13)

We think about encouraging others because they need it. Encouragement is considered a giving act, something selfless to provide a boost to someone in need. Here's the thing, though. Paul is saying that when it's you in need, encourage others. The "encourager" benefits as much as the "encouragee." It is difficult to be "hardened" when softening others. I can't be joyless when providing encouragement. In essence, this selfless act improves the self's soul. Win-win-win.

Most people want to save their own lives. A few want to save the world. What Paul wants you to know is that by doing one well, you'll usually accomplish both.

Go get some joy. Encourage somebody.

Why Sports: A Warning

I wrote several posts in February offering the reasons why sports are good. I end this series by offering a warning, however: while sports may be good, they most certainly are not God.

For starters, sports will not satisfy. Not the way God does. I have finished seasons with winning records and losing records as a coach; I have never ended a season satisfied with the number of wins achieved. Nor have I ever met a coach who has. Undefeated or winless, all teams, all coaches, all players have problems. Winning will not fill the emptiness inside of all of us.

I remember when the Phillies finally won the World Series in 2008. As a longtime Phillies fan who had never been alive for a World Series victory of theirs, I remember eagerly anticipating the crowning moment. I watched nearly every pitch of that post season, just waiting to jump off my couch in the emphatic triumph of knowing I picked the right group of people I didn't know and with whom I have no connection to cheer for in a game of baseball. The night they won it, despite being bed-ridden with the flu, I did jump up and pump my fists, letting the victory wash over me. Somehow, though, the next day I had the same problems, the same frustrations, the same sin as the day before. Nobody treated me differently because I cheered for a World Series champion.

I remember when my beloved Panthers overcame Kansas in the NCAA basketball tournament. My mid-major alma mater was the talk of the sports world for a week, having knocked off the Goliath of the tournament. I was euphoric. Four nights later I watched them lose in the Sweet Sixteen and was in the depths of hell. Despite all evidence to the contrary, that Panther victory did not save my soul.

Sports will let you down. Sports will let you down primarily because sports are played by, watched, coached, and officiated by fallen humanity. People will let you down. They will screw you over when you thought they could be trusted. They will lie and cheat. Undeserving jerks will win. Good guys will lose; and when they do win, they'll become jerks. At best, you can pour your heart and soul into overcoming the odds, work tirelessly, and come out on top, only to wake up the next day and realize the world has moved on. At worst, sports will rip your heart out and waltz on what's left.

Everything that I can think of that is wrong with sports comes from trying to make sports into an idol. Where sports goes wrong is when we try to make them God. They are not all-satisfying. Sports cannot bring me the joy that Christ can. Or the love. Or the adventure. Sports are good for so many reasons. But they are a side dish, and we are called to the feast. Snacks are good. But they pale in comparison to the main course.

Enjoy sports. Love God.

Note: This will be the final post in this series. It's been instrumental for me to clearly define what sports can be in my life, especially as I seek to be purposeful about my involvement in them. Hopefully you've found something useful as well. If you want to revisit any of the posts, I've linked them below:

• MMA and Me
• Doing the Difficult
• Get Real
• The People
• An Eagle's View