Jonah and the whale, or the big fish, or the leviathan, or whatever else is trending at the time is a story told to all ages. Jonah attempts to disobey God and hide; God helps him find a better hiding spot inside some large fish's belly. Drowning in fish guts, Jonah learns his lesson and is rewarded with a vomit-induced ride onto shore to finally do the job God sent him to do. The lesson here is easy - don't avoid God's commands for personal convenience, especially if you plan to sail in the near future.
The book of Jonah does not end there, though, and the rest of the story is hardly told. It seems that those wicked people of Ninevah, those depraved degenerates whom Jonah has been sent to chastise and forewarn of their impending doom, actually listen to Jonah and repent. Here's where the story gets good (and familiar).
Jonah is furious with this outcome. After all his trouble, he wanted a front row seat to some serious Sodom and Gomorrah action. These are wicked people, after all, who deserve to be struck down with great vengeance and furious anger, to use a Pulp Fiction reference. Instead, God relents, much to Jonah's dismay.
Logically, this seems backward. He was there preaching, they listened, and everyone is safe; why wouldn't Jonah be thrilled with this? The answer - he's just like all of us who often root for evil people to stay evil. See, when the jerk with whom you work performs another enormous act of jackassery, ask yourself this question: are you happy about it? Do you recount the tale for others, relishing in the growing evil of one you've already deem awful? When the athlete you hate gets arrested or is thrown off a team or provides one more outrageous, asinine interview to the media, do you soak it in? When your boss makes one more incompetent decisions, or provides another shameless lie, are you somehow comforted?
Shamefully, I am. It's comforting because it's less complicated. It means I was right about them, that I was clever enough to see them for the jerk, idiot, or devil that they are. I am good, they are not - clear lines are drawn with me on the right side. The more mistakes they make, the less I have to think and feel and hope for them. If they're evil, they're hopeless, and certainly I'm not responsible for the well-being of the hopelessly evil in the world?
Jonah was backward, and so am I, and I'm guessing so are many of my readers. While it's nearly impossible to admit to hoping that those we despise remain contemptible, it's not hard to understand why it happens.
Don't miss the part after the fish upchuck. Jonah sounds selfish and godless in his error, and so do we.
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