Taking a Daughter's Advice

"Elise, are you frustrated with me?"

I asked this question about an hour and a half ago to my almost 4-year old daughter after a very long day. Tired and refusing to nap, fatigue got the best of her today - there were tears because a train was going by, because she bit her fingers (twice) while eating pizza, because she tripped and fell three times, and because I punished her after she hit her sister over the head with a toy, said she was sorry, and five minutes later she took toys away from her and threw them across the room for her to have to chase. I had yelled a lot today and was visibly frustrated. Outside and alone on our patio, I asked if she was frustrated with me.

"Yes, Daddy."

"Why?

"Because you used bad words today."

I was curious. "Which bad words did I use?"

"You said doggone it and dang it."

"Elise, those words aren't so bad. We can say those words." She apparently forgot when I told her to use her damn fork to eat her pizza. I didn't remind her.

"Do you think I was grumpy today, Elise?"

"Yes."

"Were you grumpy, too?"

Sheepish, now, and barely audible: "Yes."

I then admitted that I haven't slept a lot lately, and that probably made me grumpy. I also pointed out that she hadn't slept a lot either, which was probably why she was grumpy as well.

"I have an idea, Daddy. We should ask God to help us tomorrow to not be grumpy and to get more rest."

And that was the profound moment of the day. Of the month, probably. July has been basically ruined for me in many ways by the most poorly run class I've ever had to take and the insane requirements for completing it. I wake up, read my assignments, and get mad. I do the pointless assignments and get more mad. I go to bed mad, worked up about how I waste four hours a day on this garbage. I've complained all month, can't sleep, can't write, can't focus on reading, and can't really enjoy anything without this black cloud of a class hovering over me. And it took four weeks and the advice of my daughter to get myself to this point.

If you believe in God, pray in the tough times. Even if those tough times, like this one, are somewhat self-inflicted.

May God answer our prayer tonight.

Refocus

As I conclude this brief series of posts containing notes about spiritual disciplines, one idea jumps out at me in this whole process of "training wisely" as a Christian. It's easy, especially for me, to get caught up focusing on the self when working through spiritual disciplines. The questions one asks themselves is in what areas am I weak, where can I get better, and what can I do to be a stronger and more effective disciple. These are worthy, but dangerous questions.

Assuming there are 20 spiritual disciplines one can work through (and I am completely making that number up), I think the "practice of servanthood" (today's topic) can be more important than all the others. In fact, you could probably focus on this one and ignore the other 19 and be better off than if you worked on the 19 others and not this one. Focus solely on the needs of others for a time, and it's amazing how close to God you can feel. In my mind, the more I can forget myself and my supposed "needs," the happier I become.

Some notes on the practice of servanthood:

• To work on this, you've got to work on your own pride. At the deepest level, pride is the choice to exclude both God and other people from their rightful place in our hearts. It is essentially comparative in nature, and it destroys our capacity to love. You've got to kill pride and replace it with humility.
• Speaking of humility: You will know you have begun to make progress in humility when you find that you cease to be preoccupied with yourself. Also, humility is the decision to let God be God.
• Nothing disciplines the inordinate desires of the flesh (all the crap we want to do and shouldn't) like service. . . The flesh whines against service and screams against hidden service.
• When Jesus came in the form of a servant, he was not disguising who God is, He was revealing it.
• The reason we help others is not because we are strong and they need us; it is because if we don't help them, we will end up a hopeless relic.
• Serve everyone, even the difficult people. The gap between God and the most spiritual among us is far greater than the gap between the most spiritual and the least.
• If you're too busy to serve those around you, you're probably too busy. And too focused on self.

**(all notes come from Ortberg's The Life You've Always Wanted)

Don't Forget to Party

As a tribute to my wife's family's family reunion that concluded this morning with church in a barn, I offer today's spiritual discipline notes on the practice of celebration:

• The thing that often keeps me from experiencing joy is a preoccupation with my self.
• Joy is at the heart of God himself - He is the happiest being in the universe.
• Jesus' words to us: "I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete."
• "To miss out on joy is to miss out on the reason for your existence."
• Joy is not optional - it is a Biblical command.
• "The joy of the Lord is your strength" (from the Psalms). Its absence will create weakness.
• You must take responsibility for your own joy.
• When we celebrate, we exercise our ability to see and feel goodness in the simplest gifts of God.
• If we wait until conditions are perfect to celebrate or enjoy life, we will still be waiting when we die.
• True joy comes only to those who have devoted their lives to something greater than personal comfort.

There is much to celebrate. Don't delay.

**(all notes come from Ortberg's The Life You've Always Wanted)

Hurry Up and Slow Down

My first post from old notes on the spiritual disciplines comes regarding a discipline that I just can't get right. I've done a lot of things to get close to God over the past few years, but I've struggled mightily at forcing myself to do this one. Today's notes are regarding the practice of "slowing":

• You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.
• For many, the great danger is not that they will renounce their faith, but that they will become so distracted and rushed and preoccupied that they will settle for a mediocre version of it.
• Hurry will keep us consumed by "the cares and riches and pleasures of this life" and prevent Jesus' way from taking root in our hearts.
• Following Jesus cannot be done at a sprint. If you want to follow, you can't go faster that the one who's leading.
• Jesus often had much to do, but he never did it in a way that interfered with his ability to give love when love was called for.
• Love and hurry are fundamentally incompatible.
• Solitude is the one place where we can gain freedom from the forces of society that will otherwise relentlessly mold us.

Great thoughts for me personally as I trudge through my July grad class. There are seasons in life that require a quicker pace than others. I don't have a great answer in how to eliminate hurry during those times. But I do know those times cannot dominate our lives. Unfortunately, this pace has dominated mine for a long time.

**(all notes come from Ortberg's The Life You've Always Wanted)

Drills From a Former Off-Season

While rifling through old files searching for a document the other day, I came across some notes I took several years ago from the book The Life You've Always Wanted by John Ortberg. The notes are on spiritual disciplines, and an immediate connection came to me regarding these notes and recent posts of mine on this blog.

First, I recently extolled the virtues of spiritual disciplines, comparing them to ball-handling drills in basketball that even the most experienced and talented players still complete. Secondly, I recently wrote about the importance of using the off-seasons of life to prepare for "game days" when there is no time to prepare. I am currently right smack dab in the middle of a game day as I move from June (umpiring and basketball month) to July (grad school month). I've begun a class that I'm growing to hate more and more by the day and that is demanding about 3-4 hours a day. I need the reminders from these notes. I did the heavy lifting by reading the book and taking notes many years ago. I need to use that preparation now to be effective in a time when I can't really "train."

I've decided the next few posts, then, will be some of these notes. It will help me use my prior training, and hopefully it will encourage many of you as well. I begin today with some notes about spiritual disciplines themselves:

1. Learning to think, feel, and act like Jesus is at least as demanding as learning to run a marathon or playing the piano. We must, therefore, train like it is.

2. Spiritual disciplines are not:

• a barometer of spirituality or a way to earn favor with God
• necessarily unpleasant

3. Definition of discipline: any activity I can do by direct effort that will help me do what I cannot now do by direct effort.

4. Definition of a disciplined person: someone who can do the right thing at the right time in the right way with the right spirit.

5. "A disciplined follower of Jesus is someone who discerns when laughter, gentleness, silence, healing words, or prophetic indignation is called for, and offers it promptly, effectively, and lovingly."