Lessons from Camp: The Word of the Day is "Adversity"

During the week-long camp we run here in Mason City for kids in our program from elementary through high school, one of the activities we do at the end of each day is putting the kids on a team and playing 5-on-5. After an hour and a half of drills and skills work, the kids are eager to play the game of basketball (though often not using the skills we tried to teach them just minutes prior). We keep score and have the teams' records posted all week. Inevitably, the officiating is questioned.

By mid-week, our head coach had heard enough complaining about the officiating, particularly from the elementary kids. On Wednesday when the elementary session was beginning, Coach began by saying, "Guys, the word of the day today is 'adversity.' Does anyone know what that word means?" The 3rd through 5th grade crowd had a lot of guesses, but none were quite sure. As an English teacher, I felt quite good; we were emphasizing vocabulary skills and basketball together.

Coach told them that adversity was when things don't go your way, and sometimes you have to work hard to overcome that. Then he asked if anyone could think of any examples of adversity. One kid's hand shot up excitedly. He definitely knew adversity, he said: the air conditioner at his daycare was broken, so he was really, really hot yesterday. He definitely knew what we were talking about.

Eventually, after many other excited examples from the crowd, Coach brought it back to officiating. He let them know that they could plan on a lot of calls not going their way, and they should overcome that adversity by not complaining and just playing basketball. Basically, they should plan on not always getting their way, and they should plan their response when it happens.

At the end of the week we also attended a team camp at UNI with our high school players. Officiating at summer camps is notoriously awful. Those guys simply don't want to blow the whistle because every time they do, the game takes longer. At the end of one of our games, one of our younger players got pushed with two hands as he was taking a shot and didn't get a call. He got up angrily and shouted, "Where's the foul?!"

After the game I talked to him:

Was that the first time you got screwed by a call today?

- No.

Will you get screwed over again today?

- Yeah, probably.

Have you fouled kids today and not gotten called for it?

- Yep.

Then I told him that I was glad he was competitive and that frustration was a natural response. However, when you complain like that, you make yourself look childish, not competitive. I should know - I spent many years in my youth glaring at officials in basketball games and dusting off my knees to protest low strike calls in baseball. It was silly, pointless, and it made me look like a crybaby. I told our player to look like a competitor, not a whiner.

And there's the lesson all of us can use: quit whining and get to work. Misery may love company, and whining might acquire one a lot of attention; however, it's bad attention. In one of the most blessed countries in the world, we perhaps complain the most (to equal our sense of entitlement). The youth at our basketball camps are not out of the ordinary; instead, they are a reflection of our culture and all that it's taught them.

So the word of the day is adversity. Learn to expect it, and plan your response when it does come. If you or I don't, we're not convincing anyone that we've been cheated; we're just setting ourselves up to look like whiners.