Haste, haste

Haste: overly eager speed; a condition of urgency making it necessary to hurry.

My life, probably like many of yours over the month of December, has been a blur of hurry:

• I wake up and hurry to shower and eat breakfast, so I can hurry up and get my girls ready, so we can hurry out of the house to get to the babysitters and work on time.
• I get to school and hurry to get my plans ready for class so that I can hurry up and focus on checking the massive load of papers that need checked before the end of the semester.
• I hurry out of my room at lunch because I know I have a 5 minute walk to and from the cafeteria, giving me 20 minutes total to eat lunch and probably start another pot of coffee for the afternoon.
• I hurry out of my room at the end of the day so that I can get to practice on time, which is a rush now that our school day is longer.
• I hurry home after practice so that I can hopefully see my girls before I go to bed. I often hurry through my supper with the knowledge that both of them need something immediately.
• At night I try to hurry up and get to sleep (which never works), because I know I'm behind on sleep. This is especially true on nights with away games, when I don't get to bed until about 1, desperate to get a couple of hours of sleep before I must wake up and rush to professional development.
• On weekends I rush to get as much done productively as possible once my girls begin napping, because I know it's the only real chance I'll get.

At church at least, I can't hurry. That's often hard because there are times when I sit there and think about everything that needs to get done. Then I rush home to get started on it all.

This morning in church I got all this hurry thrown right back in my face. 'Tis the season for Christmas carols, and one of the songs we sang this morning was "What Child is This?" One refrain that gets repeated in the song is this: "Haste, haste to bring Him laud." That one got me. My entire month has been full of haste, as chronicled above. But I have not been full of haste to bring Christ laud (praise or glory).

Of all activities, events, or tasks worthy of haste, there is none that matches this one. It is this haste that will bring the most satisfaction in a life too hurried to be satisfied with anything.

Risk Equals Reward

I've been extremely pleased with the way the first 3 weeks of the basketball season have gone for our team. I really couldn't ask for more from the team - kids are working hard, this group seems to genuinely enjoy being around each other, and we got an opening night win that involved a lot of hustle, even when the outcome was far from in doubt. I felt really good about it. It was easy to feel good about. It's the best I've felt about basketball in a while.

The end of this week is the first I've really faced disappointment in the new season. We won on Saturday night, but I'd say we played far below our potential. Winning is a dumb thing to be disappointed about; but as a coach, you never want to lose the momentum of playing at your potential. After the game and on the bus ride home, I got a little moody. Quiet. A couple of things hadn't gone perfectly from a coaching perspective at the end of the week, including the Saturday evening performance. I was a little down, and I recognized the feeling.

The feeling I recognized was having something on the line again, and I haven't had as much on the line coaching-wise since the last time I was a head coach. It feels good. Don't get me wrong - I believe I did a good job and brought enthusiasm to my work as the freshman coach. However, I had less control over what was going on, which translated into having less on the line. The highs were never as high, and the lows were never as low.

It all comes back to a phrase that I love teaching my students as it shows itself in literature: risk equals reward. In every aspect of your life, you're either in a high risk or low risk setting. If you risk a lot of time, energy, passion, etc. into something, the rewards can be huge. However, so will the disappointment when it doesn't work out. You can avoid that risk, but you also avoid the chance for the big reward. Anything that doesn't cost you a great deal of risk will not produce an intense reward. This is true of hobbies, relationships, jobs, and even faith.

When thinking about it this morning, I came to the conclusion that I'm lucky to have the opportunity to feel down every once in a while. It means I've got a lot at risk. It means I'm passionate about what I'm doing and that I care a great deal about teaching 18 young men success skills that will extend to the rest of their lives. It means something is on the line again, and I have something to be nervous about. Trust me, life is a lot better when there's something to be nervous about. That means there's something great out there to gain.

It's like this with people, too, especially families. Family members can cause a lot of hurt, worry, or disappointment, both unintentionally and intentionally. I know that since I've had my two girls (or actually since we started to try to have kids), it's like I'm walking around with my heart hanging outside of my body, constantly exposed to the risk of something going wrong. But as much as I hate to worry, I'm realizing that worry is good. It means I've got something great, something at risk. I'd much rather have something to worry about than a carefree lifestyle empty of loved ones.

Losing will happen this basketball season. The season will not go perfectly. More than likely, something will go wrong in a relationship that's important to me as well. Burdens will be carried. But how lucky am I to have something to lose.

It is for this reason that the old hymn lyrics can ring so true:

Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.