Lesson from Larry Littlebird

The course I'm taking this semester for my masters degree is called "Teaching Ethnic Literature." The unit we're on right now is Native American Lit, so I'm working through an anthology of short writings from Native Americans. In it I ran across an autobiographical essay in which the author, Larry Littlebird, recalls anticipating his first hunt with the tribe. The thing he wanted above all else was to kill a deer and prove himself worthy as a man in the tribe. He was in the hunting party, but he himself did not kill a deer. He then writes this:


“Killing a deer isn’t everything to hunting,” my uncles say. “Fasting and praying, a man works hard giving his self to the spirit the deer belongs to. We are only human, we cannot say what our giving should bring. Yes, we want badly to bring home that big buck; we can only work truthfully at doing that. The Creator will see our honesty; we must believe our reward will come about. There should be no disappointment.”


This stood out to me immdediately. I immediatley recognized the disappointment the author describes, because I've felt that disappointment. I also saw the rational advice I’ve been trying to get through my head and heart the past few years. I am only human, and I cannot control the gift I have to contribute. I can only work truthfully and with integrity, and I must believe my reward comes from that. It is not my place to harbor disappointment about my situation, but rather to do all I can where I am.

One of the things that the Bible teaches that I have a real hard time with is the fact that God doesn't need me. I've wanted so badly to earn my worth as a Christian by doing a job that only I could do. But that's not real. An omnipotent God doesn't need my work. God needs my devotion, something far more difficult to offer. It's also a blow to the ego, because essentially, I want to believe that I am of exceptional importance to the world. I want to believe society needs what I have to offer. I even want the pressure and responsibility of knowing that if I don't get done what God has called me to do, that job won't get done. But none of it's true.

I have the opportunity to do whatever of God's work is laid in front of me. The greatest benefit comes to me: I get to learn closeness to God. A secondary benefit is that hopefully I've made someone else's situation better in some way (whether it's through knowledge I share as a teacher, money I donate, help I provide, etc.). But it's not my job to tell God what I feel like doing or what I believe I would be good at. Moses tried that, and then I imagine he almost wet himself when God appeared in a flaming bush. Jonah tried that, and he became fish vomit. Peter tried it, and Christ referred to him as Satan.

Live well, serve well, and stay connected to the Creator. The lesson taught in those words and in this text as a whole is one that is not only applicable to me, but to all people of all worldviews. Do your work well. Passionately pursue the goals you’ve defined. Many times they will work out. Sometimes, however, they won’t. And when they don’t, you have to be prepared to embrace the quality of your work instead of the results.