My blog turned one year old this week. It's tough to notice - this is one of the priorities in my life that has been on the backburner for much of the summer. I've written only about once every other week. But it does call for some reflection.
The biggest thing I can say is that I started with a goal - a worthy goal - of seeing daily events (of the world, of my life, in what I read) through a biblical worldview. I titled the blog "Prone to Wander" after the lyrics in the hymn "Come Thou Fount" because I felt I was prone to wander away from this. One year later, I think I might be worse at this. I have wandered greatly lately; and just as all the other times I've wandered, I haven't come out better for it.
I began the digging out process tonight, the "training" if you will to "work the fat off of the soul" (Hemingway quote). I opened my Bible for the first time in about a month and a half. While reading I realized just how stupid I've been during one of the most highly-stressed summers of my life.
Here's why I've been stupid: I tried to do this thing alone. The fact that the stress I put on myself due to my insane schedule was self-inflicted led me to carry the burden mentally alone. My wife helped me out a tremendous amount, but I tried not to burden her with the toll this was taking on my sanity. Mostly I felt guilty for putting her in a position where she was busier because I was busier. My family, especially my and Emily's parents, provided a tremendous amount of help as well. Again, though, I almost felt guilty every time I had to ask for that help. I felt like the guy who took on too much, so much that he had to find others to help him run his family. More guilt. More emotional burden. And the more there was, the more I tried to fight it alone.
I tried to fight it alone because my worldview sucked, because I had been wandering. I may write more about this summer and what I've learned, and I might not; but one incontrovertible fact is that I did next to nothing to maintain my relationship with Christ. If I had, I would have realized that I shouldn't be doing anything alone, no matter how worthy a goal or how much guilt I had assigned to it. Tonight I read about Christ as he's going to the death. In some of his final words to his disciples before he is crucified, he tells them, "Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full." Later, he leads by example: he prays for himself. He asks for help. He is not in it alone.
I'm an idiot.
Year 2 begins with the same goals. I've enjoyed the commentary shared here, and this blog writing has been a very important part of my life over the last year. I enter year 2 with more knowledge, with more flaws, and with more followers than what I started with to hopefully push the conversation.
I pray that none of us be alone.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
The Risk of Relationships
I had to read John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men for grad school this week. I've become a big Steinbeck fan over the past few years because I really think he gets it - he portrays human nature very well. One of the aspects of humanity he describes especially well in this book is the reality of relationships.
Most of the characters in the book are very independent. They rely on themselves and don't owe anything to anybody. The two main characters though, George and Lennie, have decided to travel around together. They have taken responsibility for each other. It becomes very clear early in the novel in the passage below that George resents this responsibility at times:
"God a'mighty, if I was alone I could live so easy. I could go get a job an' work, an' no trouble. No mess at all, and when the end of the month come I could take my fifty bucks and go into town and get whatever I want. Why, I could stay in a cat house all night. I could eat any place I want, hotel or any place, and order any damn thing I could think of. An I could do all that every damn month. . . An' whatta I got, I got you!"
Here's the first thing that came to my head when I read those early pages: What parent hasn't had similar thoughts about the freedom available to them before they had children? What spouse hasn't thought about that when they want to do something or buy something or schedule something but then must check first? Wouldn't life be so much easier?
This is a natural feeling. Yet George remains with Lennie, and I haven't left my wife or my children. Why? Because relationships are worth it. There is a great cost to them - you give up some personal freedom and you suddenly find yourself in some way responsible for someone else's happiness. However, you have someone to give a "hoot in hell" about you, as the characters in the text say. George understands this, and it's part of his grand romantic picture of the American Dream for him and Lennie that drives them throughout the text. The good relationships are worth the cost. The other workers are described as "the loneliest guys in the world. They got no family. They don't belong no place. . . They ain't got nothing to look ahead to."
Those characters avoid relationships because of the cost and the risk involved. They don't want to hurt. The only women they chase are whores, because the only thing required of them is money. They engage in casual conversations and horseshoe tournaments with the other workers because it passes the time, and it's tough for a friend to let you down if all you're doing is playing horseshoes. They'll never know the value of great companionship, but they'll never have to know the hurt of disappointment either.
I teach my students that risk = reward. It's true of goals, and it's true of relationships. You can only win big if you're willing to lose big. If you only bet/risk a little, you can only gain a little.
To me, this is human nature right here. It's as real as it gets. Everyone must decide - is this relationship worth the risk? Do I risk my time, my personal freedom, my emotions, and my dreams on this person hoping that the relationship pays off? Or do I remain aloof and never get too close to family, friends, a spouse? Do I never have children? All to avoid the possibility of risk? I think this is universally true of every relationship - sibling, parental, romantic, friend. I'm sure all of us have been burned - been hurt by those we allowed to get close to us. And I hope we all have seen situations where the risk is worth it.
When I thought about this today, I realized that this is probably a big part of the reason many people aren't chasing down a relationship with Christ. There's risk involved. I'm sure the diehard, life-long Christians out there might be thinking, "Risk? What risk?" Oh, there's definitely risk. Am I willing to risk changing my priorities and my actions for this relationship? What if the reward is fake, isn't real (and there are plenty of voices out there sending that mesage)? What if all the time I put into prayer or Bible reading doesn't produce results? What if Christ lets me down?
The reward can only be great to those who risk greatly. But we shouldn't be shocked: Christ advertised as much - "For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it." (Mark 8:35)
Most of the characters in the book are very independent. They rely on themselves and don't owe anything to anybody. The two main characters though, George and Lennie, have decided to travel around together. They have taken responsibility for each other. It becomes very clear early in the novel in the passage below that George resents this responsibility at times:
"God a'mighty, if I was alone I could live so easy. I could go get a job an' work, an' no trouble. No mess at all, and when the end of the month come I could take my fifty bucks and go into town and get whatever I want. Why, I could stay in a cat house all night. I could eat any place I want, hotel or any place, and order any damn thing I could think of. An I could do all that every damn month. . . An' whatta I got, I got you!"
Here's the first thing that came to my head when I read those early pages: What parent hasn't had similar thoughts about the freedom available to them before they had children? What spouse hasn't thought about that when they want to do something or buy something or schedule something but then must check first? Wouldn't life be so much easier?
This is a natural feeling. Yet George remains with Lennie, and I haven't left my wife or my children. Why? Because relationships are worth it. There is a great cost to them - you give up some personal freedom and you suddenly find yourself in some way responsible for someone else's happiness. However, you have someone to give a "hoot in hell" about you, as the characters in the text say. George understands this, and it's part of his grand romantic picture of the American Dream for him and Lennie that drives them throughout the text. The good relationships are worth the cost. The other workers are described as "the loneliest guys in the world. They got no family. They don't belong no place. . . They ain't got nothing to look ahead to."
Those characters avoid relationships because of the cost and the risk involved. They don't want to hurt. The only women they chase are whores, because the only thing required of them is money. They engage in casual conversations and horseshoe tournaments with the other workers because it passes the time, and it's tough for a friend to let you down if all you're doing is playing horseshoes. They'll never know the value of great companionship, but they'll never have to know the hurt of disappointment either.
I teach my students that risk = reward. It's true of goals, and it's true of relationships. You can only win big if you're willing to lose big. If you only bet/risk a little, you can only gain a little.
To me, this is human nature right here. It's as real as it gets. Everyone must decide - is this relationship worth the risk? Do I risk my time, my personal freedom, my emotions, and my dreams on this person hoping that the relationship pays off? Or do I remain aloof and never get too close to family, friends, a spouse? Do I never have children? All to avoid the possibility of risk? I think this is universally true of every relationship - sibling, parental, romantic, friend. I'm sure all of us have been burned - been hurt by those we allowed to get close to us. And I hope we all have seen situations where the risk is worth it.
When I thought about this today, I realized that this is probably a big part of the reason many people aren't chasing down a relationship with Christ. There's risk involved. I'm sure the diehard, life-long Christians out there might be thinking, "Risk? What risk?" Oh, there's definitely risk. Am I willing to risk changing my priorities and my actions for this relationship? What if the reward is fake, isn't real (and there are plenty of voices out there sending that mesage)? What if all the time I put into prayer or Bible reading doesn't produce results? What if Christ lets me down?
The reward can only be great to those who risk greatly. But we shouldn't be shocked: Christ advertised as much - "For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it." (Mark 8:35)
Sunday, June 20, 2010
To be a Man
One real concern I've had over the past couple of years is that I would never really turn into a man. As I write this, I realize that to be a horribly ambiguous statement, so let me clarify. A man, to me, knows how to fix stuff. He knows how to build stuff, he's got a lot of tools, and he's got a truck to haul his tools or the stuff he's fixing. All I have is a truck. I don't know how to fix my truck when it breaks, I struggled mightily in "building" a roll-top cover for it, and mostly I haul nothing. I'm not a man. My goal is to some day be a man. My children will want a man in the house.
Luckily, my father is teaching me about being a man. He's got the truck full of tools and the know-how to use them. When he comes to my house, he asks for the list. "The list" is all the stuff I don't know how to do that I'm too cheap to pay for someone else to do. This is what he does for me. He comes to my house to work; if I pay close attention, I also get to learn. I learned English and athletics while growing up. That led me into a career, and I don't regret it. Now, however, I want to learn how to be a man. Slowly, one project at a time, I'm learning from my father.
I don't know how many 30 year olds will admit to needing their father. Our individualistic culture has encouraged us to not need anybody. I've got no problem, though, admitting that I need mine.
Here's the thing, though. In all of this learning, I've learned something completely different and more important about being a man and being a father. My dad gives his kids what he can give. He does for us what he can do and is available to give what he's got. I look around my house, and half of the furniture in it has been created by him. I can't walk through a room in my house without pointing to something Dad has made better. He knows what he has to offer, he recognizes need, and he's there.
I doubt I'll ever make furniture. I hope to get good with power tools someday, but mostly I just hope to learn their names soon. What I can do, though, if I'm going to be a man in my house, is give what I've got to give, whatever that is, wherever my kids are. My father taught me that.
Luckily, my father is teaching me about being a man. He's got the truck full of tools and the know-how to use them. When he comes to my house, he asks for the list. "The list" is all the stuff I don't know how to do that I'm too cheap to pay for someone else to do. This is what he does for me. He comes to my house to work; if I pay close attention, I also get to learn. I learned English and athletics while growing up. That led me into a career, and I don't regret it. Now, however, I want to learn how to be a man. Slowly, one project at a time, I'm learning from my father.
I don't know how many 30 year olds will admit to needing their father. Our individualistic culture has encouraged us to not need anybody. I've got no problem, though, admitting that I need mine.
Here's the thing, though. In all of this learning, I've learned something completely different and more important about being a man and being a father. My dad gives his kids what he can give. He does for us what he can do and is available to give what he's got. I look around my house, and half of the furniture in it has been created by him. I can't walk through a room in my house without pointing to something Dad has made better. He knows what he has to offer, he recognizes need, and he's there.
I doubt I'll ever make furniture. I hope to get good with power tools someday, but mostly I just hope to learn their names soon. What I can do, though, if I'm going to be a man in my house, is give what I've got to give, whatever that is, wherever my kids are. My father taught me that.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Fruit or Folly?
"Never mistake activity for achievement."
-John Wooden
About a month ago I wrote a post called training in which I discussed how time consuming having young children can be and how little time I had to do some of the things I enjoy, especially Bible reading and prayer. Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that I would have to use my previous training of reading and prayer in order to live well in this current stage of my life. I'm testing that theory this month.
In another self-inflicted move of "busyness," I've filled my calendar in the month of June, but I've done it with priorities. Other than watching my girls all summer, there are 3 outside activities I'm devoting time to:
-John Wooden
About a month ago I wrote a post called training in which I discussed how time consuming having young children can be and how little time I had to do some of the things I enjoy, especially Bible reading and prayer. Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that I would have to use my previous training of reading and prayer in order to live well in this current stage of my life. I'm testing that theory this month.
In another self-inflicted move of "busyness," I've filled my calendar in the month of June, but I've done it with priorities. Other than watching my girls all summer, there are 3 outside activities I'm devoting time to:
- Coaching Basketball: To those of you who haven't heard, I'm now the assistant varsity coach at Mason City. This is the position I've wanted for a while working with the coach I've wanted to work with for a while. If this scenario hadn't occurred, I was probably done coaching. June is filled with camps and open gyms.
- Umpiring high school baseball games. Usually 4 nights a week I'm on a baseball diamond.
- Grad school. Completing two courses simultaneously beginning this week. It's a summer session, so that means more work in less time.
Though my schedule is now way past full, I maintain that these were good decisions driven by some of my core values. I believe I can improve the lives of young athletes through coaching. It provides me the influence that I can have in no other way to help teach kids life skills. Umpiring is good money usually with people I enjoy being around. This allows me to bring home decent money over the summer to my family without ever having to bring my girls to daycare. Grad school is making me a better teacher. And helping me bring home more money for my family. It also could open up opportunities later for positions of greater influence.
This could also all be a huge waste if not approached correctly. Either I remain in God with these activities and produce real fruit, or I engage in activity for activity's sake and simply run from one place to another. I realized tonight that in order for this to be a productive month, I've got to make sure:
- I'm coaching basketball passionately to build up kids, not to be recognized in a position of greater importance than my last one. This can't be about me, and I've got to be very careful about that.
- My job is to serve as an umpire, just as if I were serving God. These games aren't for me to survive and collect a check; they are another opportunity to represent Christ.
- My motivation for grad school must not be to improve my standing with others, but to improve my skills in working with others.
Bottom line - either I'm with God in these endeavors, or I'm on my own trying to survive. I've done both before in my life. My experience tells me John Wooden is right.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The Death of Expectations
Though I haven't been able to write over the past couple of weeks because of my schedule, I have been collecting instances in which I've noticed a rash of low or non-existent expectations, especially around teenagers.
1. The phrase "Well at least I'm being honest," has always been one that's bothered me from students. They could have killed their sibling, but if they follow it with, "Well, at least I'm honest," it's as if all sins are absolved. When did honesty cease becoming an expectation? When did we get to the point where lying is expected and that great strides in character have been taken for being honest?
I thought that was bad and have always chastised students for that. During the last week of school, I realized that the situation had worsened. Instead of "At least I'm honest," I began to hear students say "Well, at least I'm here." Now attendance isn't an expectation - it's proof of character.
2. I recently read comments by Iowa State University's athletic director about athletes transferring that I thought were telling as well:
However, it also helps to keep our transfers in perspective. My peers and I continually discuss the epidemic around the country in the sport of basketball. In the past two years over 500 men’s basketball players have transferred from a Division I team to another program. That number is absolutely amazing. Unfortunately if a kid’s world is not absolutely perfect (in their mind), they run from the problem rather than deal with it. Makes you wonder if it is the first signs of our society’s change in our early education program (no longer give kids grades – everybody passes; can’t keep score, everybody has to win; if you do not like something, have mom or dad complain on your behalf). Personally I wonder how that generation is going to survive in the real world when mom or dad or AAU coach are not there for them during their first job interview or first job evaluation. The bottom line is life is not a video game, you can’t just hit reset if you do not like your initial score.
3. A recent Time magazine article detailed studies across the nation aimed at paying students for grades, attendance, homework, etc. This is considered a viable reform option in getting kids more motivated to perform in school.
I close this school year not with optimism, but with fear for the future. I suppose that's a fitting end to a difficult year. I wish I could put a positive spin on trends both in teenagers and in educational policy. I simply can't.
Well, at least I'm being honest.
1. The phrase "Well at least I'm being honest," has always been one that's bothered me from students. They could have killed their sibling, but if they follow it with, "Well, at least I'm honest," it's as if all sins are absolved. When did honesty cease becoming an expectation? When did we get to the point where lying is expected and that great strides in character have been taken for being honest?
I thought that was bad and have always chastised students for that. During the last week of school, I realized that the situation had worsened. Instead of "At least I'm honest," I began to hear students say "Well, at least I'm here." Now attendance isn't an expectation - it's proof of character.
2. I recently read comments by Iowa State University's athletic director about athletes transferring that I thought were telling as well:
However, it also helps to keep our transfers in perspective. My peers and I continually discuss the epidemic around the country in the sport of basketball. In the past two years over 500 men’s basketball players have transferred from a Division I team to another program. That number is absolutely amazing. Unfortunately if a kid’s world is not absolutely perfect (in their mind), they run from the problem rather than deal with it. Makes you wonder if it is the first signs of our society’s change in our early education program (no longer give kids grades – everybody passes; can’t keep score, everybody has to win; if you do not like something, have mom or dad complain on your behalf). Personally I wonder how that generation is going to survive in the real world when mom or dad or AAU coach are not there for them during their first job interview or first job evaluation. The bottom line is life is not a video game, you can’t just hit reset if you do not like your initial score.
3. A recent Time magazine article detailed studies across the nation aimed at paying students for grades, attendance, homework, etc. This is considered a viable reform option in getting kids more motivated to perform in school.
I close this school year not with optimism, but with fear for the future. I suppose that's a fitting end to a difficult year. I wish I could put a positive spin on trends both in teenagers and in educational policy. I simply can't.
Well, at least I'm being honest.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Reputation Gone Awry
I'm stuck this week with commentary but no answer to the commentary. I welcome all comments - I'd love fresh perspective on this one.
The question I've been turning over in my head is this: "How should I be seen by the world? What should my reputation in the world be?"
I'm big on reputation. I teach the value of it, and I've worked hard to develop mine. Basically I believe that my daily actions slowly create a reputation amongst others, and that collection of daily actions becomes my identity to them. Most people can list qualities that they'd like to be known for or that they believe about themselves - I'm a nice person, I'm generous, I'm passionate, I'm good at my job, I love my family. . . - but the question is whether or not their daily actions reflect those things. I've tried to teach my students and my basketball players that their actions on a daily basis speak of their character and their priorities and they should be very intentional about the messages they are sending about themselves to others. This week I was confronted with my own reputation.
I found out that one of my bosses (in education you have many) doesn't necessarily like the job I do. Of course I wasn't told that by the boss (another education perk: we believe in many bosses, zero honesty and feedback), but it was by a credible source. I was also told that I'm "polarizing." At first I was very upset. I've worked at this school as a teacher and coach for 3 years now, as long as any other position I've held. I felt like when I left my previous schools, I did so after obtaining respect from students, co-workers, and bosses alike. I'm sure I wasn't liked by everyone, but I certainly felt respected by most. Now, 3 years into this position, I was told I'm seen as a polarizing figure who isn't necessarily suited for more responsibility.
I've calmed down since. When I was upset, it wasn't in self-defense; I was disappointed in myself for building this reputation and was trying to figure out how to change that. I've been doing some thinking, though. How good of a reputation do I really want in this world?
I say that because many times in the New Testament, Christ guarantees trials and tribulations in this world. He says that if you follow Him, there's a great chance the world will hate you. This is good, He says, because we are not to be of the world. If the world loves us, we fit too well in this land.
However, it is also a New Testament theme that we are to represent Christ well in all that we do. We are to be Christ (in actions) to our neighbors. When we take on the name "Christian," what we do affects the reputation of Christ and the Church. I'm not sure the best way to do that is openly alienate all those around me.
I guess the question I have to ask myself is whether or not my actions are Christ-like. Christ was polarizing. Christ spoke hard truths (in love) to others, and they got pretty pissed off about it. He had enough people hate Him that he was executed with no evidence of wrongdoing. Yet he had fiercely loyal followers.
I'm not sure what this means to me. Obviously I don't want to necessarily be polarizing. The more people I can draw to me as a credible, caring person, the better Christ is represented. More dangerous than polarizing, though, would be compromising. And if I am polarizing because I don't compromise my faith, my views of morality, and my unwillingness to accept mediocrity from students and players, then polarizing is something I can embrace.
Thoughts?
The question I've been turning over in my head is this: "How should I be seen by the world? What should my reputation in the world be?"
I'm big on reputation. I teach the value of it, and I've worked hard to develop mine. Basically I believe that my daily actions slowly create a reputation amongst others, and that collection of daily actions becomes my identity to them. Most people can list qualities that they'd like to be known for or that they believe about themselves - I'm a nice person, I'm generous, I'm passionate, I'm good at my job, I love my family. . . - but the question is whether or not their daily actions reflect those things. I've tried to teach my students and my basketball players that their actions on a daily basis speak of their character and their priorities and they should be very intentional about the messages they are sending about themselves to others. This week I was confronted with my own reputation.
I found out that one of my bosses (in education you have many) doesn't necessarily like the job I do. Of course I wasn't told that by the boss (another education perk: we believe in many bosses, zero honesty and feedback), but it was by a credible source. I was also told that I'm "polarizing." At first I was very upset. I've worked at this school as a teacher and coach for 3 years now, as long as any other position I've held. I felt like when I left my previous schools, I did so after obtaining respect from students, co-workers, and bosses alike. I'm sure I wasn't liked by everyone, but I certainly felt respected by most. Now, 3 years into this position, I was told I'm seen as a polarizing figure who isn't necessarily suited for more responsibility.
I've calmed down since. When I was upset, it wasn't in self-defense; I was disappointed in myself for building this reputation and was trying to figure out how to change that. I've been doing some thinking, though. How good of a reputation do I really want in this world?
I say that because many times in the New Testament, Christ guarantees trials and tribulations in this world. He says that if you follow Him, there's a great chance the world will hate you. This is good, He says, because we are not to be of the world. If the world loves us, we fit too well in this land.
However, it is also a New Testament theme that we are to represent Christ well in all that we do. We are to be Christ (in actions) to our neighbors. When we take on the name "Christian," what we do affects the reputation of Christ and the Church. I'm not sure the best way to do that is openly alienate all those around me.
I guess the question I have to ask myself is whether or not my actions are Christ-like. Christ was polarizing. Christ spoke hard truths (in love) to others, and they got pretty pissed off about it. He had enough people hate Him that he was executed with no evidence of wrongdoing. Yet he had fiercely loyal followers.
I'm not sure what this means to me. Obviously I don't want to necessarily be polarizing. The more people I can draw to me as a credible, caring person, the better Christ is represented. More dangerous than polarizing, though, would be compromising. And if I am polarizing because I don't compromise my faith, my views of morality, and my unwillingness to accept mediocrity from students and players, then polarizing is something I can embrace.
Thoughts?
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Seeing God this weekend
While I can't remember the exact Psalm off the top of my head, I know that in one of them the writer expresses that evidence of God exists everywhere. Everywhere we look, we can see God here on earth. This weekend, and really all the time, one of the the greatest pictures for me of God here on earth is my mother. When I think about her words and actions when I'm with her, I realize I've seen the goodness of God. Here are some examples.
"Let the little children come to me."
My mother has time, patience, and energy for both of my daughters all of the time. I don't think I'll ever be able to match that level of patience. My 2 1/2 year old sprints to her when she sees her. When Mom visits, she's the first to the one month old in the middle of the night to rock her, and Mom looks like she feels like the luckiest person in the world in the morning for getting to do that.
Fervent prayer.
I remember Christ praying with great passion for his disciples, and I know how fervently Mom prays for her kids. Of course, we've given her many reasons to pray over the years. I know, though, that when Mom says she's praying for us, she really is praying for us.
Servant-heart.
When Mom comes to visit, all of a sudden dirty dishes disappear, the house is picked up, and laundry is magically finished. It's sometimes a chore to get her to sit down and just talk.
"In all things God works for the good of those who love Him."
Mom provides constant strength in times of desperation. When I'm tired and desperate for help, she is there. I don't like to be vulnerable around other people and appear as if I don't have everything under control, but I will with her. And I know she will do everything she can for my good.
Feed the 5 thousand.
This weekend we had several guests staying at our house for the wedding who arrived on Thursday evening. Emily remembered that we didn't have much in the house for breakfast and instructed me to get milk so we could at least eat cereal. A couple hours later Mom showed up, toting a large container of bagels from Panera. Later in the week she took me and Elise and my future brother-in-law out to lunch. A favorite dessert bar amongst Emily's family is named after Mom, who introduced the family to it. While it might not be quite 5 thousand people each time, like her mother before her, it's impossible to go hungry around Mom.
God has most certainly made it easy for me to see Him here on earth.
"Let the little children come to me."
My mother has time, patience, and energy for both of my daughters all of the time. I don't think I'll ever be able to match that level of patience. My 2 1/2 year old sprints to her when she sees her. When Mom visits, she's the first to the one month old in the middle of the night to rock her, and Mom looks like she feels like the luckiest person in the world in the morning for getting to do that.
Fervent prayer.
I remember Christ praying with great passion for his disciples, and I know how fervently Mom prays for her kids. Of course, we've given her many reasons to pray over the years. I know, though, that when Mom says she's praying for us, she really is praying for us.
Servant-heart.
When Mom comes to visit, all of a sudden dirty dishes disappear, the house is picked up, and laundry is magically finished. It's sometimes a chore to get her to sit down and just talk.
"In all things God works for the good of those who love Him."
Mom provides constant strength in times of desperation. When I'm tired and desperate for help, she is there. I don't like to be vulnerable around other people and appear as if I don't have everything under control, but I will with her. And I know she will do everything she can for my good.
Feed the 5 thousand.
This weekend we had several guests staying at our house for the wedding who arrived on Thursday evening. Emily remembered that we didn't have much in the house for breakfast and instructed me to get milk so we could at least eat cereal. A couple hours later Mom showed up, toting a large container of bagels from Panera. Later in the week she took me and Elise and my future brother-in-law out to lunch. A favorite dessert bar amongst Emily's family is named after Mom, who introduced the family to it. While it might not be quite 5 thousand people each time, like her mother before her, it's impossible to go hungry around Mom.
God has most certainly made it easy for me to see Him here on earth.
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