Prayer: A Response

This is a topic I've always intended to breach, but the timing was never right. My last post prompted prayer questions, though, so I'm going to take a break from the Titus series to explain some of my stances on prayer. I feel somewhat hypocritical, as my prayer life has not been great lately. However, perhaps this entry will spur me towards improvement.

What does prayer do for me?
Perhaps most importantly, prayer is a reminder to myself that I'm not God. If I'm praying, I'm taking the focus off of myself and recognizing the limited control I have. I'm recognizing my place as part of the world (or "the forest" to quote a previous blog post), not the center of it. Talking to the Sovereign Creator of the universe has a way of humbling a person and making that person want to be better. I get that from prayer.

Additionally, as Coach Gardner has been discussing on his blog (see: http://coachgsplaybook.blogspot.com/), it's an attempt to establish a relationship with Christ. I believe we indicate how much we value someone based on the amount of time we spend with them. We invest time in relationships to build them. This is a relationship I want to build. My ability to hear God is severely limited (if not incapacitated) when I'm not speaking with Him.

Also, it's a matter of obedience. God says to pray, so I pray. Same with fasting, with partaking in communion, with serving others, etc.

How do I pray?
One of the best things I started doing a couple of years ago is typing my prayers out. I've got a record of my prayer life over the past 7 years. Obviously it's great to look back and see those prayers as a record of God's faithfulness, but the main benefit for me is to keep me focused. When I pray randomly in my head, my mind wanders. When I'm typing to God, it's more purposeful.

What do I value?
More than anything else, I value authenticity. I believe so much Biblical evidence exists of God's displeasure with those who "praise him with their tongue, not with their heart." I don't want to waste words with God, say anything out of tradition or habit, or approach prayer half-heartedly. I want to be purposeful and honest. There have been times I've been angry or confused or frustrated with God, and I'm very honest about it in my prayer. I believe God wants real, not routine. The book of Psalms has a lot of that in it.

For that reason, I'm careful about when and why I pray. One thing I've struggled with is the Protestant tradition of praying before meals. I recognize the need to thank God for everything, but so many times I feel like people believe the food will turn to ash if it's not "blessed" with prayer. I don't want to pray because that's what is done before a meal. Prayer shouldn't be an obligation or a way of introducing that it's okay to eat now. We should absolutely thank God for food, but we should thank Him for every cup of coffee, every Diet Coke, every package of Nutty Bars, and every breath. I want the prayer to be real and authentic. My wife and I do pray before supper, but only because that's the one time we're together during the day and can pray together. For no other meals do I make it a must: I refuse to let obligation or tradition dictate when and how I talk to God

Additionally, it drives me nuts that in many church services, there are scheduled prayer times. The church bulletin says it's time to pray, so let's all dutifully bow our heads. I've also been in church services during which it feels like we can't move from one song to the next without a prayer. The praying becomes a transition. Prayer shouldn't be a transition - for me, I want to mean it when I speak with God.

On a related manner, that also affects things like the Lord's Prayer for me. Every time I say that, I try to slow it down and put in my mind what specifically I'm saying with each line:
- Hallowed be thy name: why am I honoring God today? What am I thankful for?
- Thy kingdom come, thy will be done: I trust you, God. I believe your will for my life is best, even if I'm not comfortable.
- Give us this day, our daily bread: What do I need today? What is the bread I need?
- Forgive us our trespasses: How have I erred lately?
- As we forgive those. . .: Am I willing to forgive?
- Lead us not into temptation: God, I know I'm tempted by this (fill in the blank). I will need your help to overcome this.

And on and on and on. The prayer has got to be purposeful and meaningful for me. I don't want to go through the motions. I fear that if I'm not diligent about remaining authentic with God, prayer becomes another checkmark on the to-do list.

I've got a thousand prayer issues that I deal with. I studied prayer for a summer, reading many of the major writers throughout history on the subject, trying to better understand it. And I continue to seek more info and to get better. I fail miserably at praying consistently during busy times (which is when I should be praying the most). I'm not good with praying with other people. There are many days during which, embarrassingly, I just don't know what to say to God. Certainly I don't have everything figured out.

These are just some thoughts on the topic now that it's come up. I believe there aren't enough real, honest conversations about this topic, and I'd love to have one here. Any commentary?